Why is George W. Bush's semen white and his urine yellow?

So he can tell if he's coming or going.

Men's underwear come with built-in indicators.

Brown on the back: CHANGE
Yellow on the front: CHECK BACK
Pink: NEVER MIND

Subject: FW: HOT AIR BALLOON EXPERIENCE


A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much
help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

Very good. I'll rip and use that today. thnx.

Oh classic classic classic...that is the worst recycled really old joke rendition I've ever read. It doesn't even make sense. ;)

sorry mom sent it to me and thought.... yeh she did that thinkin thing again. IT was late and I was tired and and and...

Awww, it's alright...just giving you the business. [/beavercleaver]

You're a beaver cleaver? :eek:

No, that's you. They don't call you Hatchet Cock for nothing.

....oooohhhh.... she said hatchet.

Well, you need the right tool if you"re going for a nice piece of ax.

I wish I could talk Shaw into harvesting *my* wood.

Little Johnny walked in on his Mom in the shower. She saw that Johnny was staring at her vagina and said "Uh...that's where your father accidentally hit me with the hatchet."

Little Johnny said "Gee, he got ya right in the cunt didn't he?"

:lol2:

Sort of a Shaw Wood Forest, huh?