The Cellar - Surrealist Question Game.

oh, here's the answer, for those who care..... :D

Dear Miss Plumper,

Thank you for your consideration of our request to extend our approved pool usage time by half an hour until 8:30. You said to check back and we realize you probably didn’t anticipate it being this soon, but we would like to explain to all of the people on your cc list as well as yourself why the extra half hour is so important and suggest some alternative ways both of our needs can be satisfied with minimal disruption to either of our programs.

Attached is a schematic of how we use 2.5 hours pool time. Each group contains 16 swimmers, and almost all classes are full, so we anticipate that approximately 100 swimmers will be in the pool during the course of the evening. If we try to squeeze this into two hours, either our advanced swimmers are going to be unable to get the yardage they need to maintain basic fitness levels, or we are going to have to try and get all 100 swimmers in the pool at the same time. Clearly this is undesirable -although we have sufficient lifeguards on deck, they cannot provide good coaching in those conditions.

We are a 501c(3) non-profit organization providing swimming instruction from babies to adults, for swimmers from Ypsilanti, Willow Run, Milan, Belleville, Saline and Ann Arbor, at minimal cost and with financial aid for those families who need it, and have been serving the community this way since 1960. All of our directors (including madame president and myself) are unpaid volunteers. It says on Dr. Thingummy’s Biography page that she “will charge all staff students, parents, citizens and constituents to do more than they need to, before they're asked to; not because they have to; but because they want to.” We believe this to be exactly what we are doing and that’s why I am sat at my computer at 11;45pm after a long first day back at school, composing this letter. And why Madame President–after two full nursing shifts- is still awake to read it.

We urge you to reconsider allowing us pool usage until 8:30 each night. We are happy to pay for the usage and would like to note that this was the time we swam until in Fall 08, and we made a point to try to leave the pool deck and locker rooms cleaner and tidier than when we arrived, and would do so again, so no additional work should be created for the custodial staff.

If you still cannot approve 8:30pm, could we compromise at 8:15pm? 15 minutes is significantly easier to work into our schedule than 30.

Another alternative is if we could hire a nearby room for 30 or even 15 minutes prior to our pool time where our more advanced swimmers could do their warm-up and dryland training, so they could “hit the pool swimming” at 6pm.

Please let us know as soon as possible if any of these suggestions are viable.

We also ask you to bear in mind that –whilst we understand that there were “unexpected, unavoidable delays” which led to you only communicating the 8pm policy to us today, we did make the request for rental until 8:30pm before Thanksgiving and were given no reason to believe it would be a problem, especially as these hours are the same as we used in Fall08. Had we known of the policy, we would most certainly have scheduled in accordance. But we didn’t, and your email of this afternoon suggested there was room for flexibility/further consideration, so here is our case.

Respectfully yours

Dr. Monster,
Treasurer and Scheduler
the Awesome Swim Club