That sucks. You have every right to be pissed off and upset.

That said - try your best not to let that be the takeaway. It was still your goodbye - because it just was - regardless of who paid for what. Don't let them have this. This is yours and his and they don't get to take it from you just because they paid a cheque.

payment is being refused/returned by venue (donor identity unofficially confirmed) Mulled it over with friends, don't need to give this manipulative asshole any wiggle room to violate my privacy or independence or invade my life etc. fixed. And feel so much better so it was the right thing.

Shame, his wife is lovely. But weak. And apparently I can't have one without the other.

You did what you needed to do for your peace of mind. That's more important than any feelings he may have on the subject.

This. So much this.

Sent by magick

You know when you hear that someone's severe mental health issues "fell through the cracks in the system?"

Don't believe it. There is no system. It's all one giant crack.

Families can pay between $1500-$5500 per week for moderate-to-great inpatient treatment--forever--or individuals can be locked up in abhorrent public hospital conditions for a max of 10-14 days before they are sent out the door again, whether or not they are better. Permanent institutionalization almost always has to be associated with a prison sentence.

'care in the community' is a fine idea if the funding and support services are there to provide the care part of that equation.

Nobody wants institutionalization as a response to mental illness anymore - but leaving them to cope on their own and occasionally hospitalisng them when the situation becomes dangerous is not the answer.

No little green flake in m'noodles.

Funny retort embedded; but, it's not for the squeamish:

Congratulations, you've stopped picking your nose while eating!

Oh, there's the flake, right there!

Stupid finance things and being alone.

:comfort:

:grouphug:

wss

*hugs*

Too much shit hitting too many fans.
1 - Oops I forgot to save for my taxes. I've been debt free for several years so having to make a payment plan with the taxman has been underlying background stress for a few months. But I'm paying it down.
2 - Husband is having major upsets over a stoopit financial clerical error which the stoopit clerk lied to him about, has confessed to management has not/will not apologise to husband, management are trying to make amends by sending out an interim cheque (ffs why not a transfer??) which has now had to be written and signed twice and there's still no sign of it at our house. All of this winds husband up a notch more and I'm repeatedly having to scrape him off the ceiling/pick him up off the floor.
3 - Our mobile holiday accommodation has sprung a leak and we're going away in it today. I was wondering how to hide this fact from husband as he doesn't need more stress but in the end confessed it to him as a far bigger piece of shit just hit a much bigger fan and I needed to offload some stress. We have high hopes of a Duct Tape fix for the weekend at least.
4 - The manager of a tiny charity facility for which I am chair of the board has made a $30,000 hole in the finances. Currently it is not clear if this is malice or illness. Hole = approx. 40% of turnover. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

jebus...

I feel you, anon. I swear to God, everyone I know's life is just going to utter hell right now. Hope things get better soon.

Husband has doc appointment to be signed off work for stress. Still no check in the mail. Big financial mess seems more likely to have been caused by illness than malice. It's raining. We have Duct Tape ....

oh man :( I'm sorry

"... videos gay..."

No, thanks though.

That sounds a very stressful situation anon - hope the duct tape works.

Dear anon

sorry to hear about your troubles, truly I am.

I wish to weigh in regarding the leak / camping / getting the fuck out of dodge.

A leaky domicile, camper, caravan, tent, etc. *s u c k s*. No question. I wear a necklace with a pendant I got at the end of The. Most. Epically. Rainy. Camping. Trip. Evar. Yeah, no, really. It was wet when we left the parking lot, wet all the way there, wet on the hike to the campsite, wet all night, wet all the way home. It was the only camping trip I ever went on in twenty years of camping with the Scout Troop that was cut short due to weather.

It's now regarded as a badge of honor, "Oh, you were on the trip to Shi-Shi Beach?! Duuuuude!" A brotherhood, albeit a wet one, was forged.

I don't know. I've been wet on outdoor adventures. Mostly it sucks. Sometimes, good can come of it. I hope you can use the time, and duct tape, to escape the rest of the shit-splattering "back home". Use the time away for what it can give you, even if it's wet.

I hope for the best for you, truly I do.

True dat. I hate drama.

Anon - is this tent-like portable habitation or aluminum? If aluminum, you might try epoxy to plug things up.

FLEX-SEAL!

We're back. Although there was a little rain the accommodation didn't leak and we have helpful suggestions to add to the pile offered by Dwellars. We can solve that one moving forwards and most importantly our weekend which we desperately needed was great!
Husband is still being jerked around. I'm still scraping him off the ceiling/floor alternately.
The financial mess is more like $10,000 and definitely illness related. After a meeting of trustees we have a plan that involves everything from dumpster-diving to massive anonymous donations, and a lot of hard work. Also a plan to help the employee concerned. Fingers crossed everyone!

I'm glad you got away!

More fucking cancer.

