I have an Angry Bird lanyard for mt whistle at school.
It's such a simple thing but gets me so many cool points!

Keep going Lola.
Remember they do not have to be perfect.
As long as the kids can recognise them, you are Super-Auntie!

the fact that I spent all day yesterday without internet. I call CenturyLink who says they are not having a problem...it must be my wiring or modem. So, they are supposed to come out today.

I get up this morning and the internet is working. I checked my modem and all the lights are on. So, I call them to update the trouble ticket. I tell them that it is now working, but I want someone to come out because the modem must be having trouble intermittently.

The wife calls me to tell me that they guy was out and it was a problem on THEIR end! You couldn't call to tell us that? And why did you not know when I called yesterday...or when you called back later that evening to see if my internet was still down?

I lost a friend of mine from HS on Friday...apparently, he committed suicide. I believe this is the first friend/relative I've lost to suicide. It's horribly sad...he was always one of the most laid-back and funniest people I knew.

You just never know what lurks beneath the surface.

The professor who taught my major 'special interest' module in my final year of undergrad and supervised my dissertation, was also going to be my supervisor for my Masters, but had to go on an extended leave due to throat cancer. Earlier in the year she appeared to be doing better, but had announced that she was going to retire. There was supposed to be a little party at the faculty a couple of weeks ago for her retirement. Got an email the week before to say Katrina wouldn't be able to come after all as her health had deteriorated significantly.

I just checked my emails and there's one from the head of school to say that she has now moved to a hospice, and that her partner, children and siblings are with her. She is too weak for visitors.

I'm really struggling not to cry. It's so fucking unfair. This woman is so fiercely intelligent, warm, caring, lovely and brilliant. I'm feeling a little guilty that I didn't maintain contact with her after she went on leave. I was just so wrapped up in my work, and (minor) health problems of my own, y'know how these things go. That and the context of our contact had gone largely.

It's not a major feeling of guilt. Just a niggle. Mostly I'm just really saddened.

Fuck cancer.



@ Syc: that's terribly sad. It's such a shock when someone who seems so together commits suicide.

Sorry guys, those are both difficult things to sort out.

wow. Suicide and throat cancer.

Tough to imagine either one.


I think throat cancer would be the very worst - I'm so sorry Dana and Sycamore, for your friends suffering. Ugh. Life is a weird and awful bitch sometimes.

It seems the "most laid-back and funny" people are the ones who are most sensitive and prone to the vagaries of life.

Drowning not waving, as the poem goes.

I'm so sorry for this, Syc. It's so hard for the survivors.

wss ^

Warm thoughts to those suffering. :(

Sorry to hear that Syc. I saw your link on FB. He seemed to be such a great guy.

@Syc - Sorry, man. Prayers for his family and friends.

@Dana - Fuck Cancer. Prayers for her family and friends as well.

Thanks guys.

Sorry to hear that Dana. Didn't you mention something about this before ... or was that a political friend?

I think I mentioned something about it. There've been a few such stories lately unfortunately. Our Stell, Romy - a family friend/non-blood relative of my ex - and Katrina, my former professor.

I think I posted abot Katrina when she first had to go on extended sick leave. It was a little after the start of my MA. She was down as my co-supervisor along with my current supervisor. That was late 2009/early 2010 (can't recall exactly, my timings all off :p).

I think one of the things that's getting to me about Katrina, is that alongside the loss to her family and friends, the world is losing a fabulous mind and a brilliant historian. Someone who was doing genuinely important (in my opinion) work.

Wrapped up an aggravated domestic violence case on a man who beat his pregnant girlfriend and then threatened her with a pistol for trying to call for help. Hipaa prohibits me from stating the status of the fetus, but the suspect has a $2 million bond. Can you read between the lines??

I'm so disgusted!

Thank you for dealing with that shit, Sarge. Very seriously, thank you.

._________________. a line.

Uhhhh, is this in the right thread?

I guess not... I was reading about angry birds and that is where I posted it, immediately... My bad.

Grandad's still hanging on, but is getting morphine twice daily now.
The doctor told Mum it's likely that he has prostate cancer, but it is too late to do any tests and certainly too late for treatment.

So he's in limbo to an extent.
Dying, yes, but not really with us either.

We have agreed the hymns for his funeral between us.
My sister came over with a suggestion last night, but it's not well known enough to include. No point having something people are hesitant about singing.

