"The Touching of The Hummingbird" occurred when I took one away from a cat we had years ago, it lived through the ordeal and flew away out of my hand, the hummingbird, not the cat.

I was with the parents when they saw Elvis in Memphis maybe. I might've been six.

1. Felt the sun shining on your bare ass --> Y
2. Been caught screwing in the car --> Never (tough I did it quite a few times)
3. Been asked to leave a bar --> Never
4. Been physically removed from a bar --> Never
5. Outran the police in a car --> Never
6. Outran the police on foot --> Never
7. Passed out drunk in a public place --> Yes
8. Driven a car over 100 mph --> Since it's "only" 160 km/h, yes quite a lot of times
9. Jumped a motorcycle more than thirty feet --> Never
10. Been fired from a job for screwing around on your boss' dime --> Never though I told one that he was an asshole
11. Seen Elvis live in concert --> Never
12. Seen Jimmy Buffett live in concert --> Never
13. Touched a hummingbird --> Never
14. Been flogged by a rooster/chicken --> Strange question... I so don't want to know
15. Been knocked out cold by a blow to the head --> Never
16. Served a jail sentence --> Never
17. Served a prison sentence --> Never
18. Had sex outside in broad daylight --> Oh Yes, Yes, Yes...
19. Had a physical altercation with your best friend --> Never
20. Had your ass handed to you by someone literally half your size --> Never

Oh in that case - just for accuracy... #13 yes - I had to remove a dead one once.

Have You Ever?

1. Felt the sun shining on your bare ass........ Yes
2. Been caught screwing in the car.................No
3. Been asked to leave a bar.................Yes once or twice
4. Been physically removed from a bar.....Once when drunk, Once due to a fight
5. Outran the police in a car.......Not in a car but years ago on a Honda CB750 Supersport
6. Outran the police on foot.........No
7. Passed out drunk in a public place.....Yes many many times,usually festivals
8. Driven a car over 100 mph...Yes
9. Jumped a motorcycle more than thirty feet....No
10. Been fired from a job for screwing around on your boss' dime........Yes
11. Seen Elvis live in concert.....Who
12. Seen Jimmy Buffett live in concert.......Who
13. Touched a hummingbird.....Never seen one in the flesh or feather
14. Been flogged by a rooster/chicken..Hmmmmmmm not sure what that's about
15. Been knocked out cold by a blow to the head..Yes was hit full in the forehead with a heavy hammer
16. Served a jail sentence...only a night in police cells (does that count?)
17. Served a prison sentence...No
18. Had sex outside in broad daylight....twice
19. Had a physical altercation with your best friend.....lots of times my best friend john and i were always at it still loved him though
20. Had your ass handed to you by someone literally half your size....Once, but i had the last laugh

Have You Ever?

1. Felt the sun shining on your bare ass - Yes, it's pretty secluded here ...
2. Been caught screwing in the car - Yes, by a Russian goatherd
3. Been asked to leave a bar - Yes, "we've had your money, you've had your beer, now sup up and sod off!"
4. Been physically removed from a bar - No
5. Outran the police in a car - No
6. Outran the police on foot - No
7. Passed out drunk in a public place - No
8. Driven a car over 100 mph - Yes, well, I wanted to see how it felt
9. Jumped a motorcycle more than thirty feet - No
10. Been fired from a job for screwing around on your boss' dime - sort of, basically things got a little rough after I did way too much net-surfing and I jumped before I was pushed
11. Seen Elvis live in concert - No, but I have seen James Brown live: my eldest brother and I took my mum, it was great
12. Seen Jimmy Buffett live in concert - No
13. Touched a hummingbird - No
14. Been flogged by a rooster/chicken - No
15. Been knocked out cold by a blow to the head - No
16. Served a jail sentence - No
17. Served a prison sentence - No
18. Had sex outside in broad daylight - can't remember?
19. Had a physical altercation with your best friend - yes, I poured Carlsberg Special Brew all over her, then found out it wasn't her fault.
20. Had your ass handed to you by someone literally half your size - No.

Have You Ever?

