I have accomplished precious little today. But I have nagged Mr. Clod into accomplishing two big things, so that's something at least.

Awesome back rub from my son when I woke up. He's a natural. I sure didn't teach him. Elementary school fun fair for 2 hours. Daughter's soccer game for an hour and a half. Get the lawn mower ready for the new season, and mow the lawn. Dinner in the back yard at the picnic table. Just got back from getting ice cream cones.

Nice day. I feel warm. I got some sun.

No, actually. Windsor didn't get any snow, but there is standing water in some of the surrounding fields. That just isn't normal for us. We have had rain for 2 days now, which is great, but unusual.

And I agree with your second post...I love the poppyseed. I think I like Dorothy Lynch better, though.

I just laid out clues for an easter egg hunt for my boys to do when I've picked them up from their fathers. (yes I know it's a week late. I didn't do one this year because I thought they'd be too old for that sort of thing. Turns out I was wrong.)

Recently I cleaned up a nice big baby vomit. Oh happy days!

Later I might take a nap, or take Max for a walk. The walk would be better for my physical health, but the nap might be better for my mental well being. We'll see which seems more pressing after lunch.

Major thunderstorm here today. So, I was just staying home and watching some TV shows.

I clean house and do laundry every Sunday. Every Sunday. But ONLY on Sunday.

It's a good day to do it. The bars are closed.

Today I sat out in the sun, did a complete cat litter change for Diz (I used clumping so it's not a weekly occurrence) and walked to the supermarket (2 mile round trip) to get the discounted bargains. Not as good as Greenwich - poorer people shop here and know the discount times too, and the store is 1/4 of the size. But I got a couple of meals for the freezer, inc a WeightWatchers pizza, and a mini baguette to go with my dinner tonight, and a small bunch of grapes that I have already hoovered up.

Got callouses on the soles of my feet from wearing my flipflops, but it's part of the toughening up process that happens every summer. Also wore a size 20 white linen skirt with embroidered flowers to let the sun get to my legs. I think I last wore that when I went to meet an American chap from Craigslist last year for dim sum. Seems like a world away, but gives me hope that I could get back to socialising sometime. Once the clothes fit the rest follows, maybe?

Spaghetti and meatballs tonight. Nom nom.

Wow, Sunday is a great day to go to the pub here. Usually there's live music and cheap beer.

Georgia bars close on Sunday? :confused:

Only in some (most ) counties. I can drive 45 miles and party down. Being born/raised in Savannah, this has been a hard adjustment for me. Sundays are big bar days in most larger cities. I've been here for almost 20 years and I still can't get used to it. I've just learned to designate Sunday as home party day. Not necessarily my home.
The up side is that housework is much more bearable while intoxicated. And I don't have to drive home. Fear not. My bar here is always well stocked.

I think so! :D

"Once the clothes fit the rest follows..." is actually a brilliant re-stating of an AA principle: Fake it till you make it.

ACT like it's true and it soon WILL be true! example: New AA person, thinking to herself while at stupid AA meeting: "I fooking HATE AA meetings! Why can't I be like other people and just have three drinks and call it a night? WHY do I always end up in jail/squad car/hospital/at ex's/on phone to Fiji...whatever. These people make me sick. I despise them. I"m nothing like them! See? THAT stupid one just said he'd accidentally killed his best friend! Well, I"ve never killed anybody! There was that bunny rabbit I ran over Easter morning when I was coming home from Julie's party, but I had to drink that night! I"d done waaaay too much coke and needed a few good drinks in me to - hey, that woman just said the absolute dumbest thing I think I've ever heard; she said to pretend like I'm sober and happy and it will soon be true that I AM sober and happy...what a MORON! I"m gonna get outta here and call Julie; see if she wants to have a little night cap or whatever...but nothing big because I can't have people all up in my business thinking I can't have just a couple drinks every now and then; I wonder if Julie has any coke left...but I'm definitely just going to do a little, just a bit of coke and rum and more coke, ha ha , I'm so funny..."

If this poor newbie could just turn this inner dialogue around and say to herself, "I AM sober, I AM sober, I WANT sobriety, I WILL remain sober...ok, I don't really want to be in this AA meeting but I will pretend that I do want to be here; and I don't want a salad for lunch, I want Skyline chili with extra cheese and sour cream, but i will pretend to be a healthy person and have the salad..." it would come true or at least come partly true; maybe she would have a salad which might lead to her thinking she IS a healthier person and she won't drink or overeat just that day because she is pretending to be a healthy person.

Instead, she's probably going to go do coke and get drunk with Julie according to her inner monologue. At least this is my experience.

"fake it till you make it" is a proven way to get happier and become healthier. ACT AS IF you are a size 18 or whatever, act as IF you were serene and sober and pleased and your mind might follow your lead.

Love you, Cherry. Best.

Thanks for the support.
Sadly my mood nose-dived after my Dad told me off yesterdat evening and I spent the night crying. Even I acknowledged it was odd behaviour. Still, the morning has blown the clouds away to an extent.

Got an appointment this week re my meds (the 7 days prescribing and the lack of increase in my trazodone) and am going to acupuncture and possibly a support group today.

And the sky is cloud free. I might even take a photo of it for you :)

This was a lesson my mum taught me when I was a little girl. I forgot it for a few years when I went into the maelstrom. But when I remembered it, it proved its worth all over again.

Oh honey. That's horrid. Night time sobbing is so exhausting. Makes you feel so out of control whilst it's happening. Probably did you good though. My guess is it wasnt really the thing with your Dad that you were crying over. Or, rather, it was probably not just about that. You've had a very stressful and unsettling week, since your support system changed. Add that to a couple of reminders from your mum and Dad about various upsetting things, and I suspect it all built up. Your Dad getting at you last night was likely just the breaking of the dam. Pretty understandable really, given the last couple of weeks. I realise there've been good things come out of the last week or so, including a new friend. But sometimes even good new things are unsettling *smiles* when added to a raft of other changes.

Glad you're feeling a little brighter this morning. Hold onto that next time the dam bursts at night. The dawn brings relief and and mornings can offer new perspectives.

You're doing brilliantly Cherry. I hope you're surprising yourself with your strength every time you blow away the storm clouds. You don't surprise us with it, of course....we know already know you're a warrior ::)

Good luck with the meds and acupuncture. And get that photo taken :P