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How dumb is this guy anyway? I mean, come on! What a doofus. He'll believe anything!

Why? Because you did?

NO BECAUSE YOUR A STUPID

that would be more effective in red.

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their ass is too fat…………
10% of women think their ass is too skinny……
The remaining 60% say they don’t care, they love him, he’s a good man, and they wouldn’t trade him for the world .

hehehe hahaha:D :D :D
This is too funny, where did u get it?

Steak & Blow Job Day

Quote:

You know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do care for them more than any other. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.

Which is why a new holiday has been created.

March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.

No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!

The word is already beginning to spread, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world. And, of course, steak and BJ's.

Posted by SteveBsjb on Audiogalaxy; 03/15/08

UPS Airlines

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high
School diploma to fix one; a reassurance for those of us who fly
routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,'
Which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS' pilots (marked
with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident (let hope it stays that way!~TJ)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute Descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint (Post 440498)

Posted by SteveBsjb on Audiogalaxy; 03/15/08

Also posted on the Cellar....around Valentine's Day

Quote:

Originally Posted by total loss (Post 440469)

hehehe hahaha:D :D :D
This is too funny, where did u get it?

http://clients.arranschlosberg.com/chuck/

Just saw this guy on Comedy Channel. He was great.
http://www.nashvillestandup.com/news...-may_girth.jpg

If you like him, it must mean he sucks. I can see why you like him though. He wraps himself up in the flag just like you and the other nationalists.