1. Felt the sun shining on your bare ass - yes
2. Been caught screwing in the car - yep
3. Been asked to leave a bar - Yep
4. Been physically removed from a bar - yep
5. Outran the police in a car - does a Dirt bike count , or a Buick Electra -v- a national Guard Jeep Count ??
6. Outran the police on foot - Yep , with .45 rounds flying about
7. Passed out drunk in a public place - yep
8. Driven a car over 100 mph - yep
9. Jumped a motorcycle more than thirty feet - See #5
10. Been fired from a job for screwing around on your boss' dime -Nope
11. Seen Elvis live in concert - Nope
12. Seen Jimmy Buffett live in concert - Nope
13. Touched a hummingbird - A girl Named Humming bird Count ??
14. Been flogged by a rooster/chicken - ????
15. Been knocked out cold by a blow to the head - Yep
16. Served a jail sentence - A few Nights in jail count ??
17. Served a prison sentence- Nope
18. Had sex outside in broad daylight - Yep
19. Had a physical altercation with your best friend - yep
20. Had your ass handed to you by someone literally half your size - Dont mess with the JPs on Okinowa !!!

1. Felt the sun shining on your bare assY
2. Been caught screwing in the carN
3. Been asked to leave a barY
4. Been physically removed from a barN
5. Outran the police in a carN
6. Outran the police on footY
7. Passed out drunk in a public placeN
8. Driven a car over 100 mphY
9. Jumped a motorcycle more than thirty feetN
10. Been fired from a job for screwing around on your boss' dimeY
11. Seen Elvis live in concertN
12. Seen Jimmy Buffett live in concertN
13. Touched a hummingbirdN
14. Been flogged by a rooster/chickenN
15. Been knocked out cold by a blow to the headY
16. Served a jail sentenceN
17. Served a prison sentenceN
18. Had sex outside in broad daylightY
19. Had a physical altercation with your best friendY
20. Had your ass handed to you by someone literally half your sizeN

That's what you get for harassing the cows like that...

They were probably asking for it...

Have you ever:
Received a standing ovation?
Given a eulogy?
Hosted a party people still talk about?
Masturbared in your workplace?
Kissed a dead body?
Had a song or poem written about you?
Received a marriage proposal from someone you didn't marry?
Flashed your bits and/ or pieces to a total stranger?
Failed a driving test?
Had a coldsore?
Been given money by a complete stranger?
Cried in a supermarket?

Y to all of the above.

Received a standing ovation? N
Given a eulogy? N
Hosted a party people still talk about? Y
Masturbared in your workplace? N
Kissed a dead body? Y
Had a song or poem written about you? N
Received a marriage proposal from someone you didn't marry? N
Flashed your bits and/ or pieces to a total stranger? Kinda
Failed a driving test? N
Had a coldsore? Y
Been given money by a complete stranger? Y
Cried in a supermarket? N

1. Felt the sun shining on your bare ass yyy
2. Been caught screwing in the car y
3. Been asked to leave a bar n
4. Been physically removed from a bar n
5. Outran the police in a car n
6. Outran the police on foot yy
7. Passed out drunk in a public place m
8. Driven a car over 100 mph m
9. Jumped a motorcycle more than thirty feet n
10. Been fired from a job for screwing around on your boss' dime n
11. Seen Elvis live in concert nn
12. Seen Jimmy Buffett live in concert n
13. Touched a hummingbird n
14. Been flogged by a rooster/chicken n
15. Been knocked out cold by a blow to the head m
16. Served a jail sentence n
17. Served a prison sentence n
18. Had sex outside in broad daylight y
19. Had a physical altercation with your best friend y
20. Had your ass handed to you by someone literally half your size n (I don't fight dwarfs or children . )





Have you ever:
Received a standing ovation? M
Given a eulogy? N
Hosted a party people still talk about? Y
Masturbared in your workplace? N
Kissed a dead body? N
Had a song or poem written about you? M
Received a marriage proposal from someone you didn't marry? N
Flashed your bits and/ or pieces to a total stranger? N
Failed a driving test? N
Had a coldsore? N
Been given money by a complete stranger? Y
Cried in a supermarket? Y


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever:

1. Set on fire
2. Jumped from a moving car
3. Had a knife pull on you
4. Make something that has never been made before
5. Met a band
6. Crowed surfed
7. Seen a river by the light of the full moon
8. Received more than one nonsurgical physical scars
9. Worked for 72 hours straight
10. Walked a 2 inch beam over 30 feet in the air.
11. Drank 8oz of Tequila in one gulp
12. Eaten an endangered animal
13. Cut down a tree
14. Worked 80+ hours a week
15. Eaten a chicken fried steak that is on foot in diameter
16. Interviewed by the news
17. Jumped off a roof
18. Shot a gun inside a house
19. Had sex in every room of a house in one night
20. Had a nearly perfect day.

