Fashion Advice Needed ...

wolf · 11-13-2004, 11:42 PM

I am going to a funeral tomorrow.

Well, memorial service. As far as I know the dead guy won't be there. He's in Orlando.

He was a musician, and played for a band that I really loved and followed to just about every venue they played. Yes, I was a groupie. I didn't sleep with any of the band members, I wasn't that kind of a groupie ... and the friend I would go with missed the mark a bit, she ended up marrying a roadie.

Anyway ... one of the band members passed away, and the service is today (Sunday). In a bar.

What do I wear?

Regular funeral clothes, or fanwear, which in this instance is a handpainted tee shirt ... Beru Revue never produced their own, and I had also given one of these shirts to Johnny Sacks, the decedent.

I had reconnected with him very recently, just after he had made the decision not to pursue another round of chemotherapy to treat his colon cancer.

elSicomoro · 11-13-2004, 11:52 PM

My sympathies for your loss.

Casual enough to fit in at a bar, nice enough to fit in at a funeral...in my case, a dress shirt and a pair of slacks with comfortable shoes.

BrianR · 11-14-2004, 07:39 AM

My condolences also...I saw them a few times at the old Cabaret. They had talent, I tell ya!

Griff · 11-14-2004, 08:06 AM

Bummer Wolf. Is the bar thing a family event or a band event? If its strictly fans/band members maybe you can loosen the dress code a little. Myself though, I'd keep it pretty formal.

richlevy · 11-14-2004, 10:00 AM

My condolences, too. I agree with Syc, a dress shirt and a pair of slacks with comfortable shoes since you said there would be a service.

Elspode · 11-14-2004, 10:38 AM

I offer good energies and condolences to you and all who loved the musician. However, me offering fashion advice would be a terrible disservice to you and everyone who might see you if you were unfortunate enough to actually take it.

wolf · 11-14-2004, 12:07 PM

It's a musician/fan event. Don't know if family will be there.

I'll probably end up wearing the fan shirt, but underneath something with buttons, so that if it is okay to reveal it, I can.

11-14-2004, 12:46 PM

This is probably too late for fashion advise (I can't imagine you taking any advise from me, anyway!

), but you do have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your friend. A good friend is hard to find, and to lose one leaves a hole in one's life. I'm sorry that you have to experience this.

flippant · 11-14-2004, 09:23 PM

Sorry about your friend........What would your friend have liked to see you in? I'd go with that.

Beestie · 11-14-2004, 09:24 PM

Sorry, Wolf.

Hope you were able to pay your respects in a way that you felt appropriate.

Cancer sucks. The Cellar is always here.

xoxoxoBruce · 11-15-2004, 10:16 AM

Naked. Make everyone forget their loss for awhile.

wolf · 11-18-2004, 12:45 AM

Actually had a pretty good time at the memorial, got to reconnect with people I hadn't seen in many, many years, and was a big hit in my fanwear ... Many of the folks remembered me wearing the handpainted shirt back in the day, including Pierre Robert from WMMR.

Johnny Sacks will be sorely missed, but he got a great send-off, including two sets from Beru Revue.

I managed not to get too drunk, remembered where I parked my car, and didn't have to shoot anybody, despite having ventured into the city at night.

Sun_Sparkz · 12-10-2004, 08:56 PM

I think funerals are the hardest thing to dress for. I have to go to one on Monday for my partners grandfather.

Usually i would go formal, but his family are so carefree and informal that i dont think they will be formal.. so i dont know what to wear now either. I dont want to go too casual though, in case i look like i dont care. but i don't want to go too formal, and have them think i just carelessly dressed for a funeral, instead of being in tune with the rest of the family.

?

wolf · 12-11-2004, 01:14 AM

US rules may be different from Aussie rules, just like in football ...

Here, you can get away with nice dark slacks or skirt and shirt. Grays are often better than blacks. Less mournful, but still respectful.

I officiated at the funeral of a friend and we sent word out to all attendees ... no black. Brights only. She wouldn't have wanted you to wear black because you think you're supposed to.

At a funeral of a coworker recently, the preferred attire was a Flyer's (Philadelphia's Ice Hockey Team) Jersey, including for the "guest of honor."

The man loved the Fly-boys, the wife knew it, and saw to it that he was sent off in style.

I like to think of the lack of hockey this season as an appropriate period of mourning.

xoxoxoBruce · 12-11-2004, 06:07 PM

If the deceased is fortunate, they will have died when my jeans are fairly new and dark. Yes, I'm serious.

