Ortho, I'm sorry that you feel bad about your hair. I, like others, think you look absolutely cute with your short. However, if you feel awful with your short hair, by all means wear a wig if that'll make you feel happier. Like I always say, what's important is how you feel and not what others think, even if it's a positive opinion. Wear that wig and be happy. :)

How often do you actually use the term Inuit? Just curious, like.

I've met a few part-Eskimos, but never a part-Inuit. Well never one that introduced themselves as such, anyway.

For some reason, the fact that they're 'not really Eskimos but rather Inuit' has properly taken hold over here. Using the word Eskimo instead of Inuit kind of marks someone out as being a bit old fashioned and unaware.

I have no idea why this is, given we're not exactly overflowing with people of Inuit descent, but I would feel slightly uncomfortable with the word Eskimo. It may be to do with the growing cultural awareness of our imperialist past.

From Big Sarge's wallet to British Imperialism as it relates to Eskimo in less than 20 posts ... :lol:

:lol: I very nearly wrote, "Not that I've met any"!
Perhaps it's because of a history of British Polar expeditions...?
Although my interest lies more in the uninhabited Antarctic.

I'd be stumped as to whether Pygmy is cuturally acceptable for example, because it's not something I have read up on..

:eyebrow: :lol:

;)
Although the "up" wasn't intentional.

Canadians only use the term Inuit or Inuktitut because the Canadian indigenous arctic peoples all fall within that group. I gather that Americans use the term 'Eskimo' because the Yupik, who are one of the indigenous groups in Alaska, don't identify as Inuit. The broader term is therefore used.

Heh... You give us waaaay too much credit, ortho. I don't know a single American who knows those tribal nuances, or even that there's anything other than Inuit. We say "Eskimo" because that's what our parents and grandparents said.

Meanwhile, my kids have to keep reminding me that their seated position is called "criss cross applesauce," not "Indian style." Someday I will be their old racist relative, and they'll apologize for me by saying, "she grew up in a different world, you know?"

hehehe. We all end up out of date eventually:P

I still occasionally have to stop myself saying 'halfcaste' instead of mixed race, because that's what we said when I was growing up.

Likewise 'gypped' for ripped off, which I still use sometimes without thinking.

Now if we can get those Hispanics and Latinos to stop calling us "Gringos"

hehehehehe. Indeed.

For real??

Well, I understand phasing out "Indian style", but what's wrong with "cross-legged"? Why not "lotus position". (Hm, actually, I can see why not, because yoga = SATANISM ... In some states.)

But ... "applesauce"? Uh?

Because it's a more acceptable rhyme for kids than: "Criss, Cross, Show your moss"
:bolt:

I wasn't sure what thread to put this in, mainly because I'm half pissed off and half upset. Not sure if I'm sliding into a depression or what, but I just don't feel good about anything much lately. I'm irritated with my husband. He just doesn't seem to get that he's required to actually participate in the family that he wanted to have. Also, that I need some time to myself now and then, and a bit more often than one night out with friends in about 6 months. I'm am tired and worn out. I've been pretty sick for ages and I am not getting the support I need.

I'm just sick and tired of pretty much everything right now. Life is not good. :(

eta: You don't have to say anything. I just need to vent a bit or I'm going to go ape shit on someone soon.

I can relate-my husband works for 'the phone company' and works 6, 8 days in a row with 1 off. I've had to do all the yard work and house work by myself, plus meals, groceries etc. I'm glad its summer, or I'd be in a depression also. When he's off he's in bed, or running around to the bank doing his own business. There's lots of stress there because we don't get to sit down together and talk, or have a meal because he's on the road. I try and see the good in all this; I can do what I want when I want to do it, I can eat kd whenever, play the stereo full blast, talk on the phone with my friends for hours, take a nap without being disturbed. Yet it does get lonely having only the 2 cats to talk to.

We have 4 kids lime. Thats my biggest gripe, and he spends all his spare time fishing, while i stay home with the kids.

I've just about had enough to be honest.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my diagnostic mammogram and biopsy. Even though I got the pathology results on August 2, July 31 was the day I really knew. It was unmistakeable on imaging. I didn't think I'd care, other than to give a fist pump for getting through the year ... but I'm surprised at how low I feel tonight.

No wonder ortho. Its not like you're celebrating something good is it? Maybe better to focus on something else instead?

Yes, I thought that being on Mackinac Island would be a great diversion, and it is definitely beautiful. It's just tonight ... I'm sure I'll do better tomorrow.

