It's amazing that you all can remember your dreams. I almost never remember mine more than five seconds.

Except one.

The Bad Dream terrifies me. It happens to me once or twice a week these days, after a long hiatus. I won't bore you all with the details as the dream is sparse anyway.

I don't normally do dream interpretation as all a dream is is your brain on holiday. But figuring this one is easy. It's rise, retreat and return have coincided with certain events in my life which tell me that the dream is my inner conscience talking to me, warning me of a very real danger which is not tangible yet poses a very real threat to me. Asking for help is right out, because firstly, that help comes with side effects which are unacceptable and second, there is no real help. Put a shrink on the rack for a while and he will eventually admit this.

I beat it once and I will have to try to beat it again, although i don't know if I have the strength to do it again.

You can do it, Pamela.

This is true.

Last night, Ali sent me a care package.
It was supposed to be something mundane - a DVD or a book or something. But as I was unpacking what became a large box there were all sorts of lovely treats in there.

I was living at my parents' house again, and I knew Mum would be so impressed with the beautiful cake (or a cake-stand natch) which I put on the side in the kitchen.

Bruce had delivered it, it turned out. In fact he's brought it all the way himself, because there was a piece of technology in there which was only currently available in Australia, and he and Ali had agreed it was best not to trust the vagaries of Customs (which it turns out Bruce can breeze through in person).

It was a solar battery, which looked like a glass ornament. I seemed to be back in my flat then (albeit a clean and empty one) and said to Bruce, "Well... I suppose I can put it on the windowsill? She probably doesn't realise how little sun we get here..."
I saw from his face that he was quite disappointed in my reaction. Not hurt, just sad that he and Ali had gone to so much trouble, and been so thoughtful, and the first thing I did was look for problems.
So I yapped on and on about how grateful I was, until I saw that was sickening too.

I didn't wake up too guilty though. Although I missed my cake.

They give you energy but you feel like you stumble in accepting it.

This describes my xoB and Ali experience as well

Oh my god.

I read this thing three times, trying to figure out whether Bruce had really flown to the UK or if your bats had flown the bellfry, before I finally realized it was the Cellar Dreamin' thread.

No technically a Dwellar, but Monster's SG.

I was in Leeds Central library, trying to get some information on something. It turned out that SG had taken a gap year to come back to the Mother Country, and she was the one who dealt with my enquiry.

I left as the library was closing, and she called after me on the street. She wanted to thank me for how helpful I'd been (it turned out that I hadn't been making an enquiry after all, I was volunteering there).

I woke up very pleased with myself.

They say one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to help other people. I guess it even works in dreams!

Just woke from a dream featuring Carruthers, even though he didn't actuallly appear in the dream.

An elderly female neighbour had left him an Arts & Crafts style cottage in the small market town he lives in. In the dream it shifted between it being left to him and him just working on it as a favour, but he had some interest in the property at least.

It was a known, but unusual design. Although the two bedrooms were of a decent size, both had hidden panels in the floor and ceiling. If you opened up the panel in the floor it gave you access to a ramp which could be inserted into the ceiling. Another room would then be accessible. In both bedrooms the space you could get into was HUGE - three times the size of the attendant bedroom below.

I don't remember if I was actually supposed to be there, but I was curious because I'd never seen this layout before. Although apparently it's really common in the age and type of house. I fear I was trespassing, because my subsequent actions did not fill me with pride. Carr had left a tidy pile of working clothes/ materials in the smaller of the two "normal" bedrooms. I went through all of his pockets, looking for money and valuables. The lady who had owned the house had South African connections, and I found a 20 rand note screwed up in Carruther's "boiling suit". I knew this was worth about £100 (it's not, for clarity, it's about £1) so I folded it up more neatly and stowed it in my bra.

Woke up feeling quite ashamed.
And also, weirdly believing it was already my birthday and wondering if Mum would cook me breakfast.

Now that was a dream. :)

Yuck.
Dreamed Fargon had died (although in the dream he was referred to by his real name.)

Classic posted the news, but also the fact that Fargon had lost a lot of weight recently. I did the maths - in my dream I was able to do this in my head - and worked out he was six stone when he died. That's 84lbs.
Although it wasn't 84lbs in the dream, so maybe my maths was wrong after all.

I think I'm worrying about Mum's cancer treatment and conflating it with Syc's weight loss (positive) and that of the family friend with cancer (negative.)
Sorry to rope you in too, Fargon.

ETA - just realised why. You have the same first name as the Dad of a friend of mine who has leukemia.

Well I'm glad I didn't die. I could stand to lose some weight.

I can't remember the rest of the dream, but I dreamed of Carruthers in his dressing gown.

Now I know it came from a real-life conversation, about brown dressing gowns making men look like Obi Wan Kenobi, and from when I was with Dani buying her "Jedi" dressing gown. But in the dream he was stood at the top of the stairs, and the light shining behind him made him look very much like a Jedi Knight.

Oh - it wasn't some sort of ratty old brown towelling robe either. Even though I "knew" it was only his dressing gown, it was a full-on costume with all the layers and the belt and everything.

I didn't see his light-saber though.

[ETA - I'm sure it translates anyway, but I understand the more common term in Merkin may be "bathrobe"]

Yes we say "Bathrobe" in America.

Carruthers on my mind again!

Last night I dreamed I'd opted into a Goverment scheme for people who had mental health/ addiction issues currently or in the past. It was called a One Way card, (it was pink, FTR) and you received more benefits if you agreed to have your payments made to it.

It could only be used for food, but if you needed to access your money for another reason (I assume paying bills?!) you could do so if it was signed off by your GP or a religious minister.

I was trying to talk Carruthers into getting a pretendy certification so he could sign purchases off for me. Like a mail-order degree, not illegal, but not really valid either. For some reason he was protesting. Must have gone against his Jedi ideals or something.