lol. nice

Whilst waiting for my variety pears in a bag to ripen, I looked to the internet for help in knowing 'exactly' when a pear is ripe.

This little bit of advice amused me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

And what is the best way to eat a perfectly ripe pear?

"After years of study, scientists have found that a really juicy pear is best eaten while naked, in the bathtub, so that you needn't be concerned about the abundant juice streaming down your chin," he laughed

:)

/\Snort/\

Mulling over last night, where Mum hosted a meal for 8 instead of the 6 she expected - thank goodness for her habitual over-catering!
She asked me this morning where I got the bottle for the dressing from. Eh?
The little plastic bottle that was in the kitchen.
Oh right.

It wasn't mine you see.
We'd realised that the balsamic dressing was out of date, so Mum binned it rather than have any of her guests notice and laugh at her. I offered just to whip some up but she declined. Then, as if by magic, a tiny bottle appeared on the table, filled with balsamic dressing.

One of Mum's friends then offered to dress the salad.

Now looking back, said friend is a cheeky mare.
She came to dinner with her own dressing.
She then proceeded to dress both bowls of salads with her own dressing, despite there being two dressings on the table so that people could dress to their own tastes.

As Mum assumed it was my dressing she just went along with it.

As you can tell from it being in this thread, I'm less annoyed than amused at her front.

Bring a bottle - ur doin' it wrong.

Are all your Mom's friends that cheeky? There is probably a novella in these dinners if you have the time. That is the kind of by-play that I never seem to notice and then am left wondering where the acrimony comes from.

Well, there was the cheeky one who told another guest that she was coming on the day.
Said guest then called Mum, because she knew Mum didn't know.
And the other cheeky guest who called mid-afternoon to say she was bringing another colleague.

I'm not much on formality, but this had been arranged over a month ago, so two new guests were a bit of a surprise.
Imagine if Mum had been cooking something number-specific, like... steak I suppose, or lobster (unlikely, but you know what I mean). She'd have had to rush out last miniute to buy more.

Thing is, the group all used to work together, so they aren't as well attuned as people who come together as friends because they are similar. Conversely, this allows them to accept eachother's foibles more easily, and not take too much offence.

Email from Kohl's: Extra 20% off, because Christmas only comes once a year.

Only? Once a year is way too damn much, if you ask me, especially since a year now goes by in about a month and a half, to us old folks.

I think every 5 years would be nice. ;)

Every 5 years might be about right.

The out-years would fit right in with how often I remember the birthdays of my wife and 3 daughters.

USA Today
Cathy Lynn Grossman
12/27/11
President Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton are the nation's
most-admired man and woman — again — in the annual USA TODAY/Gallup Poll.

GBW is still on the list ???

Is there a most hated list, because I'd bet it would break out about the same.

The last sitting presidents always seem to be on those lists.

Oh, and USA TODAY is a Gannett-owned biased piece of crap. I used to work for them. (cheapshot, but it felt good)

A student who lost their FA here due to non-attendance and general tomfoolery and incompetence, filled out a form to cancel their aid so they could "Unattend another school." Have at it, sweet cheeks. See you in a year, appeal in hand.

:lol:

The dream I just woke up from..it was in a hospital and I was someone of importance.

Then this girl came with two round holes in her hand and a bit of sinew poking out. i was explaining that it looked like a fish had been tapping at the wound...when I looked down at my own hand and saw what looked like the baby turtle from finding nemo trying to sink into my skin..then it did and was visible under the surface. I grabbed a bottle of cleaner and tipped it over the bump and the turtle split the skin and came out..followed by a toadfish.

Woah!

My cow orker is so cute and funny. She's fairly new. I adore her.

We were talking this morning about students and parents, and she said that she's not saving money for her kids' college, she's saving for their therapy.

She has a sense of humor like mine. :)

The Mexican restaurant near my house has put up the following on their marquee:

We wish you the best of luck with your New Year's resolution... and we'll see you in about 3 weeks.

hahaha thats awesome, Clod.

Oregon has a few political candidates with some weird ideas.
Allan Alley has run unsuccessfully for State Treasurer and Governor,
and is now the head of the State's Republican Party.

The Oregonian
Jeff Mapes
1/23/12

Oregon Republican chairman comes up with a new elephant logo
It almost looks like the Republicans are wanting to screw Oregon (again) :rolleyes:

A new logo?! Brilliant! That's EXACTLY what the republican party needs. That wins my vote. These people are going places, I tell you.

Today's mild amusement is courtesy of Hopelessly Lost Freshers, inc.

On my way to a class, I saw a young woman, African origin (which here means probably a recent migrant/refugee from South Sudan), papers in hand, near the library, looking totaly lost.

Can I help you?

Um, yeah, I need to find ... um Janet ... something ... do you know her?

Sorry, no. Do you know the room number?

Err, yeah ... three two something.

Which building?

[Blank look]

Oh.

So I took her into the library and walked her to the enrollment support section. I hope they helped her.

