My brother and I thought it would be fun to see how high we could make the thermometer go. So we boiled some water on the stove. And the thermometer melted. Hi, would you like some mercury with your potatoes?

These days they'd get hazmat. I don't remember if we told mom or not. I know we still used the pan.

Don't worry, the amalgam in the bottom of the pan protects you from lead-poisoning.

I HATED the slathering of Vaporub my mom used to douse me in whenever I had a cold/cough/flu/ear infection. Rubbing it on my chest felt nice, but she'd also rub it on my back (to better sink into my lungs), under my nose (so I could breathe it in) and behind my ears. (???) It just left me feeling yucky rather than healed.

Mercurochrome...meh.

Merthiolate...piffle.

Wanna get really mean?

Castor oil.

:greenface:greenface:greenface

Suppositories.

[RonWhite]...grandmother, she gave me suppositories. She'd take these big, gigantic ass-pills, and shove these things up my ass. For everything. And I hated it.

At first.[/RonWhite]

bwaaahahahahahahahaha

Ron White is one funny futhermucker!

"I had the right to remain silent. But I did not have the *ability*." He cracks me the hell up.

**shivers**

I once bit down on and broke a mercury thermometer. *GAH* Sometimes I get a powerful but fleeting taste memory, and it's nasty.

This is my wife's cure-all.

Attachment 41768

It's a:
dinner knife,
sandwich maker,
food lump masher,
plate scrapper,
letter opener,
jar opener,
package opener,
screwdriver,
hammer,
saw,
paint scrapper,
putty knife,
garden trowel,
string cutter,
wire cutter,
pumpkin carver,

YFTL

Gangrenous limb remover

Achy and sore? Soak in a tub of the hottest water you can stand, with a couple cups of epsom salts mixed in.

Ahhhhh............

Works every time. :)

They even make Epsom salt lotion now, if you can't afford to waste time lounging in the tub.

My mother's cure all was the cheapest: rub it.

Fell down and hurt your knee? Rub it.

have a tummy ache? Rub it.

have an earache? put a hot wash cloth to your ear and ...rub it.

Chemo hurting your bones? Rub them.

My surgeon- the carotid artery where I put the long end of the port? Rub it.

My surgeon- breast/arm swelling? Rub it.


Fell off a chair and broke my coccyx? Rub it.

We had more money than you growing up. We were to rub dirt on it.

Ha! Who knew that 7:30 in the morning on a holiday was prime time comedy hour? :)

When the inch was teething and my dad was still alive, my dad told me to go down to the drugstore and get some Paregoric and rub it on the baby's gums.

When I was growing up it was right next to the syrup of ipecac.