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-   Current Events (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=4)
-   -   Speak (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=15803)

Perry Winkle 11-14-2007 02:45 AM
Quote:
Today is a first for TAS.

Today, a newspaper written by students, run by students, and most importantly overseen by students, begins its first run.

Today, the administration no longer controls our media. Today, we are exercising our rights, not as human beings, to a free and open press.

Today, we begin a new chapter for Taipei American School.

Speak is an independent newspaper founded, in protest, upon libertarian and free ideals to provide an alternative to the school-run media.

Speak is not an anarchist newspaper. Speak is not a punk propaganda magazine.

Speak is a free and open forum to which any Taipei American School student, teacher, or administrator may contribute. Speak is an internationally-aware, rational, mature libertarian newspaper meant to appeal to both student and faculty. Speak is an outlet meant to provide a way for students to express themselves through art, creative writing, political discourse, school-oriented journalism, and through graphic design.

Speak is not just a newspaper. Speak is a community. Anybody may submit, anybody may join the staff, anybody may give their two cents.

Speak is a newspaper for you.

Speak is, above all else, free. Speak is not my newspaper. Speak is your newspaper. It is our newspaper. Speak is for all of us to write and create for, and for all of us to read. And it is censored by nobody.

Do you smell that? That’s the smell of freedom.
Just a little editing. . . it could use more.

Ibby 11-14-2007 03:19 AM
what'd you change?

Perry Winkle 11-14-2007 08:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ibram (Post 406853)
what'd you change?
Some commas and a few small cuts.

Cicero 11-16-2007 11:21 AM
Comma and semi-colon. It's very important that your first line be powerful, and painstakingly correct.

It's been a long time since I have been an editor. So, I cannot be relied on. It is my first gut reaction, however. No hitches in the first line!!! It's a great opening if carried off properly.

Humble opinion from the peanut gallery.
:D

I was fighting the impulse to edit it myself, so I only read the first line. Ibram, you are such a good kid, and I don't even think you know it.

monster 11-16-2007 12:32 PM
Good Luck. (and I agree with choco and clod about cutting the repetition there, but if you do keep it, basis is the word you need.)

Griff 11-16-2007 06:20 PM
Good luck fella! I'll post the poll.


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