If my reluctance came out of being worried about how they perceive me as a person, that might work... I dunno if that sounds like it would work for me, though. Maybe for other people in the same situation.

I do wonder if part of it comes from the fact that acknowledging or "showing" how much work us trans* ladies have to put into feminizing is inherently un-passing and embarrassing. The idea of admitting that my eyebrows aren't naturally femme enough - even though SO MANY other women's aren't either! - is too defeminizing, not in how i'm perceived but in how I feel.

Not offended, mate. I know you're trying to help ;)

Listen sister, if you think all this beauty the rest of us chicks display comes easily, you've got another think coming. lol

That's kinda what I'm saying, though. It doesn't make sense to hold myself to a higher standard of what i'm allowed to do to look how I want to look, but somehow I feel like I have to.

@ Ali - Bwahahahahaaaaaaaa

You're in another world now Ibs. Trust me, most women hold themselves to a higher standard than other women do. Of course, we're all full of shit, but that's how a woman works. Just go with it. ;)

eta: we're just talking about a little wax here anyway. Have you ever noticed how much hair some european women have that needs removing? Trust me, you're nowhere near as hairy as lots of women.

Incidentally, I felt like a dick the first time I decided to get my brows waxed. I thought they'd all be laughing at me because i had no idea how to ask for what I wanted.

Turns out they weren't, but our minds are not very kind to us at times. give it a good slap and get on with it. ;)

eta: if that's part of your problem, I suggest finding a picture of how you want your brows to look and then just give it to the girl and tell her that's what you want. :)

oh jeez. I have NO idea how they should look, either. I was just gonna go in and say make my eyebrows pretty and as feminizing as possible. I dont even know how I'm gonna get my hair cut - im going to go in and ask what they think they can do with it that'll feminize me.

Maybe you could employ a little humour and just walk in and say, "here's my head. Make it look like it belongs to a girl!" :D

I know this isn't exactly a rfn pic, but it is on topic.

What do you think, Ibram? I saw this recently and I thought of you. I found it helpful.
Attachment 37668

Yup. Pretty basic and incomplete but thats the gist of it.

I liked the lines indicating the "location" of each term.

just pluck them Ib. After you shower. take out a few each time until you get the look you want. Never pluck above the brow. Well maybe. but only once you're a pro at the rest of it

Here's a guide

http://www.howtoshapeeyebrows.net/

As for the hair, decide if there are any bits you care about (bangs/no bangs, behind the ear or no, feminine/masculine.......) then tell them "I need something new. this is what I care about, beyond that you're the professional and I trust you". It's worked fine for me and my daughter many times. Mine is usually "I need it shorter, a few bangs, shaped round the ears, no shaving the neckline, no wedges and beyond that be as feminine as you can -maybe textured on top -you make the call on that". I'm so easy ;). And for my (swimmer) daughter it's "make it look as thick and long as you can while still having a "style" -you're the professional, we trust you" It's OK to say these sort of things.

I loved Burlington. I lived there in the early 80s. wow.

Have fun, ibs.

This is how it is in many fields of employment (especially male-dominated ones) for women even now. We have to work harder and be better in order to think we are being seen as "as good as" the guys. Mind you quite often we are held to that standard by our colleagues - and it sucks.
I saw a great 70s US made-for-tv movie about a woman who wanted to be a sports writer but kept getting turned down at interview until she cross-dressed as a man (beard and all): then she got the job of her dreams but had to keep up the pretence. What was very revealing was how being a man made so many more things easier for her - getting attention in any service-giving establishment, walking home late at night etc. You're going to have to give a lot of that up in becoming a woman.

ETA: it looks like Jim's done your right eyebrow for you!