I'm sorry things are tough at home, Ali. I hope your husband has an 'ah ha!' moment sooner rather than later.

just ignore it the best you can. Not all anniversaries need noting or celebrating. acknowledge the shittiness when it creeps up, thenremember the "out and clear" and carry on as normal. Maybe take a copy of your recent NFSAM*/whatever results to the bathroom mirror as a reminder that it's done and not worth losing a day moping over.

*Not Fucking Sick Any More

Hmm....I must seem racist as heck. Don't see what's wrong with the term "Indian style." But I've been hearing and using the term lotus style more often these days. By the way, yoga = satanism???!!!???? For real???????????? I need to to follow current events more. :rolleyes:

Gotta have a Plan B. When we're on the outs, I call a couple of girlfriends and we hash out what we're going to do. then I tell the man when I'm going, and with whom. Say what you mean-mean what you say-but don't be mean when you say it. Explain that 'this is my time' Use your imagination, what would make you feel yourself again? Campouts? Bungee jumping? Rock climbing? Laying about on a beach somewhere... the world is your oyster! The house won't fall apart with you gone a couple of days, and your man will have his chance to grow closer to his kids-everybody wins

All good in theory lime, but my real life is not like that. I will work it out. As i said, i just need to vent for now.

You can dump on me, Ali. Really, I can take it. ;)

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!
XoB can take a dump.

You know Bruce, i once had a guy ask me to pee on him and said no, and i didnt even like him as much as i like you. ;)

Heh heh heh. :smack:

I'm pretty sure Bruce can take the piss, too. ;)

The upsetting you thread is not usually this amusing.

Walking Carrot about an hour ago, I'd stopped at the kerb, waiting to cross the road, with carrot sitting next to me, and a car went past. A lad in his early 20s or thereabouts, stuck his head through the window and yelled at me in an angry tone: whos fucking walking who?

I smiled first, because people have said that to me before when Carrot's been pulling and it's a bit of a common joke amongst dogwalkers.

It was a second or so later i realised he'd just called me a dog.

Ffs. I'm old enough to be that lad's mum.

Just getting over a really bad eczema flare and today was first day in weeks I was feeling quite happy about how I look.

Sorry Dana. :( People are horrible.

Oh Dana, some people don't like seeing happy people (even when your 'happy' is hanging by a thread anyway) and like to derail you. Similar thing happened to me the other day. It's bitter jealousy, pure and simple.

thougI tend to think he may have really just been commenting on the dog's rambunctious nature.

you are awesomdon't let assholes derail you. nt

i

His comment reveals everything about him, and nothing about you. Pity him. The pain he must feel inside that he's going around lashing out at complete strangers for no reason. Lashing out from the safety of his moving car as he drives away. He's a worthless coward. Don't let somebody that pathetic into your head. Give his words no value. We know you are awesome. You know you're awesome. That's all that matters.

fuck.

... and then picture him with his head out the window, looking back at you laughing his last as the driver clips the apex of the next turn and splashes his head against the telephone pole like a summer squash against a cricket bat.

at least he died happy.

this is what I really think though.

1) Put Carrot on your left side wrap his lead around your bum and hold the lead in your right hand. Walk... Whenever he pulls stop walking. Start again telling him to heel. Every time he pulls stop walking. He will get the picture.

2) That idiot probably meant no such thing. How could he? You are fabulous! :)

It's no more personal than if you were the cashier in a bank when he pointed a gun at you and said "put all the cash in the bag, bitch". Not worth your time to pity. Also not worth dwelling over. Easier said than done.

I don't think you do know you're awesome. If you did, it wouldn't have bothered you so much. But Carrot knows you are. and Sundae and Limey and J and the entire interwebs........ eventually we will tell you often enough that you might start to believe it.

I thought you preferred dogs to humans anyway? ;)

The VA is upsetting me today. I have been waiting for a year for my decision, they keep telling me that it only takes 270 days. When I tell them how long it has taken they say that due to the sequester things are running slow. I have tried to call them every day for the last week, and after going thru thier automated system they tell me to call back after hours and set up a time for them to call me back. They never call. And I waste my time waiting for the idiots to call me back. FUCK THE GOVERNMENT!!!