As I sat at the score table at the water polo tournament we were hosting, missing beest, just after a co-team-parent who is living with brain cancer (and also happens to have been beest's GP) dropped of some refreshments for us scorers, another co-team-parent was pushed past the table in a wheelchair. I was shocked. More brain cancer. diagnosed just before beest's death, so no-one wanted to tell me at the time and it just kind of slipped along..... She has lost the use of one arm and is very weak from radiation and chemo an has more to go... What in the fucking fuck? :cry:

:(

In 2018, an estimated 1,735,350 new cases of cancer will be diagnosed in the United States and 609,640 people will die from the disease.

Fuck cancer. That is all.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Sorry monster

:(

Dittoes.

My neighbor problems are coming to a head. Last weekend the problem form across the hall beat up my friend and partner because he was drunk and belligerent. He is drunk and belligerent every weekend, but last weekend was the worst in a while. We are all very friendly around here, and usually get along very well. Saturday morning several people from the building go to breakfast including the problem, he's sober at this point. about 2 hours later he is 3 screwdrivers and at least that many beers in and is getting outrageous with all the women around him. they leave on the boat to come back to the apartments and drop the problem off, he refuses to get out of the boat. Fast forward a couple of hours and there are cops and first responders all over the place. And I can't go outside and smoke a bowl. I'm going to put up a face book link to tell the story. https://www.facebook.com/chad.christ...action_generic

Have to belong to facefuck.

That sux, fuck fakebook. I'll figure out a way to copy and paste it.

Here is the story I was talking about.
If anybody knows my brother in last 5 years, they know that he has been doing great, and has been doing everything in his power to be there for his kids, and for his name to be slandered all over the new like this makes me want to confront every one involved. Karl Kaiser is a drink piece of shit that wsa boligerantly drunk on Saturday, and was kicked off of a boat, Erics boat, earlier that day. Let me rephrase, Karls drunk ass vaolentarily got off the boat, because we kept telling him to act like an adult. He failed to do so, and then got off at Pettibone beach. He [roceeded to get a ride back to the apartment building, where he sat and stewed over it until the boat came back to the dock with my brother and a neighbor in it. As the two went into the buildings, Karl Kaiser went down to the boat, acased criminal damage to property, throwing property into the river, and on the beach. He then took the cooler out of the boat, up to his patio, and dumped all the beverages down the bank, which in my opinion is littering. HE proceeded to take the broken cooler, that he broke, up to the neighbors apartment, where he started a confrentation. the neighbor kept his cool, and told him to go away. the neighbor then went down to look for his sandals that were thrown from the boat, and stolen from another neighbor in the other building, at which Karl came down and started yelling at said neighbor. Karl proceeded to punch the neighbor, who was looking for his stolen sandals, in the face multiple times. The neighbor still kept his cool, and took the blows. By this time Eric iwas till in his apartment using the bathroom. Ericcame back down and Karl was sitting on his patio, when he ran his mouth to Eric once again. Eric was upset about his property being damaged, and his friend being beeat up, with nobody there to help him, so he confronted Karl, at which time the boligerantly drunk Karl Kaiser fell down the rocky embanctment. We have video proof to prove all of this, and it will be leaked out in court, when we go to trial in Erics favor, and proceed to press charges against the alcoholic Karl Kaiser. Anybody that knows Karl witll say the same thing. Hes a drunk asshole. He proves it in public, and all over social media. That is what really happened on Bainbridge last saturday.

Your story upset me, primarily because there's no mention of naked women in it.

Why was that problem person allowed on the boat in the first place?

The problem child ran off all the Naked Women with his drunken bullshit.

And he stole the correct spelling, too! That bastard.

I just lost the diamond out of my engagement ring :( I was lopping branches in the garden without gloves on and I walked away to see if the bike noise in the street heralded the arrival of bikerboy (it didn't), and i touched the ring to align it correctly and it felt wrong ...the diamond (and several tips) were gone. It was tiny and is unfindable. I am the person who can find a needle in a haystack, and take tenacity to a point of absurdity, but I am not even going to try to look for it.

:(

Bright flashlight at night tho? It's worth a shot

Sorry monster.

it is really, really tiny. And the area is grass/weeds, fall leaves/twigs and garden wilderness. The whole ring cost 55 quid about 30 years ago. It's that tiny. I've told Thor he can try with the flashlight at night if he wants (coincidentally I bought new decent flashlight yesterday), but I most likely won't try. It is not going to be found.

...and the ring is destroyed anyway. I've had it retipped several times and it's never looked right. I can't imagine it would even be the same. maybe I'm in shock -my friend remarked I was taking it kind of well, but compared to losing beest earlier this year, it kind of fades into insignificance. It was just a thing. Finding it won't bring him back :( I'm still sad though.

Bought the Walmart MoneyCard, a prepaid Visa debit card. Had some stuff to pay online and figured this was an easy way. They have online activation, go put in the info. It says it "couldn't verify my identity." After looking it up I found that there are multiple causes, but it sure isn't because I don't know my name and social.

