I completed the Tough Mudder yesterday. Today I sneezed and my hamstrings snapped causing me to fall over and drown in the shower.

Today I died of boredom during the second half of the Wings' game.

Today I died of pork overload.

oo-eer, missus! phnarr phnarr

Today was a pretty good day and so I decided not to jump off the Walt Whitman bridge. My grisly body will not be found on the Jersey side across from the airport. The nightly news will not show my Facebook profile picture.

well, not for that reason, anyway......

Walt Whitman and Jersey in the same thought and you decided to live???

Rolling the ambulance, contracting MRSA or C-diff, stabbed by a psych patient, shot for the drugs in my squad on any number of the sketchy streets here in Akron, or even at our station where there was a double homicide a block away last month. Good times.

you coulda saved some of those for the rest of the week.....

Accidental drowning due to falling asleep in the bathtub. The kitties request that donations be sent for their cat chow supply in lieu of flowers.

What does one say to the God of Death?

"Not today!"

As always, I got killed today by a car whose driver doesn't understand what crosswalks mean.

It's like Groundhog Day, except your day is always over again by 7:45 in the morning.

Not yet 9am
Here in Michigan
and already poor monster
was drownded by the rain
in January.

He always wanted to do such and such,
Spex died - he ate too much