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-   -   New Intimacy Poll again (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=23930)

skysidhe 11-12-2010 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud (Post 694003)
if I got down on my knees and gave someone oral sex . . . without kissing or removing clothes or otherwise touching, that's not intimate.

But I would never do that (unless it would be with a regular partner), so it's all intimate to me.

yep, same here

Undertoad 11-12-2010 05:15 PM

Wait wait... anal. New poll, we need 4 more answers.

xoxoxoBruce 11-12-2010 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud (Post 694003)
WTF? "genital sex" as opposed to what--mental sex?

if I got down on my knees and gave someone oral sex . . . without kissing or removing clothes or otherwise touching, that's not intimate.

But it might be for him, that's why there are so many options in the pole.

monster 11-12-2010 08:54 PM

What about shoulder sex?

sexobon 11-13-2010 05:17 AM

Head & Shoulders sounds like good clean fun.

footfootfoot 11-13-2010 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud (Post 694003)
WTF? "genital sex" as opposed to what--mental sex?

if I got down on my knees and gave someone oral sex . . . without kissing or removing clothes or otherwise touching, that's not intimate.

That's what I'm talking about here. The disconnect between the act of sex and sex with intimacy.

xoxoxoBruce 11-13-2010 11:08 AM

Sex as an expression of intimacy, rather than carnal pleasure. Like asking her name when I pay her? :haha:

Griff 11-13-2010 11:10 AM

You paying by check?

xoxoxoBruce 11-13-2010 11:13 AM

No, in cash. That's why asking her name would make it more intimate.

Gravdigr 11-13-2010 01:26 PM

Having someone's junk in your mouth is pretty fucking intimate!

Sundae 11-13-2010 02:46 PM

It's intimate, but it doesn't have to be an act of intimacy.
I've been in situations that perhaps the average person in the street hasn't.
I don't boast about them, but I'm not ashamed of them - I lived my life the way I did and unless I get my hands ona time machine I can't change that.

In my past I've given a BJ to get out of an awkward situtation - ie where I didn't want sex but felt things could get awkward. So to me, a BJ was an acceptable compromise.

Men reading this would not want that for their daughters - my Dad wouldn't. But the choices I made, the situations I was in, I was able to shrug off what happened. And no, I'm not saying it was good behaviour on my part or theirs, just explaining why on earth I'd suck off someone I wasn't prepared to have sex with.

Going down on a man I have a real connection with is completely different. Completely. I've been accused of being "like a man" in my approach to sex before. Usually as a criticism. I'm not sure it's a valid somment given the huge range of male beliefs and opinions.

Clodfobble 11-13-2010 04:39 PM

On the notion of "eating ain't cheating:" I would actually be even more offended to discover a significant other had performed oral sex on another person, as opposed to having typical intercourse. At least with intercourse you could try to paint it as a carnal need that the offender wanted to satisfy. Giving oral without getting anything in return means he was doing it all for her, making it emotionally unfaithful as well as physically.

footfootfoot 11-13-2010 05:28 PM

But what if it was "She [just] gave me a bj." Worse or better than "We fucked."?

Ibby 11-14-2010 06:51 PM

i reject this poll for not giving fair choices for those outside the construct of binary gender.

monster 11-14-2010 07:03 PM

Does it make a difference, ibby? Isn't i how you feel about the act? Rather than which types of genitals are involved?


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