So now the card is activated but I can only swipe at POS, no online, no cash withdrawal, and the card can never be reloaded. Call the support line, told there's nothing they can do and the card is completely done once emptied. They have no process whatsoever to deal with what appears to be a common problem, judging by the one-star reviews online. I know Walmart is not exactly top tier but this is just ridiculous.

Learn from my mistake... avoid the Walmart MoneyCard and find a proper prepaid debit card. Look it up real quick and make sure the results aren't full of one-star reviews. Fortunately I can deal with it and get done what I need to, but it is a true pain in the ass. My options are to suck it up and spend the money away at POS swipe, or wait some weeks for them to send me a refund check.

99.9% of the jewelry in the world isn't worth shit compared to the experiences and memories the owner attaches to it. That's the real value of possessions. Even if Thor finds some pieces and you decide not to repair it, having those pieces in the jewelry box can't hurt.

@Clay

can you use it at POS to buy a different card that actually works? I used to sell prepaid Visa cards as part of a fundraiser for my kids' school, and they were only available in some very specific denominations, but we found we could buy a big denomination and use it to get cards in different denominations -e.g. but $100 card and change it into $50 and 2 * $25.

Booth boys went out with the flashlight but didn't find anything. It's really really small.

But you think memories etc are attached to certain things and I have been finding they kind of aren't. Which is a really weird realization for me because I'm a terrible hoarder. I'm sure it's shock and I'll be devastated later when something about the horribleness of it hits me more, but it was just a thing. Finding it won't bring him back. And the memories? They hit you when you least expect it. It's places and events and smells and sounds that do it...

I was at Thunderboy's Water polo tournament a couple of weeks ago on a Friday night. 4pmish game at a rival high school in town. First away game of the season. Sat in the stands (which never happens at the home games because I'm always on the score table), early for the game because I'd dropped him off an hour before the game for warm up... and it dawned on me beest wasn't going to walk in and join me just before the start of the game, straight from work, like he always did on such occasions. He wasn't coming. It was pretty fucking horrible.

Bizarre though tit might seem, if there ever was a best time to lose the stone out of one's engagement ring, this is probably it. Because I have a lot of shit to help me put it in persepctive.

I'm really fucking pissed tho. why didn't I take them off? Well, I was only planning on planting a couple of mini plants I just bought ...but it was a nice evening and the job just kind of escalated.... Why did I take my gloves off which might have protected it? Because the lopper id hard with gloves and not dirty or full of sap. :/

What if? pointless. Beest is till gone. And at least I managed to keep my ring in tact this long. He lost his before we were even married!

Here's a sad pic of the loss: Attachment 64796

...and that might still look bigger that it is ...I have child-sized fingers (diameter-wise, not trump-wise). I had to have the rings sized down because they don't make wedding rings in child sizes. My wedding band is fractionally smaller than a dime

Sorry, monster. If it's shock, well, I hope it stays that way. Otherwise, I commend you for letting it go so gently.

Other options to make it significant in its ongoing-ness: keep the band, replace the stone with one of a different color, reflecting this next stage of your life.

thanks, I think I will replace it, but with another diamond. Just because it's weird not to have it, (I discovered the loss by a habitual repositioning of it and it felt weird) and I'm not good at decisions like that. One of my other thoughts was to find the tiny bit of Topaz beest gave me for our 23rd (and last) wedding anniversary and have that put in, but then I came to my senses. Probably not jewelry grade, what if they fucked it up....etc etc and it's not a very becoming color, either...

You could have the kids decide what to put in, if it's just the deciding part that sucks. But another diamond is perfectly reasonable--it's the symbol, not the specific molecules.

yup.

no to kids deciding, remember Angelina's Jolie's wedding dress? :eek:

They might do OK and pick something like Beest's birthstone.

:lol:

Oh shit.... I should get a googly eye mounted in there.....

Yeah I was thinking about that, I'll give it a try if I need to. I bought a different prepaid debit card that works correctly using more cash. The Walmart card is now my pocket money. :)

@ Mon:

Before I went into buildings claims, one of the most common types of claim I dealt with was lost stones from rings (and lost rings). Even if you'd taken the rings off before doing what you're doing, at some point there's a good chance the stone would just come out at some point. It's the nature of rings.

Just keep in mind, if you get a new stone put in: beest didn't go and buy you the stone, he bought you the ring. All you're doing is replacing a component part.



Not upsetting, so much as unsettling:

Jude flies out to Hanoi in a week's time to start his new job -- He's going to be over there for minimum 1 year, possibly 3-4 if he likes it and they like him.

Now sure, he'll be back in the uk for visits a couple of times a year but still - feels really weird knowing he won't be in the next town anymore.

I've downloaded skype so we can stay in touch, but it's an unsettling thought nonetheless.