Have you been told today? If not consider it done.

I'll consider "lovers" synonymous with "people you've had sex with".

So that makes.... 7. Lucky number 7!

I don't think its so much cognitive dissonance, as embarassment about that bartender I slept with once back in S.F. in '89 when I was on a convention out in Cali that year. Then there's the guy I met in treatment, etc.,etc. Shit! Have I ever been a slut! I wanna say the real number was about 5 - the first guy I was engaged to at 19, the guy I actually married at 23, the guy I got engaged to briefly after my divorce and the ax murderer.

Alas, there were far more than that, and it is shame rather than dissonance which prevents me from digging back in memory to give a more exact accounting. :blush:

Think about all the things humans do that are TRULY shameful. They lie, cheat, judge, destroy, harm, kill, etc. Don't kick yourself for needing & giving the comfort of human contact. You know how some folks, right after the death of a loved one, want/need to make love? So it must be instinctual to procreate in the face of death...makes sense, because the act of sex is life giving. So sex is about survival, on a primal level.

It's also about love for many, and the search for it. And there's nothing wrong with wanting that.

I'm with you and others about some of the bad choices I made...I may feel some regret but not shame. And most of the regret is that I couldn't see through my own BOS clearly enough to make better choices.

Cut yourself some slack here, and get that little nun out of your head!

i'll admit it - i'm one of the 91+ sluts. not an issue i'm proud of really, but whatever. the truth is I don't regret a single one of them. not because i want that notch in the bedpost but because each and every one of them holds some different value or special spot in my memory. they were all different, each taught me something, and only one of them thinks i'm walking slime. as far as i know, anyway.

Ghod, I wasn't trying to peddle shame...and anybody who hasn't made a few mistakes in this department isn't really playing the game at all.

I confronted that "donwanna think about some of that" feeling even though there's not as many lines in my logbook. But looking back in bulk, chances are, either a particular hookup was a mistake and regrettable on that account, or it wasn't but it's over now and subject to regret that it's over.

But that's no reason to not at least embrace the good times...and any lessons learned from the not-so-good ones. :-)

Es el mismo, Hombre Que No Puede Deletrear.

And for the record, the correct answer is, "That's nobody's business but my own." :eyebrow:

It would have been interesting to see the 1-10 broken down more. I know that there are only 10 vote slots, but since that's where the larger number will go, I would have broken the higher numbers into larger ranges.

That's just my :2cents:. It's still an interesting poll. Lookout, you may be the 21st century's version of Alfred Kinsey.

It's a miracle!! Your memory is back!!

I decline to give a number in this thread on the grounds that it may incriminate me.

Who are the virgins?

I think this survey should be followed up with a second one of maybe increments of 3 from 1 to 30; it would be the more interesting breakdown, and the data from this survey could just be added on.

Although ideally it would be a full survey, including age, producing the Grand Numerical Average Of Lovers Per Year Of Cellarites.

My long term memory was never in question. Its my short term memory, especially my spatial memory. As far as I recall, I've slept with only one man since the ax murderer whom I met at the height of the CO poisoning. :p

At any rate, I became sexually active at age 18, I'm now 54, which makes - God help me - 36 years. My top end estimate is 30 lovers which gives me an average of less than one a year, so I guess I'm not as much of a slut as I think.

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Oh yeah? Each one is special, huh? What are their names? :lol: