Oh... I forgot. Catholics are the only people who know jackshit about religion.

I always got "stunt your growth" on that one.

Picking your nose will make your face cave in

dirty underwear increases your chances of being involved in an accident.

Excuse me while I change.

Watching too much tv will make your brain rot.

ohhh or the ole...

sitting to close to the tv will make your eyes square.

If you read in the dark with a flashlight you will need glasses.

I have very thick glasses.

we love you very much :sniff:

My dad used to tell me that my real mom was black.

And my finger would get stuck if I picked my nose.

Sort of off the subject, but still funny... My great uncle had a house on the Colorado River. He was a giant of a man with a full head of red hair and tons of old Navy tattoos. When we were very young, one of my cousins asked him how he swam so well. Uncle Red made us promise not to tell and then showed us he had two ship propellers, one tattooed on each butt cheek. Not long after that, I got in trouble for drawing propellers on that cousin with a magic marker. And Uncle Red got in trouble for showing us.

That if I went to college and got a degree I'd have security... YEAH RIGHT...

Now my mom just lies all the time about what things that occured long ago...but I think thats just because she has smoked too much over her lifetime :).

The normal ones like TV messing with your eyes and eating watermelon seeds.
Others about being poor, we were, and hunger being normal.
I have a two year old now and I mess with him sometimes, but usually tell him the truth.

god is comming



I keep waiting. I say he's late. If he does come. I'll say it's about time except it is scary for my kid to hear well all be vaporized into thin air. Maybe like those star trek movies?
* beam me up* Can't we have a brochure manual first?

If you eat while laying down, you will get fat.

If you swallow your gum, it goes into your appendix.

If you swim after you eat, you'll drown.

If you play inside the car, it will explode.

I know there are more - elementary school teachers are full of good lies as well.

Now, I have told my mom some good ones, such as:

Red soda is illegal in Missouri. - she believed that one for a long time. Where I got that from, I don't know, but I went to college in Missouri and it seemed like a good story.

Mom, the new pope is was a nazi, didn't you know that? - she fell for that one too - he was in Hilter Youth, so I wasn't stretching it too far.

They are taking Barney off the air because he's a racist. - She believed that one for about 15 minutes.