The Cellar - Idiot sightings

My G-son, Sam, called around noon today, saying he had bought two pontoon boats,
and he and his friend, Kenny, were going to drift the North Fork of the Nehalem River,
from the hatchery down 4 miles to the take out.

I was driving so all I could say was:
"Be sure to wear your life jackets, and call me when you reach the take-out."

When I got home, I Googled a fishing forum about that stretch of the river.
These are some remarks I found...

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The north fork is a hard run on drift boats.I call the rapids ACE,KING,and Queen.

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If you haven't seen the falls section I would advise a "no go".

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It truely is not for the faint of heart. In my opinion the King is by far the most difficult.

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The river necks down into a lava channel and the slot rips hard right as it flows over the falls....

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It does claim its share of lives so be damn careful if you go.....Please.

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I will not even ride with a guide down that river. No fish is worth my life.

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I did the float a few years ago in a 10' Scadden, but portaged some of the bigger ones.
I'm interested in doing again but want to do it with an experienced partner.

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Is your life insurance paid up ?...Do not do this thhe first time on your own.
It is that bad. Go with a guide or in a raft the first time.
If you go back, be very prepared and be good.

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I would recommend running it with somebody that has done it before.
It is very challenging and can easily go bad if you make mistakes

Even Oregon Fish and Wildlife urged caution:

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Boaters may float the North Fork below the hatchery, but extreme caution is necessary.
Several bedrock rapids make drifting this river hazardous,
and it should be attempted by only experienced boaters.
Rafts are highly recommended.

I tried calling Sam back to head him off, but got no answer... several times.

At 6:30 (more than an hour after dark) I was ready to call Search and Rescue,
but decided to try Sam one more time.

He answered !

They were was still on the river, but rowing in slow water... close to the take-out.

My idiot G-son was pretty jazzed up about the trip saying:
"Today was the most fun I've ever had not fishing"

When I hung up... I started shaking all over.
I didn't realize how tense I had been all day.

Damn 25-year old idiot males believe they are immortal and unbreakable.