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-   -   Tales from the Nuthouse: Lest You Think I have a Really Cool Job (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=8080)

wolf 03-20-2009 10:04 AM

He was from out of state. And he was my first nut carrying a saxomophone. I've logged a lot of crazy property, but it was my first sax. The thing looks beat ... dusty, pitted finish and all? but the cork and pads are in perfect condition, and he's got a lot of good quality reeds in the box, and plenty of cork grease (I played tenor sax back in the day, know about these things).

ZenGum 03-22-2009 07:52 PM

So, he wished to engage in some saxual perversity?

Urbane Guerrilla 03-23-2009 01:21 AM

Blow, Winds, & Crack Your Cheeks!
 
That being aural sax.:neutral:

wolf 03-24-2009 01:37 AM

Some nights, things go well.

Other nights, things are busy as Hell.

Occasionally things are right smack in the middle.

That's where we are right now.

Would have maybe gotten out of here within an hour of my regular time to leave but for one thing ...

Midnight guy calls in at around 2330 ... "Yeah, this is MidnightGuy. I was on my way in and I puked in my car. I'm turning around, going home to clean myself up. I'll see how things go and call back."

Not surprisingly, when he called back (just before midnight) he said, "Yeah, I'm not making it in."

By the time he made the second call, I'd already made arrangements to reschedule my lunch date with Tester-San for tomorrow, and informed momwolf not to wait up.

So, here I am, in the nuthouse, taking one for the team, providing coverage for the shift.

I have had three-quarters of a pot of coffee. I have snacks leftover from dinner that I didn't eat.

That's about as good as it's going to get.

I just hope I don't run out of cigarettes.

That could get ugly.

wolf 03-24-2009 01:43 AM

Oh, and I have a new name, courtesy of a very agitated patient that was in last week.

I am "Commander Fatass."

My cow orkers and I were comparing names we have been given by patients. The big scary (white) guy's new name is "Nigger" and my rather demure female cow orker is "Cum-sucking Slut."

xoxoxoBruce 03-24-2009 01:51 AM

Cum-sucking Slut? Uh, er, could I get an introduction? :blush:

Trilby 03-24-2009 07:59 AM

actually, "cum-sucking slut" is a series in a porn franchise...

eg: Kacey the cum sucking slut....Angie the cum sucking slut....and so on.

guess the guy is into film....:)

HungLikeJesus 03-24-2009 08:47 AM

You have an amazing depth of knowledge.

Trilby 03-24-2009 09:08 AM

you've no idea.

ZenGum 03-24-2009 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 548901)
Oh, and I have a new name, courtesy of a very agitated patient that was in last week.

I am "Commander Fatass."

My cow orkers and I were comparing names we have been given by patients. The big scary (white) guy's new name is "Nigger" and my rather demure female cow orker is "Cum-sucking Slut."

User title time!

wolf 03-25-2009 01:19 PM

I stand corrected. She's merely "Cum-Slut," not "Cum-Sucking Slut."

Sorry for any confusion this may have caused.

We would love to get tee-shirts, but particularly Nigger understands that others may not find this as amusing as we do.

I was very busy last night talking to JFK Airport police.

Seems they have one of my warrants, and promised to do their best to find my nut and get him to me.

I guess since 9/11 the airports are really sensitive about crazy guys wandering around their terminals and getting onto one of their flights.

xoxoxoBruce 03-25-2009 01:33 PM

Unless he/she is the pilot.

How did they get your warrant, was he suspected of going to NY, or are the just sent out APB?

ZenGum 03-25-2009 06:48 PM

The idea of being admitted to a mental hospital by three people whose T-shirts indicate they are Commander Fatass, Cum-Slut, and Nigger is making me laugh. In the office. This is going to be hard to explain.

Stormieweather 03-25-2009 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum (Post 549410)
The idea of being admitted to a mental hospital by three people whose T-shirts indicate they are Commander Fatass, Cum-Slut, and Nigger is making me laugh. In the office. This is going to be hard to explain.

You might even begin to crazy you are not as think as those think people seem to crazy you are.

wolf 03-26-2009 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce (Post 549352)
Unless he/she is the pilot.

How did they get your warrant, was he suspected of going to NY, or are the just sent out APB?

It was faxed to JFK along with a photo of the intended patient by his home police jurisdiction who had entered him into NCIC as a missing emotionally disabled person. Family thought he was going to fly home (to a foreign country), and usually flew out of JFK, although PHL also has a direct flight there. Point of technical fact my warrant is not valid in that jurisdiction, but, hey, who am I to argue with a Sergeant who is all excited about grabbing up a nut and delivering to me. Even the boss thought it was pretty cool.

Turns out he never made it to the airport, although he was in NYC yesterday ... sounds like he was making a series of "goodbye" visits to significant places from his life. He had also driven to a good-sized city to the South of us, and said he was walking around the area where he and his wife met, that kind of thing. He showed up at home around 0400 hrs, and the local police took him into custody. My EMTs said he was nuts.


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