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-   -   Why does Spiderman hate Christmas? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=21609)

monster 12-10-2009 09:20 PM

Spidey thinks she is not pretty and sparkly enough, and is removing the opposition. make her more pretty and sparkly thusly:

1) give spiderman a bath with an extremely aromatic shampoo.
2) place catnip toys around the base of the tree, a small distance from the trunk
3) slather the trunk with the extremely aromatic shampoo.

Elspode 12-10-2009 09:23 PM

Get a large, shallow steel oil change pan. Fill it with an inch of water. Place tree in pan. Attach electric fence power source. That will keep kitteh away from the tree, and it will help keep the tree nicely humidified.

ZenGum 12-11-2009 02:49 AM

Think of it from Spiderman's point of view.

Quote:

Tree! Inside - nice. Me climb.

Branch, paw, leap, grip.

Hey! Whassdat? Thing moved!! Where was it again.....

Hmmm, creep higher... hey!! There it is! Must catch!

Branch, paw, twist... OMG they're everywhere! Aggh, which one to kill first? SWAT! how many can I get? This one! Ha, no up here! KAPOW! Wait, red shiny! Yahhh! SLAM! CLAW! Gotchya!! Next!

(later)
All tired out now.
I love my hooman. What a lovely toy she got for me.


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