The Cellar - Liver and Cherry

Thanks to everyone.
Communication here is difficult and limited, and I'll admit after a day of sessions and soul-searching I am often not in the mood, even if I do have the opportunity.

Money is still an issue, as ever as always, even though I anticipated it not being, what with almost everything provided. Unfortunately going home every weekend for post and bits and bats I forgot takes 1/4 automatically from the pot. I've also had to replace things I thought were okay but weren't, like trainers for the gym and a new swimsuit. And to supplement my food (see below - that stops this week) and then my bank has just taken £28 of my £17 per week allowance.

BUT I am working with a trainee social worker so that when I walk out of here I no longer have to fear bailiffs or unexpected bills or anything being cut off (like fingers). Which is worth a lot.
Anyway as soon as I can get some stamps I'll send some more postcards out.

Morning is breakfast, chores, sessions until lunchtime.
Lunch
Afternoon sessions then dinner, homework and once a week a "social evening" which is 50p but that pays for prizes.
The food is very stodgy, and comes in enormous quantities. No point in saving some for the next day, as there will be just as much, and no result to request for smaller portions. There is also no attempt at nutrition; lunch today was a white floury bap with bacon. No fibre, fruit, vegetables etc. None of my favourite grains, all rice and pasta are white, few spices etc.

We often get highly discounted food on its sell-by date from a local cash & carry, but this is mostly sweet items or things like trays of sandwiches which arrive after dinner. Occasional fruit bowls which cannot be relied on. So I've been trying to buy my own fruit, but I can only do this from the market once a week (it closes before I can leave late afternoon) and the closest supermarket open late Mon-Fri only sells large packs of what I like - not a bargain.

Anyway. Enough with the moaning.
Free hot water, laundry (inc detergent), drying, good showers, toilet paper (I was half-inching it from pubs before I came in here), two hours gym a week and at least three weekends out of four off, except for homework. The other weekend will include a Saturday or Sunday in the kitchen, which eats up the best part of four hours in the middle of the day and an hour from 16.30.

As you can see from the photos (thanks Limey) I have a decent room. I got the smallest one when I first came off detox, so was offered this one as soon as it was free. Yay!

The work is hard. Sometimes it cuts to the bone and makes me cry all evening. Sometimes it's dull. Sometimes the carb dip after lunch makes even an interesting session hard to keep my eyes open. I'm catatonic.

Sleeping well generally, although still extremely anxious. But I can sleep from 21.30 until 06.50 every night.
Getting fat as a pig by gomming down the sweet food I now crave to replace the alcohol (see above for "trying to replace with fruit") Am making another concerted effort this week. Still, I've lost weight before. I haven't been sober this long for a while.

Miss you all.
Please come as private patients and give me some normal people to interact with. Ones who don't chain-smoke or crunch sweets constantly at least.