:hugs and prayers: to you and yours, wolf. Bless you all. Take comfort in each other. peace.

Very sorry to hear of your loss. Losing your mother is very hard. May you carry her in your heart, always.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss wolf. My thoughts are with you and your family.

I'm so sorry for your loss, wolf. :(

Just saw this thread. Condolences from the capnhowdy camp.

Thank you all so much.

I've been making a lot of calls this morning, still avoiding the calls to the momwolf's survivng siblings. She was the youngest of 9. One was stillborn, another died in infancy, and a third died in the influenza epidemic. She also had a sister who died in her teens of lukemia.

Several people have been kind of taken aback when I tell them, "No, there won't be a memorial service or a funeral. siswolf and I are doing things on our own."

I don't go into it further, since most of momwolf's friends since unclewolf and twinuncle wolf (momwolf was a fraternal twin) really won't understand why a Native American Shaman will be doing a releasing ceremony (So, in answer to the question, no Jazz, but there will probably be drumming and chanting).

One thing I learned this morning is that funeral directors will come to you, rather than making you come to them, which is good because the weather is appropriately miserable today.

He was very kind on the phone, but has already attempted to up-sell us. He should be here in half an hour or so.

We do need to figure out what sort of container we want her cremains in. I was looking at some of the options on the funeral home's website, and really am not sure. We don't want her in cardboard (too many possibilities to spill or lose her) and most of the actual urns are far too elaborate. I did get a weird laugh moment, because there was a pink cloisonné urn that was just WAY too Meet the Parents.

The funeral director didn't come to me. I had to drive clear across town.

I am so sorry, Wolf. I'm sure you're having all those mixed relief/grief/guilt feelings; been there done that. But you're much braver than I am. You did your absolute best for your mom, I'm sure she knew that, and I hope that brings you comfort.

I'm sorry to hear about momwolf. Peace to you and siswolf, it seems like y'all can work together on this which makes the process easier.
Do you have a friend who is a woodworker or a ceramics maker? If you can wait a bit, they might be able to make an appropriate container to your liking. I know my dad (woodworker) make the urn we used for my mom's biological dad and was a nice piece. Also affordable considering he had no money left and we weren't in the best position to pay for it all.

Funeral parlors are thicker than ticks on a hound, around here, and competition is pretty strong. A friend, who recently buried his Mom told me, some had a price list, take it or leave it, but most would negotiate.

Choosing an urn, do pick something they would have liked, or something to suit your taste since you're the one that will be seeing it?

I'm very sorry to hear of momwolf's passing. My condolences to you and your family.

Wow, that sucks man. I'm very sorry for your loss.

So sorry to hear it, Wolf. You truly did everything possible to ease her final weeks.

Oh wolf... I am so sorry to hear of momwolfs passing. You stayed steadfastly by her side and helped her through so much lately. May she finally rest and be at peace.

Sorry for your loss, wolf. I was wondering how you all were doing.

I found focussing on arranging my brother's funeral to reflect his personality (as far as we could) was very comforting, and meant that the service had meaning for everyone there.

This seems like a really lovely idea if it could be done.