From hate to forgiveness

[Lamplighter]

Statesman Journal
Oct 30, 2011
From hate to healing

One mother was able to forgive the death-row inmate responsible for killing her daughter,
becoming an advocate against the death penalty

Much of this article is about repealing the death penalty in Oregon.
But that is not my reason for posting it.

I have really mixed feelings about how a person would respond when a loved-one is killed.
To go from hatred and revenge to forgiveness and befriending.
I'm not at all sure I could do it.

For years, Aba Gayle "lusted for revenge" against the California
death- row inmate who murdered her 19-year-old daughter.
But everything changed when she mailed the killer a letter, saying she forgave him.

"I hope this letter will help you to face your future," she wrote.
"There is only love and good in the world regardless of how things may appear to you now.
I am willing to write to you or visit you if you wish."

Dropping the letter in the mailbox triggered a powerful emotional release,
Gayle remembered last week.
"All of a sudden, all the anger and rage was gone," she said.
"I was truly in a state of grace, just from offering another human being forgiveness.
I knew in that moment that I didn't need to have someone murdered by the state of California so I could be healed."

Paying visits to San Quentin prison, Gayle befriended the man she once despised and wanted put to death.
As hate gave way to healing, she turned against the death penalty.
<snip>