After she left, Mum said, "I told her we were choosing hymns and she obviously felt left out and came rushing over!"
Bless her. It was obvious and quite right that Mum had asked her for suggestions too. How could I be upset about that? Ah well.

Isn't it nice that your Grandad has a caring family? :) He is so lucky you are all taking care of everything.

Someone cleaned out my bill paying bank account today. Not allot in it I only use this account to auto pay bills so when I got an over draft email I was shocked. After an hour on the phone [major annoying] all has been credited until the "investigation" concludes. [45 days] :eek2: I don't know how anyone would get that account card # unless one of my bill payees has been compromised. It's not used for anything else. :mad2:

Ach. Hugs and warm thoughts, hon.

Nice that your mum was watchful of your feelings. At a time like this, that's kind of cool.

Why is it too late to do tests? They can always do tests to find out what's wrong. Maybe he just has kidney stones or something?

I believe he's only partially aware of his surroundings and very elderly. Too late in his life, not necessarily to late in the life of the cancer. Even if it was "just kidney stones", it sounds like he's too weak/far gone for any treatment to serve any purpose/be anything other than undignifying intrusions on his peace.

I could be wrong and if so, I apologise for my insensitivity.

That's what I took it to mean as well. There was a point where they realized my elderly grandmother had some kind of cancer--but they said 1.) she wouldn't survive surgery or any kind of treatment for it, and 2.) it was a slow-growing kind and would take at least 2-3 years to kill her, and she was going to succumb to any number of other things long before that.

I was thinking of paliative relief really. Sometimes morphine is not the best drug or whatever. I just wondered.

Monster and Clod were right - it's the fact that he's very frail now, rarely fully conscious and no longer even responds to Mum's voice. Occasionally she comes home and says he was aware or intelligible. Of course these are the times that make her cry more.

Re cancer, it's possible they've already tested his urine but are not willing to give him a biopsy?
I have to trust that the doctor who upped his morphine dose is prescribing in an informed way. I can't say any more than that, as it was filtered through Mum.

And no, I won't be offended by any questions or suggested answers.
This is the only place I get to discuss it openly, without having people wince.
Mum and I talk about it, but I have to tread a fine line between being objective so she feels she can depend on me, and being sensitive so she knows I care.

I'll have to start doing more for her.
At least I'm home next week. Even something as simple as making her a cup of tea when she gets back will share the love.

he's led a long and full life. give him morphine for pain and let him go in peace. it's hard to do, but probably the only reasonable action.

Server issues
 

Exchange 2003 problems, new hardware does not arrive until Monday. Harddrives getting harder to source (Thailand flooding). IT? Why did I choose it as a profession?

Injury added to insult by my bank


Ok but you made me cut up my f$%^ing card for your error! :mad: Maybe I should charge them the $35 f6%^^ing dollars they were going to charge me for INSF. :mad2:

Welcome SirF. and IT was definitely the wrong choice. :D

Hey Fatty. Didn't understand a word of your post but hello anyway :)

Ah well.

Made cake. And tea.
Wrong thing to do.
She went out for tea and cake this afternoon.
"Oh I've had enough of that!"

Left cake out for her in case she fancied it later.
Wrong thing to do.
"I'd better put that away for you - it'll go dry otherwise!"
No it won't, it's a rum soaked cake.

"I hope it's not like the one last week, that was too much for me!"
Well actually it's not as potent, but nice of you to flag that up before you tasted it.

Yes, I am far too sensitive to her opinions.

I'll make what she likes next time.
Which is fair enough.
If she'd made me banana and peanut butter cookies I might have been more polite, but I'd still have avoided them.

So, when she said these things, did the conversation actually go something like this (rather than the internal thoughts you posted):

Sundae: Oh dear, I made it specially because I thought you had been a bit down and I wanted to cheer you up. Shall I leave it out in case you fancy a bit later?"

Sundae: Thanks, I'm sorry you didn't fancy any.

Sundae, No, I realised that was too much for you, so I made this one less potent.


...or did you say nothing or did you say pretty much what you posted here?