My freshman year roomie found the right room number, in the wrong building. She wondered why they would hold class in a utility closet.

A friend of mine has a job managing in a liquor store.

Cue easy joke.

Candy a distant second...

Actually right next door would be a great place to open a candy store. I bet you'd get enough traffic coming in for the joke that you'd make a nice living.

That would assume people have widely read, understood, and remembered the olde Ogden Nash rhyme.

2nd Choice Fuck'er



that's the easy joke.

I thought it was part of our collective unconscious by now.

Here's an article about the alignment of planets over the next few days.
But that's not what tickled me. It's the signs-of-the-times inside the video.

Remember when students were taught that the eye is like a camera,
with a lens in front and the film in the back part records the picture ?
Kodak is in bankruptcy and film is no longer relevant.

In this video, the eye is "... like a digital camera ..."

Physorg.com
February 20, 2012
Dr. Tony Phillips

Cold and spellbinding: An alignment of planets in the sunset sky

I do like how the eye is like a camera, digital or otherwise, as though the eye came after the camera.

i got sniped today! there was no way to avoid it!! they had the entrances and exits totally covered with at least 4 on each side!! i avoided their assault on the way in but on the way out i not only got hit from the left, i got caught up in a nasty crossfire from the right!! yes. i bought girl scout cookies at kroger today.

The little buggers were at the swim meet last weekend and are now here at the Hockey rink DO NOT WANT!

Dude, I thought you liked lesbians. If you don't support girl scouts where will tomorrow's lesbians come from?

Girl scouts.

They know where you live.

They know how to make fire.


Buy the damn cookies.

true true. but i like the str8 ones too!

oh lawd! i may not sleep tonight!

give in. i am your father luke!

my father was called fred.....

Right.

That's what he said.

Ga-roan.

(Tho actually I thought it was v. Cute)

right said fred

The nun fainted.

Laughter on five...four... three... ... ...

Sarah Palin can't catch a break anymore
... anything happening Wasila comes back to her.

death+taxes
Liza Eckert
2/28/12

Sarah Palin’s hometown is no fan of vaginas

Attachment 37568

It looks more like someone shoved a giant Titleist in there and left a hand print.

^^^WHS^^^

Firstly, that don't look nothing like my vaj.
Secondly, what's wrong with a bit of snatch anyway, it's the closest many of those boys will come in years.

Not to a sixteen year old, it doesn't.

From what we've seen the teenage boys in Wasila do okay, except for that no birth control thing.

Sorry, I meant titlist

I am mildly amused (and also mildly irritated) by the situation with my car.

I took it in for its 200,000km service. All fluids and oils changed, plugs, filters etc etc, plus replace the water pump and the timing belt, certain other timing related thingies. This is looking at being in the $1500 range, but I knew that before I bought this car.

I took it in on Wednesday, planning to get it late Thursday.

Wednesday was one of the wettest days here in ages. The water got into the power circuits at the mechanics, and took out the power to the hoist.

The one my car was one.

While my car was six feet in the air.

And it won't come down without power.

Ah. Slight delay.

So it is now Friday and the hoist is working (as is the mechanic) but I wish my car was back already. Meh.

I was mildly amused today when I heard the term Dumbicide used to describe Darwin Award-like deaths......

WHERE IS YOUR PUNY DROUGHT NOW?!

Did you know it's not possible to stick your tongue out and breath fast at the same time?

It is if you do it while licking the tip of your elbow

Friend of mine in high school would tell girls "Chicks can touch the tips of their elbows behind their back."

And when they tried it, they didn't realize they would stick their boobs way way out; and he would say "Oh stop bragging!"

:p:

Actually this amused me a LOT today.
And is still raising a chuckle as I rehash it.

After THRASS the children focus on a certain phoneme, and Mrs M writes words up on the board. When I took phonics in Reception I played "Trash or Treasure" and this is similar. Today the phoneme was qu. The sequence as I remember it was queen, quep, quiet... and then a nonsense word. But it wasn't actually a nonsense word. She wrote quim on the board.

I immediately looked over at Mrs J on the other side of the class with big alarmed eyes. She looked back with the same. We looked at Mrs M who was happily sounding out quim and obviously none the wiser. At that point we both got the snorts and had to look away from the board and eachother. By this point it was decided it was a nonsense word and it was all done. Oh, except Luke shot his hand up and said, "No it isn't, I know what it means!" At which point a coughing fit necessitated my exit to the staff room to get a glass of water.

Of course Luke didn't know what we knew at all, he had it mixed up with another word.

Oh my. That coughing fit brought tears to my eyes. Priceless.
I can't wait till we do words starting with cu.

Well, you learn something new every couple of minutes in the Cellar.

What is quep?

According to Urban Dictionary it means fuck!
I will not swear hand on heart that she used that word.

Why all of a sudden
is everyone writing posts
like they're writing pomes?

Maybe they think
they're using an old typewriter
and have to return the carriage before
it runs out
of room.

The style, while annoying,
is most certainly contagious.
Everybody's doing it!
Join the
fun.