11-13-2004, 11:42 PM	#1
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Fashion Advice Needed ... I am going to a funeral tomorrow. Well, memorial service. As far as I know the dead guy won't be there. He's in Orlando. He was a musician, and played for a band that I really loved and followed to just about every venue they played. Yes, I was a groupie. I didn't sleep with any of the band members, I wasn't that kind of a groupie ... and the friend I would go with missed the mark a bit, she ended up marrying a roadie. Anyway ... one of the band members passed away, and the service is today (Sunday). In a bar. What do I wear? Regular funeral clothes, or fanwear, which in this instance is a handpainted tee shirt ... Beru Revue never produced their own, and I had also given one of these shirts to Johnny Sacks, the decedent. I had reconnected with him very recently, just after he had made the decision not to pursue another round of chemotherapy to treat his colon cancer. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

11-14-2004, 07:39 AM	#3
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	My condolences also...I saw them a few times at the old Cabaret. They had talent, I tell ya! __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

11-14-2004, 08:06 AM	#4
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Bummer Wolf. Is the bar thing a family event or a band event? If its strictly fans/band members maybe you can loosen the dress code a little. Myself though, I'd keep it pretty formal. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

11-14-2004, 10:00 AM	#5
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	My condolences, too. I agree with Syc, a dress shirt and a pair of slacks with comfortable shoes since you said there would be a service. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama

11-14-2004, 10:38 AM	#6
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I offer good energies and condolences to you and all who loved the musician. However, me offering fashion advice would be a terrible disservice to you and everyone who might see you if you were unfortunate enough to actually take it. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

11-13-2004, 11:52 PM	#2
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	My sympathies for your loss. Casual enough to fit in at a bar, nice enough to fit in at a funeral...in my case, a dress shirt and a pair of slacks with comfortable shoes.

11-14-2004, 12:07 PM	#7
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	It's a musician/fan event. Don't know if family will be there. I'll probably end up wearing the fan shirt, but underneath something with buttons, so that if it is okay to reveal it, I can. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

11-14-2004, 12:46 PM	#8
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	This is probably too late for fashion advise (I can't imagine you taking any advise from me, anyway! ), but you do have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your friend. A good friend is hard to find, and to lose one leaves a hole in one's life. I'm sorry that you have to experience this.

11-14-2004, 09:23 PM	#9
flippant shameless....so stop trying so hard....-me Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Colorado location* Posts: 215	Sorry about your friend........What would your friend have liked to see you in? I'd go with that. __________________ - I know we won't meet again in the season of blossoms, And I won't sit quietly by drunk in my chamber- YU HSUAN- CHI Ninth Century, CHANG' AN

11-14-2004, 09:24 PM	#10
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	Sorry, Wolf. Hope you were able to pay your respects in a way that you felt appropriate. Cancer sucks. The Cellar is always here. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

11-15-2004, 10:16 AM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Naked. Make everyone forget their loss for awhile. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-18-2004, 12:45 AM	#12
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Actually had a pretty good time at the memorial, got to reconnect with people I hadn't seen in many, many years, and was a big hit in my fanwear ... Many of the folks remembered me wearing the handpainted shirt back in the day, including Pierre Robert from WMMR. Johnny Sacks will be sorely missed, but he got a great send-off, including two sets from Beru Revue. I managed not to get too drunk, remembered where I parked my car, and didn't have to shoot anybody, despite having ventured into the city at night. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-10-2004, 08:56 PM	#13
Sun_Sparkz Has Body Temperature Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I come from a land downunder Posts: 1,105	I think funerals are the hardest thing to dress for. I have to go to one on Monday for my partners grandfather. Usually i would go formal, but his family are so carefree and informal that i dont think they will be formal.. so i dont know what to wear now either. I dont want to go too casual though, in case i look like i dont care. but i don't want to go too formal, and have them think i just carelessly dressed for a funeral, instead of being in tune with the rest of the family. ? __________________ We'll never be as young as we are right now

12-11-2004, 01:14 AM	#14
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	US rules may be different from Aussie rules, just like in football ... Here, you can get away with nice dark slacks or skirt and shirt. Grays are often better than blacks. Less mournful, but still respectful. I officiated at the funeral of a friend and we sent word out to all attendees ... no black. Brights only. She wouldn't have wanted you to wear black because you think you're supposed to. At a funeral of a coworker recently, the preferred attire was a Flyer's (Philadelphia's Ice Hockey Team) Jersey, including for the "guest of honor." The man loved the Fly-boys, the wife knew it, and saw to it that he was sent off in style. I like to think of the lack of hockey this season as an appropriate period of mourning. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-11-2004, 06:07 PM	#15
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	If the deceased is fortunate, they will have died when my jeans are fairly new and dark. Yes, I'm serious. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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