Also, why a booze-soaked cake? And only a week after another one? Seemes a bit excessive, especially if it's not noted as her favorite? Maybe she is terse because she is worried about you making so many alcolol laced cakes as well as grandad? I know i've been away 10 years, but in my "circle" alcohol cakes were really only made in birthdays and at Christmas, if at all. I've certainly never made one -and I wouldn't have one with a cup of tea. Although I wouldn't lace tea with spirits either, and I know that's not uncommon.

Masochism?

Oh, and welcome.

Back in the hospital. CT scan shows fistulas in the area where they did the surgery last April. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Oh, I am sorry to hear that.

I think we all do our best to help in most situations, and sometimes we get it wrong, but in the end, it's the love we put into it that counts. Even if you don't like what's on offer, you have to appreciate the effort someone went to just for you.

That's how things work in my world anyway. I know it's not like that in everyone's world, but still...

Life fucking sux sometimes, and no matter what you do people still feel sad. Hopefully when they don't feel so sad they'll remember and things will be better in the future.

That's a bummer Pete. I don't really know what fistulas are, but I did see some German porn once that was called to mind by your post.

So what do they do now Pete?

:D

I dunno long term. Right now they're giving me antibiotics.

German porn often ends that way.

tag up, bro.

I *got* this.

Monster, I didn't make the responses I posted here, I just wrote my internal conversation.
And the only reason I made another run one was because I had some rum glaze to use up. Less than last time and no rum in the cake.

But in hindsight it was daft of me to think that the cake would be a lovely reat after she's just been out for afternoon tea :)

Pete - sorry to hear that. Fingers crossed that antibiotics will work.

Yeah I assumed that was internal dialogue, I'm just wondering why she's so aggressive, doesn't make any sense....

It's her set reaction to most situations - stress, shock, surprise etc.
She's worse with Dad.

Still, we had a chat about it today.
She said she just preferred a normal chocolate cake with chocolate icing. Which is fair enough, I'll save the special ones for school. I might make her some rock buns in a week or so, I know she likes those.

Turns out Grandad's semi-diagnosis comes from ruling out different areas from the cancer suspect list. Also that he had an operation on his prostate about 30 years ago. Apparently when they asked the surgeon back then whether there was any chance of recurring symptoms he scoffed "I wouldn't worry about that my man, you'll be fine for at least another fifteen years and you probably won't we with us by then, yukyukyuk." Of course, that's Mum's report of the conversation!

He is unable to eat now, only taking small sips of liquid.
The Manager of the home says she's surprised he's hanging on.
Which I think is rather insensitive.
But again, she might not have said it in those words.

I dreamed last night that I was on holiday and was unpicking a black blouse and trying to resew it for his funeral. We were supposed to be leaving at 8pm but at 4.30pm I was still sitting in bed messing about with the blouse, and I hadn't even started redecorating the room so that I would get my depsoit back...

Sorry Pete - hope that whatever they do creates a better situation for you.

*hugs Sundae*

@ Pete: that sucks m'dear. Hope they can sort it out fast.

Yesterday we all got emails to tell us that Katrina passed away. Her family and friends have lost a wonderful woman. The world has lost a brilliant scholar and a truly inspiring teacher.

Fuck cancer.

Sorry D.

Fuck cancer.

That is sad. Dana, we know you will miss her,
and that she made an important impact on you and your career.

Thanks guys.

sorry to hear that Dana. (hugs)
oh and FUCK CANCER

So sorry Dani.
It's hard to lose anyone, but especially someone who has made such an impression.

Mum has been asked to name her funeral home of choice by the nursing staff.
Of course she knew it already and has all the plans in place, but it's obviously intended as an advance warning.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Dana.

My deepest sympathies, Dana. :(

Fuck Cancer Dana

I'm sorry Dana

we're sorry Dana. lost my dad to cancer and think i mentioned somewhere that my roommate just had his prostate removed because of cancer. oh and Gnomey has something to say:

*smiles*

You guys rock.

We had a little gathering for her in the school, just a few staff and postgrads, a couple of her former students. It was nice.

I didn't really know her all that well. Others of her circle are suffering genuine grief, so I feel slightly fraudulent accepting your condolences. I'll accept them on their behalf.

I am saddened though. I regret that I never got the chance to get to know her as a colleague, rather than as her student. I also regret that she isn't, and hasn't been, around on my first teaching experiences. She had a reputation for being immesely supportive and helpful with early career teachers in the school. Hers was a friendship I'd have courted.