I think the important thing to bear in mind here, is that everybody is different. Depression is a highly individual experience and needs dealing with accodingly.

From what anon says, this has not been a swift jump to medication, but rather something arrived at after years of trying other things.

I've had bad experiences of anti-depressants, but I wasn't very good at taking them as prescribed. I have a similar orientation to prescription drugs as a solution to some here. I'm afraid I am very much like the diabetic UT imagines. I have a chronic condition (actually two) but when I am unwell (as I currently am) it can be months before i actually go and see my doctor. I resent the routines and management involved and often fall off the programme.

Keep an eye on how you're doing with the medication, Anon, and you'll likely find they stop making you drowsy or leaving you muggy in the mornings after a few weeks. UT's right about it being a bit of a trial and error routine finding the right dosage etc; but the other advice regarding diet and exericise is really important as well. Like UT, I have had depression on and off thourghout my life, regardless of weight, general happiness, success or otherwise and I have found that diet plays a part in that. That may just be because at the point I start eating well, it usually represents me going back into an upswing and 'taking control'.

Please don't view taking anti-depressants as some kind of personal defeat. They are over-prescribed it is true, but that doesn't mean they aren't sometimes the most appropriate way to deal with what is a very debilitating condition. It's not a matter of 'character', or will-power. It's not a sign of weakness or dependency. It is medication for a medical condition. If you've tried everything else, and are not labouring under unhappy or desperate conditions, which might otherwise explain how you feel, then it's very possible you are one of that minority of people for whom these drugs are prescribed, that actually needs them.

Usually a fair indicator is how successful the treatment is. UT to me sounds like someone for whom the drugs were appropriate and necessary. Most aren't, but that still leaves a fuck of a lot of people who are.

Good luck with it, Anon. Keep popping back in to let us know how you are getting on. Remember that you still have absolute control and are not sliding into something you can't handle. It's just medication, if you aren't happy with it you can always choose not to continue (though I'd advise with the Doctor's involvement). If you try it for a few months you may find that it helps.

I have struggled with depression my entire life. Like UT, it didn't matter what was happening to me externally. I got promoted - I was depressed. My writing got published - I was depressed. Depression is always there, lurking in the background for me. I am currently on lexapro, and its not working. This may because I am dealing with a pretty tragic situation right now, but its also because depression is a constant for me. I needed to read the other posters' advice about exercise and diet. I have been neglecting these things. Looking back, I was at my best when I was taking prozac, eating well, and walking for an hour each day. Don't feel upset over being on an anti-depressant, anon. It may be just the ticket. Give the zoloft a proper chance. If it doesn't work after a month or so, you might get your doctor to give you a trial on some other anti-depressant. Best of luck to you!

Godd for you UT - glad they are working and you are "living"!

Wow, thanks for the support and advice to everyone! I definitely plan to continue with the medication, I still feel groggy with it in the morning, but it does seem to be lessening a bit day by day, so hopefully it will dissipate entirely.

My diet and exercise routines are nearly non-existent, and I know that can be a huge factor with depression. However, I really don't have time for either at the moment with everything that's going on. When I *do* manage to get the time...I'm like UT, I just want to curl up in a ball on my bed and sleep until something else I need to do comes up, which is why I decided to get the medication for now.

Normally I manage without it because although I feel like crap a lot of the time, it doesn't inhibit me from doing the things that I like to do, and the things I need to do. But lately it's begun to interfere with my life, in a big way, and I need to have it looked at from a medical perspective. I plan to keep on this and see my doctor as she asks me to (I just got a new doctor as well, who I like and trust very much) and I also plan to keep up with my counseling appointments.

(PS: The reasons MTP gave for not liking anti-depressants, are the same reasons that I have for not wanting to be on them long-term if I don't have to be.)

Thanks for the encouragement, and I'm glad the cellar is so open and helpful, even to us anonymouses. ;)

anti depressants saved my life. I no longer feel like I want to put an axe in my head. I was born with it, it's genetic and exercise won't help a broken serotonin level no matter how much I want to believe in it. It does HELP to exercise once you find you can get your face off the mattress. it's a process. if your regimen works, stick with it. I've gone off my meds before and paid a heavy price for it. Not worth it.

I've been on Lexapro for five or six years now. Makes a world of difference in my ability to control anger issues. I've never really been "depressed" in the classic sense. I can't really even tell I'm taking it, but I can sure tell when I'm *not*.

WOW E, that is a long time to be on AD's. Most of them are designed as bridge medicaitons, not a perm solution. But I am glad to hear you are doing ok on them

merc, I've been on prozac since they invented the stuff. It was like seeing the world thru a new, better pair of glasses. I no longer loathed myself. why would I want to go back to that way of life?

My mom has a coworker/friend who has been on Prozac for at least 12 years now. The funny thing was, he took it for a few months and then said he wanted to go off it, not because there were bad side effects, but because he felt it had done absolutely nothing for him at all. He was even convinced for awhile that the pharmacy was giving him placebos.

My mother and all the other employees staged an intervention to inform him that no, he must not stop taking it, he may not be aware of it but he was a thousand times more bearable when he was on the drugs. It was still a few months after that before he acknowledged they might be right.

I guess what works, works. Don't take off your glasses.

To hear medication advice from someone who hasn't suffered from chronic depression (I'm not talking "I got some blues" or those who have suffered tragedy and understandably may need temporary help) is akin to a man telling me that menstrual symptoms aren't so bad. ;)

At one point if I could have found a cliff in Ohio I would have driven off it.

I'm still the same Shawnee, with a myriad of emotions, faults, and assets... I'm just a Shawnee who can finally see through the mud that felt like my life.

Shawnee, I'm glad you've finally reached the point where you can open up to your feelings for Radar.

*watches Shawnee jump in car and speed off, looking for that cliff* :)

lmao!

I've got me a little glass cutter, and a lot of time. I'm going to create a Shawnee shaped hole in this third floor window and jump. I swear I will. Don't look at me like I won't jump!

The Shawnee-shaped hole in the window is not a good idea. You might cut yourself on the way out.