1-20y

1. Felt the sun shining on your bare ass y
2. Been caught screwing in the car y
3. Been asked to leave a bar y
4. Been physically removed from a bar y
5. Outran the police in a car n
6. Outran the police on foot n
7. Passed out drunk in a public place y
8. Driven a car over 100 mph y
9. Jumped a motorcycle more than thirty feet n
10. Been fired from a job for screwing around on your boss' dime n
11. Seen Elvis live in concert n
12. Seen Jimmy Buffett live in concert n
13. Touched a hummingbird n
14. Been flogged by a rooster/chicken n
15. Been knocked out cold by a blow to the head n
16. Served a jail sentence n
17. Served a prison sentence n
18. Had sex outside in broad daylight y
19. Had a physical altercation with your best friend y
20. Had your ass handed to you by someone literally half your size y




Have you ever:
Received a standing ovation? y
Given a eulogy? y
Hosted a party people still talk about? n
Masturbared in your workplace? N
Kissed a dead body? N
Had a song or poem written about you? y
Received a marriage proposal from someone you didn't marry? y
Flashed your bits and/ or pieces to a total stranger? N
Failed a driving test? y
Had a coldsore? y
Been given money by a complete stranger? Y
Cried in a supermarket? n


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever:

1. Set on fire n
2. Jumped from a moving car n
3. Had a knife pull on you y
4. Make something that has never been made before not sure
5. Met a band y
6. Crowed surfed n
7. Seen a river by the light of the full moon y
8. Received more than one nonsurgical physical scars y
9. Worked for 72 hours straight y
10. Walked a 2 inch beam over 30 feet in the air. n
11. Drank 8oz of Tequila in one gulp n
12. Eaten an endangered animal probably
13. Cut down a tree y
14. Worked 80+ hours a week y
15. Eaten a chicken fried steak that is on foot in diameter n
16. Interviewed by the news y
17. Jumped off a roof n
18. Shot a gun inside a house y
19. Had sex in every room of a house in one night n
20. Had a nearly perfect day. n

Have you ever:
Received a standing ovation? Y
Given a eulogy? Y
Hosted a party people still talk about? Y
Masturbated in your workplace? N ----- (sex) Y
Kissed a dead body? N
Had a song or poem written about you? Y
Received a marriage proposal from someone you didn't marry? N
Flashed your bits and/ or pieces to a total stranger? N
Failed a driving test? N
Had a coldsore? Y
Been given money by a complete stranger? Y
Cried in a supermarket? N

Have you ever:
Received a standing ovation?Y
Given a eulogy?Y
Hosted a party people still talk about?Y
Masturbared in your workplace?N
Kissed a dead body?Y
Had a song or poem written about you?N
Received a marriage proposal from someone you didn't marry?N
Flashed your bits and/ or pieces to a total stranger?Y
Failed a driving test?N
Had a coldsore?Y
Been given money by a complete stranger?N
Cried in a supermarket?N

________________________________________________

1. Set on fireN
2. Jumped from a moving carN
3. Had a knife pull on youN
4. Make something that has never been made beforeY
5. Met a band Y
6. Crowed surfed N
7. Seen a river by the light of the full moonY
8. Received more than one nonsurgical physical scarsY
9. Worked for 72 hours straight YYY
10. Walked a 2 inch beam over 30 feet in the air.Y
11. Drank 8oz of Tequila in one gulpY
12. Eaten an endangered animalN
13. Cut down a treeY
14. Worked 80+ hours a weekYYY
15. Eaten a chicken fried steak that is on foot in diameterN
16. Interviewed by the newsY
17. Jumped off a roofY
18. Shot a gun inside a houseY
19. Had sex in every room of a house in one nightN
20. Had a nearly perfect day.Y