Thanks guys. You made me feel much better. Doesn't usually bother me when random strangers call me a dog or an ugly bitch - usually I just laugh it off. It was just the timing of it that made this one get to me I think. I'd only just got my head out of the eczema blues.

maybe he'd just been dumped by his girlfriend eh? :p

Re: Carrot's rambuctious nature (omg love that word, I shall make an effort to use it more often ;p) - he wasn't pulling at all, that's how I know it wasn't meant in that way (well, that and the expression of disgust on the lad's face and the aggressive tone of his voice) he was sat quietly at my side as we waited to cross the road.

He doesn't often pull on the lead, actually. There's a handful of specific places and contexts where he'll pull, but he walks beautifully on the lead most of the time. But, yeah, 'Vana, that's exactly the method to do it. Though, it never got through to Pilau. he only stopped pulling the lead when he got too old and frail to do so...mind you he had problems with the outdoors. Pulled so much and so consistently that he did my elbow in ;p Hence I was frikkin determined we would not be having a repeat of that problem with Carrotchops :)

That totally fucking sucks, fargon. I saw a thing on the Daily Show about the delays in VA claims and I was quite shocked. They were saying there are basically piles and piles of paper claims unprocessed and two different computer systems that can't talk to each other. Is your claim snarled up in that nightmare?

crossing fingers and toes they sort it out soon.

Fargon, maybe we need you vets to get booths next to the military recruiters at high schools across the country. They give their sales pitch and then you tell the kids what to expect after they serve... bastards.

the backlog of paper claims is so physically vast that it threatens the structure of the warehouses that store them.

There is more work to be done than can be done by the people and resources that have been allocated to it by those that make such decisions.

These priorities reflect the influence of the constituents. BY THEIR ACTIONS, it is clear to me, despite their cries to the contrary, that our veterans matter little to the decision makers in our government. fucking disgusting.

granted, the problem is enormous. but so are the stakes for each individual, like fargon.

it pisses me off.

Soldiers matter a great deal. But former soldiers seemingly matter very little.

Fargon,
My VA claim was opened in Sep of 2008. My deployment in 2009 caused my claim to be closed. It was reopened in July of 2012 and I can't see the end of the tunnel yet. My meds are routinely late or not mailed at all. Now they are billing me for office visits & meds.

The only way to fix this is to go a couple of times a month to the regional office handling your claim and speak with a representative. Check your ebenefits status online daily. Finally contact your congressman to have your claim followed up.

Good luck. It is a long road.

Christ, it shouldn't be so difficult.

Can you say? Thanks for affirmative action.

Dana and fargon, I'm sorry I missed your posts - have been traveling since early this morning. Glad you're feeling better, Dana - what a pathetic specimen of humanity that guy is. And, fargon - I can't believe the way vets are treated, with all the pride and hoopla and support for the military - this is horrible. I feel terrible for you and for Sarge, and others in the same situation.

Got a phone call early this morning from my stepson. Turns out his wife was at a meeting for a group she volunteer for and after the meeting she and some others decided to grab a bite and continue discussing some issues. After the meal she and another lady were on their way out to their cars and talking as they got ready to depart. A car pulled up with 3-4 guys, the drive asked for directions. My daughter in law who is very helpful walked towards the car to help and that is when the driver pulled out a pistol and robbed both of them! Drove off with their purses.

She was pretty shook up and after calling her husband (luckily had her phone and keys in her pocket) they dealt with the police, etc. The police said there had been 3 other stickups in the area, probably the same guys and they had fired a shot at one woman who ran, missed her but still!

Crazy world.

ho-lee crapola.

I'm glad she's safe. there's no rational defense against an ambush robbery like this. I'm glad she's safe, and sorry about her losses and her psychic injuries. damn.

Ok, "thanks for affirmative action".

but I don't understand why that's pertinent.

Whoa! Glad to hear she's safe -- how frightening!

I'm so glad they just took the purses and left. How terrifying!

Horrible. I'm glad they're safe, chris.

Good move, phone and keys in pocket, C-4 and remote receiver in purse. :reaper:

This issues is half way between upsetting me and pissing me off.

As you know, Maverick has been seeing the same girl for a year or so now, and everything was pretty hunky dory till a couple of months ago. She has some issues from her past which she really needs to address, and these issues lead to some pretty obsessive and clingy behaviour towards Mav.

Now, this girl is Mav's first 'real' girlfriend. Things got pretty serious pretty quickly between them, and basically she's a nice girl, but she's just not that much of a thinker. Education is not high on her list of things to do. I've tried every way I can think of to encourage her to get the help she needs in the form of counselling and possibly medication, but there's only so much I can do and the situation was getting a bit beyond what I considered my realm of responsibility, so I went to her father with it all. Seemingly he was on board and felt that the suggestions I had were pertinent and that he'd take over and I wouldn't have to worry any more.

