Elspode - I agree with everything you are saying here.

She wanted to be loved. She needed to be hated. A terminal situation. By repeatedly creating situations which provoked attacks, she was able to get abuse from her attackers and love from her defenders.

Her last thread (Mari is a jerk) was the final act. She attacks herself to provoke a final outpouring of affection from her defenders, a final death knell from her attackers and depart having set the stage for armageddon between the two groups at her funeral. In a true armageddon, there are no survivors. I think that's how she wanted it. In the end, it was always about Mari and I suspect the thought that the Cellar could get along without her was both unbearable and irresistable and therefore inevitable.

We were all getting played.

You can't get played unless you present the strings for the use of someone else.

I don't feel like I've done that. Do you?

Is Mari a Drama Queen? Nah. But she could easily play one on TV. But then so could I. And I have, I think. I'd have to do an old post search to be sure.

Most of us here on The Cellar have the luxury of being squarely in the Middle Class, warmly rocked in the comfort of our mortgages, car payments and Nine to Fives. Mari has never been part of that, and she's always been pretty square about telling us so.

I've posted openly and honestly about financial troubles...so has UT (remember the divorce/house value situation?). I've talked about being a heart bypass patient who hasn't the sense to stick to a strict diabetic/coronary dietary regeime. I've talked about having my kids running amok, I've written "poetry" about existential/romantic angst...

Why am I not being stretched on the rack the same as Mari? I'm not defending her...I'm asking why the same criteria isn't being appliled to *everyone* who bares their lives in the name of support and Cellar Reality.

I figure she was being about as real as she could be. I'm not sure she was ready to acknowlege that her reality was heavily fabricated not just for our consumption but for her own as well. I'm no good at sifting for the "truth" in situations like this, so I go with my fallback anti-ban position.

I think that people who get banned do it to themselves. I've seen it many times over the years, and I know UT has seen it more than I.

I have to disagree with this one. Yeah, I know...I suck.

I just think it's funnier not to ban; for all of us, in the long run.

Excellent insight. A lot of the above posts are chock-full of insighty-goodness. I see your point, Els, and I, too, have set myself up for Drama Queen Ridicule, told too much about myself, etc. I'm trying hard not to throw stones at Mari right now but she did sort of ask for attacks all the time. Her whole 'poor-me' story is so damn suspect--she claims abject poverty on the one hand and then buys a purebred puppy on the other. She was constantly doing this sort of schizophrenic thing. One second she is starving to death in America, the next she is buying the same brand cigarette as Brangelina and Dave Chappelle. She obviously has a car and a computer AND internet service. So many things just don't add up. Personally, I never did buy her claim to disability, but, as she is so quick to point out, I'm not a doctor or federal judge so what could I possibly know? Well, I know shit when I smell it. She is a con artist but she asks us to overlook that and swallow her BS whole. Didn't Mari's PoorPitiful Me story run in her local paper resulting in huge donations pouring in for her? I recall someone saying that. AND the very simple, heavily documented fact that she claims the Axe Murderer Ex-Boyfriend of hers stole 23,000$--now, come on! Am I supposed to believe that a formerly homeless woman with a crippling disability just happened to save 23,000$ Smells like the good ol' American Charity Spirit bailed her out, doesn't it? Whatever, I say. As so many of the recent nooby Pep Squad have said, "Live and let live!" Eh. It's over-rated.

spode, you keep asking why you aren't subject to the same treatment as she?

I thought we had covered this. here are the reasons:
1. you're telling the truth
2. you're not posting in every thread about how your experience relates to said topic and spinning it in a poor me kind of a way
3. you're a very good writer, and most of your personal posts are compelling.
4. you have no history of lies, plagarism or excessive drama

is that the kind of positive affirmation you seek?

I don't recall ever taking a poke at you, Pat, but apparently you've had some issue with me. I can appreciate that, and understand it. I'm a bit rough at times, and as you are a compassionate sort, I get it that I may have offended your sensibilities. And I actually care about that, and apologize.

It occurs to me that when I roast someone, there is a bit of collateral damage done to those who see some of the 'victim' in themselves. So....i extend the same apology to all of you who I've nicked whilst flaming mari.

I have too short a memory to sustain anonymous feuds online.

$10 says she comes back in a new incarnation from a new IP after her move.

Funner not to ban, Steve, of course, I agree 100%.

Until you are the subject of personal threats. That's not fun at all. I don't play that shit.

Neither do you - your reaction is to stop posting personal information. That's your prerog, but IMO people need to be free to post whatever they like. Without thinking it's gonna come back and bite them in the ass or something.

LJ, I am most definitely *not* aligning myself against you in any way. You know your proclivities and you freely acknowledge them. I am also not seeking any free passes or otherwise looking for positive jerking off.

All I'm attempting to communicate is this: Perhaps Mari has issues, but demonizing her because her issues are *obvious*, instead of well-couched, seems to me to be a bit unfair.

I *know* from poor. I know that it is possible for a person on a limited income to be shit poor, yet be able to indulge themselves on occasion (my son buys a couple of DVD's a month and drinks Pepsi one-liters very freely, but he's on Social Security Disability and receives food stamps...shall we have him investigated?)

One of the hardest things to do in this country is to get on Social Security Disability in the first place. If Mari is on it, it isn't because she's scamming the system. She's on it because she went through a process...a very goddamn strenuous process, satisfying numerous criteria, visiting multiple physicians who evaluated her and signed off on the paperwork. *I've* put my son through this process, and it was a motherfucker. I'm guessing that you haven't had to do this for someone, let alone someone you love. It sucks.

If you're going to criticize Mari for buying premium cigs while on disability, then you need to toss a stone at my kid for his profligacy in the DVD section.

All of this is probably moot, though, as I don't think you buy the notion of her being disabled in the first place, so anything else that follows is a waste of breath.

I would only ask that you put yourself in the place of someone who *does* have a disability, in particular, a cognitive disability, which can be insidious and not altogether obvious at first blush - especially in an online situation.

And, just so I'm not seeming to be altogether biased...Mari could also shoot herself in the feet a bit less from time to time.

UT, what was the threat? I think i missed it? she dared you to ban her, but i don't see a threat. she threatened me personally once via pm, though. i'll see if i can find it.

"ban me so I won't bring up any more uncomfortable things for you", when the opener was illegal matters to start. I don't think she has anything on me and was not that uncomfortable to begin with. But I will not take that kind of threat lightly against myself or anyone else. That shit simply doesn't fly.

Y'all shoulda seen the personal anonymous threats directed against a known Cellarite here a few weeks ago. Turned me pale. Included shots of someone who was beaten up. You didn't see them because I deleted them. More fun NOT to delete them? Shyeah, I GUESS.

Mari posted photos of a beating in order to threaten someone here on The Cellar? Yow. If true, that would certainly change my point of view.