With respect, Monty Python's Eurovision was another time another place.
Although, yes, there is the occasional wildcard along those lines.
France's entry can only be excused because it's also their World Cup anthem. And then only with a little generosity. And yes, they did better than us.

UT - ringers are a common factor in Eurovision.
We've done it too (Katrina and the Waves).
Cyprus tried it this year with a Welsh chap, but he was obviously tainted by the UK fail-magnet and they didn't finish much above us :(

Warning: this may be incomprehensible to non-Brits
 

Good news, good news!
Blue have reformed and are our Eurovision entry.

I always had a soft spot for them, because after they split they all did fairly well separately, and Antony and Duncan went to star in musical theatre, which I love of course. Duncan has also been a presenter, which I think it's a terrifically difficult job to make look easy, and he did.

I always thought Lee was a twat, and only recently discovered he is 10 years younger than me. So when I was 27 and despising him, he was in fact 17 and totally entitled to stupid behaviour.

Anyway, I got this month's copy of Attitude (UK gay mag) partly because it was their naked issue. And lo and behold Blue were featured. They looked nice too :) Duncan is bisexual, the rest are straight. I have a lot of respect for striaght men who strip off for gay magazines.

Here's our entry. It's not their best song, but it is quite Eurovision


Ireland's entry: Jedward.
They were appalling live on X Factor. I doubt their live performance will come close to this studio version. I do like them though. For being completely hatstand.

Well people, it's tonight.

I've downloaded and printed off my score card, and no doubt I'll be completely baffled by the winner, and my favourites will come in the bottom half of the table and I'll be furious at the prevalance of Royaume Uni, nul points.

But ahead of the actual contest I am hopeful and excited. Neil Gaiman's Doctor Who and Eurovision! What a Saturday night to cherish. It's enough to make me want to break out the Blue Nun and prawn cocktail.

No doubt I will report back a lot more bitter and wiser later tonight, or tomorrow morning.

Poor Bonnie Tyler. She deserved better.
I managed to stay sane by only watching the voting on fast-forward on Sky+ after I knew who won. So no grievances about block voting because I just didn't witness it.

Malta placed us highly again.

I didn't win the Euromillions lottery last week, but that just means it rolls over. I'll host a Dwellar GTG, all expenses paid (inc travel) over a weekend when I do win. In Malta. Eat and drink as much as you like, buy local food and clothes and jewellery because the country deserves that kind of windfall.

One thing that really made me laugh (well, I admit there were quite a few) was that near the front was someone with a banner for DANI. We only ever saw it from the back. Had it been in one of the 'stans I'd have assumed the other side said CHERRY and it was Limey trying to get on TV. But it was in Malmo in Sweden, so not likely, unless Limes is laying a very elaborate false trail.

Limey? You got any wigs with you?

Anyway, couldn't help wondering whether Scotland will make an entry if they really do secede. I hate that they want to break up the union. I admit I love Wales more than Scotland, but only by degrees. I can't believe what they want to cut themselves off from. Westminster I know; but don't we all? It'll be like losing an arm or a leg.

Anyway, back to Eurovision; enjoyed the intermission show.
Funny.
Although I identified most of the Swedish characteristics as British. Bloody Viking invasions.

Bear with it, it's amusing. Most of them aren't.