i hope i don't jinx myself, but...

[staceyv]

i'm happy i haven't had any marriage problems since february.arsen doesn't even use the computer anymore. he works all the time. he was the #1 salesman in both stores last month, he's coming up with all of his 1/2 of the bills, and we're saving all the extra for my diamond- our anniversary is september 9...he calls me from work all the time to say hi and see what i'm doing - i love it when he checks up on me- it shows me that he cares and i never mind because i have nothing to hide.
he's helping me to learn russian. it's been abour 5 months now and i'm making great progress. i study about 3 hours a day- no time to come to the cellar and shoot the shit!
he gives me his entire paycheck every week and lets me do all of the accounting and bill paying. he said i can spend $50 a week on his groceries (at first he thought it was too much, yeah, right) so now i cook all the time. it's a big hobby of mine, and he'll eat anything. indian, middle eastern, cuban, cajun, southern, portuguese, you name it.
i've been going to yardsales on saturdays and i redecorated the entire apartment- it looks like a home now. my mother says she loves it and it's so cozy. i got a great futon for $35, nice pictures, appliances, etc...GOD!! i can't BELIEVE how domesticated i've become!!!
my boss is understanding about my taking a week off every month and i live for that time. it's changed my life. my awful period cramps are a blessing in disguise! i don't even want to fix them now. i love my schedule.
all the shit i was so stressed out over last winter is all gone. i went to an allergist about my multiple food intolerances and he told me to keep doing what i'm doing, to just eat what i can tolerate and that my diet is balanced enough and there's nothing else i can do- fine, i don't feel like worrying about it anyways, and i'm happy enough to eat clams, fish, lobster, potatoes and apples. i don't feel like i'm missing out on anything- especially since we got the charcoal grill-( oh my god, try smoked fish!)
anyway, i think all of my posts on this site in the past have been negative and dramatic and i wanted to show the other, happy side of myself. sorry if i made anyone feel like gagging, but hey, i've had enough shit and i deserve some happiness.
i'm glad i stayed with arsen. he's a good husband. he's loving and intelligent and fun to be around. and he's totally dedicated to me. i can tell he loves me by his actions. maybe he used to have feelings for that other chick, but that was when we had only been together for a few months! and he stopped his romantic letters as soon as he got married. he has no contact with that girl and it's just not an issue. he doesn't party with his friends, he always calls if he'll be late from work, he's never on the computer and he always tells me how happy he is and how lucky he is to have me. and maybe it's a good thing that he forms such strong and emotional atachments, because now they are to me
i think a lot of our past problems were from him being young, immature and inexperienced, but he learns quickly, and it doesn't seem like he repeats past mistakes. he just needed a few lessons on "what not to do to really screw up a relationship" and now that he knows better, he does better.
and now, i am done rambling. i spent 8 hours in the sun today drinking frozen rum and fruit drinks. i'm not sure if i'm all here, so i apologize if this whole post is rambling and repetitive, but it's how i feel. update complete.