Anyway, that has not been the case, and yesterday (which happened to be her 18th birthday) things came to a head and she and I had quite an argument. she started yelling at me and I told her to leave the house if she couldn't address me in a respectful manner. She said that she and Mav would be fine if everyone would just leave them alone, which speaks to the heart of the issue. Mav has basically cut himself off from all his friends from school and sport. The only person he actually spends time with is her. He's fallen behind in some of his schooling and is pretty much becoming someone I don't actually like very much. So, I told them no more seeing each other during the week. she can come over one night for dinner, but needs to be gone by 9pm. They can spend time together on the weekends like normal young couples, but they both need to start spending time following their own interests without having to do everything together.

Of course, now I am the enemy as far as she's concerned and Mav is stuck in between her and the rest of his family.

My vision here is that she gets her shit together and everyone can be happy again, or she continues on the same way until eventually she loses hiim or we do. My only consolation in it is that I hope Mav will wake up to what's going on here before she ends up pregnant, cause that's my greatest fear. That he's going to tied to a woman who is lovely as long as she's getting everything her own way, but if she doesn't, she turns into a bunny boiler.

Scary days ahead. :(

Ouch. Thats a difficult one to deal with. Hope it works out, honey.

Ah Ali. Daughters or sons it's young pregnancies that many parents fear.
At least forward-thinking parents.

I can't imagine ever rowing with any of my teen BF's Mums. Good FSM, the only one who wouldn't have lamped me one was so genteel that I think she peed rosewater.

The only thing which can't be changed is what you fear - a baby at this age.
And yes of course I get that because we went through it all with Abs. Three times if you count the twins as two.
Anything else can be resolved in time. Education can be picked up (many mature students here), family relationships can be rebuilt, even a prison sentence isn't actually a death sentence - well, not in Aus.
It must be bloody hard to live through though. Seeing it from the outside doesn't take into account any of your emotions.

All I can suggest is to remember she is still a child in some ways.
Because she is young and because she has emotional/ mental health (?) issues.

Good luck.

I know it's so hard when you have years more experience than either of them, and you can see young people making mistakes that are so easy to fix if only they would listen. On the other hand, I would really encourage you not to burn bridges or make ultimatums. She's technically an adult, and your ability to control either of them is rapidly dwindling.

Maybe not a pleasant thing to think about, but this girl might not only end up having your first grandchild, but perhaps being your daughter-in-law as well. I know for sure my mother-in-law regrets a lot of things she said to me before she realized I'd be a permanent fixture in her life.

Well, the main thing I'm trying to do is advocate for Mav. He actually wants more time to himself, but he doesn't speak up for himself because she goes off her tree when he suggests she not come over etc. By 'off her tree' I mean she cries and yells and accuses him of not loving her etc.

Anyway, I've been telling mav for some time now that he needs to grow a set of balls and tell her how it is for him. I think he's finally realised what a mistake he's made by not doing so. There's a lot of tension between her family and ours now, to the point where Aden is actually looking over his shoulder because he thinks her brothers are going to come beat him up. (Aden and Kate don't see eye to eye on much. Mostly Aden doesn't like how she treats his brother, and Kate hates the fact that Aden stands up to her)

Anyway, I've asked Mav to take some time out over the next week or so and start to really weigh up whether or not this is the sort of relationship/family he wants to be involved with. I've pointed out to him that if she doesn't change her way of thinking, what's he's dealing with now is what he's got to look forward to for the rest of his life with her. I've cautioned him about wearing condoms etc and explained my fears. He's been quite open with me about the fact that he sees my point and agrees with most of what I am saying. Daryl and Aden have both told him what they think too, which has been helpful in some ways. Not so much in others. Basically though, his relationship is affecting the whole family adversely and something has to change. I just hope it's all for the better.

:sniff: A friend had vascular surgery for the second time in so many months. He did not make it through the surgery. He died yesterday. This was not heart surgery they were placing a stent in his back because of circulatory problems in his legs.

This is one of the things people can look forward to if they have been smoking for 30+ years and IMO its so preventable. I will miss him

I am reminded of the old Yul Brenner commercial he did right before he died when he said "Whatever you do don't smoke"

Ah bumage. Sorry. :(