the thing is---i LIKE this guy AND I don't want to alienate the entire dept. by being a bitch. (bitch is the right word for 'assertive woman who refuses to be treated like dirt', right?) I WANT his approval. I also asked my professor with the tiny dick to write him an email telling him how important it is to my health to have something to take my mind off the whole illness thing (which this other, kick-me-out professor KNOWS as we've talked about it) so we shall see if professor one (tiny) can convince professor two (only his wife knows) of my merit as a student. I can't believe this is my life. Mafia or possibly Judas Iscariot in previous life.

SD--as of now I am a registered student, not audited, not withdrawan. I understand he can't grade the paper--but he's the one who said 'coffee' not me.

Christ on a bike Bri, what an absolute bodyblow.

Do you have a pastoral tutor? Someone who is there to assist with advice etc on the overall course rather than specific modules? (Personal Tutor) If so I would advise having a chat with them and exploring your options on the whole situation: the possibility of taking a break from uni and picking it back up at a later stage and whether or not the financial aid would also pick back up, stuff like that. Talking to the Dean also sounds like a good idea.

The fact he suggested you and he may wish to discuss the paper over coffee makes me think he's become emotionally engaged with you and this may be why it's affecting his teaching.....well, that is his issue to deal with, not yours. If he can't successfully separate his emotional responses from his professional conduct then he's not much of a professional is he? I would suggest when you talk to the dean that you mention that bit also, because it runs uncomfortably close to the sexual harrassment slope.

If, as he seems to believe, he is so fucking emotionally affected by this, it's funny he's not remotely emotionally affected by the thought of you having to cope with all this and being broke on top of it. Shallow. Arrogant. Unprofessional. Fuck.

I love you, dana. thanks---you're completely right---I SOBBED when i told him class was the only thing I had (which is true) and he was adamant. I should leave. what a jerk. I'm always misjudging people. It's amazing I've made it thus far. I should've been a victim of a serial killer long ago.

So if you don't withdraw, he'll fail you and make you WISH you'd withdrawn? Grrrr....

If that weren't the case, I'd tell him to kiss my royal ass. And to deal with his neuroses on his own damn time.

Stormie

OMG - what a jerk. I would've just told him "I'm so sorry that ME having cancer is such a BURDEN on YOU!"

I'm so sorry that you are getting treated like this.

Whoa! ok, that changes things. I was under the impression that you were just chilling in his class for the love of learning while waiting to regain your health before becoming an official student again. I wouldn't go immediately for the WMD's (lawsuit, formal complaint) just yet, but it cannot hurt to sit down and calmly discuss this with him one more time. If that doesn't work, move up the chain in his dept, all the time using your best "let's be friends" demeanor - remember this is a dept that you will be an official member of again in the near future. At some point along the way you will find someone who can look at it logically.

Sorry, that you have to deal with it all though.

Does your place have an ombudsman? They are supposed to resolve these types of issues.

And if not resolved to your satisfaction, go ahead and sue their ivory-towered asses!

It was under HIS guidance that she started auditing.

They can too do much. They won't if you don't push it. It's inexcusable, and I can tell you without a doubt if our VP of Student Services got wind of she would find out what the hell is going on.

As I said: things CAN be done, concessions CAN be made.

But what do I know?

Oh gee. I have so much compassion for him. Poor thing. He's being emotionally effected...So what manipulative fuck trip is this? I don't think you want to sign on for it. I think you should emotionally distance yourself and take another look at the situation.

Bri- If it were me in your place what would you say?


Go to the first post, read it again as if it were, say me, or Sundae, or anyone else but you writing it.....

What would you say to them?

Bri, whatever you decide to do about the class, DO NOT let them take away your financial aid over this. Talk to the dean. Explain that you're even willing to not alienate/bitch/sue over the whole thing, but that financially penalizing you because of his issues is not acceptable.

Clodfobble Gives sound advice
 

Here's the thing: the FA dept may be following the fed regulations involving that particular situation. There is very little leeway as far as changing FA regs: the way to circumvent the issue is to get the registration, or whatever, changed.

This is from someone who actually works in Student Services. There ARE things that can be done...but decisions to cancel or not cancel any federal or state based funds is basically out of the hands of those who administer those programs. The tweaking must come with dates used for drops, refund periods, etc. Auditors will not go along with "we let her keep her aid because we felt she deserved it." Audits happen every year. A bad audit leads to a program review by the feds. A bad program review can lead to the institution losing its right to participate in Title IV programs. If she keeps aid because the administrators, such as registrar, in other areas were able to make concessions based on that situation (and there ARE appeals that can accomplish this)...that is OK to do.

Unless it is institution based aid (which it might be, I don't know) a school cannot just decide to pull your aid any more than they can decide to give you extra. There is no gray in these areas. It is what it is. It ain't always great. I still think you should contact a rep in Student SErvices. That is what we (they) are here for.

They can fail you for not going to enough classes, but they can't fail you because you have cancer.

If he's asked you to leave class because you have cancer, regardless of how he put it in his pussy footing baby arsed way, what he's trying to do is illegal.

Speak to someone who can defend you on this properly if he's not willing to reconsider his assertions.

...it's not really my place to comment here, but I'm gonna do it anyway, because I can't mind my own business.

An individual professor has the right to fail you, but certainly NOT kick you out of class. I had some medical issues myself when I was a full-time student a few years back, and I found that meeting with the Dean was really helpful; my Dean did everything within his power to help me out when I had difficulties getting to all my classes.

I must agree with lookout and everyone else who has said that it sounds like your professor has gotten attached to you, but it's absolutely 100% true that his attachment to you should in no way affect your education. There are a lot of issues at work here, but that one should be pretty clear--or else his professional reputation is at stake. I think everyone's right. Petition with him one more time and explain your desire to remain in the class. If he still insists that you withdraw, take it to the Dean. I wouldn't even mention the "coffee" comment, since that isn't ultimately the issue, and it will only get your Professor in trouble.

Best of luck to you. I've been lurking here for quite a while, and I just want to tell you that my thoughts are with you.