The Cellar - I can't do this anymore

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- - I can't do this anymore (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=28650)

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 852867)

I do speak up. I've been speaking up, over and over, to every tom, dick, and consultant they've brought in since the Reign of Terror ended. I try to explain calmly that they have me spread too thin. The attitude I get back is that I'm not trying hard enough. And if you're really dumb (smart) you can do one or two things and spread them out through the day and get praised for being so on the ball.

Right now I can't concentrate. Someone wants this report (and there are a million problems) and these emails need to go out (thousands of them according to our pre-audit) and they're all fucked up and not working and every single person on earth is asking me about them. I have to once again fix my time sheets from my Cuckoo's Nest time because she keeps saying they're wrong so I have to try to find all my electronic leave requests and figure out if any really ARE missing (and the online form isn't letting me edit so I keep creating NEW forms) and L wants the COPC report that is also going wonky. I can't keep my head on one thing. And I have to go through the 200 pre-audit files to prove that NO they didn't get the fucked up cancellation letters (just another stupid "dear student just in case we haven't told you five hundred times you have the right to cancel this loan if you decide you don't want a big screen TV" which don't work right either and as it's all programmed behind the scenes in some bunker called IT where they look at you like you're stupid like all tech support people do. And also prove that they DID get the goddam notification letters because they get sent out daily...if not daily FOR every day for students who have accepted a loan...it's all right there but I've had to explain three different times that we are talking about two entirely different emails.

And I've got PTSD about asking for help anyway due to the Reign of Terror, and I figured something out: when I started NO ONE was doing this job, and my ex boss threw everything at me that never worked right, that we've never been compliant on.

BUT NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THESE THINGS. If Polly Wolly can plan an event for 60 people and also talk a lot about stuff she doesn't know...well she's a real go-getter. Monkey is a lazy complainer who is fucking up EVERYTHING. So I ask for help. "God you look stupid. Are you stupid? Why can't you answer my question? Do you know anything at all?"

So, don't tell them those things. This might want to make you throw up right now, but when someone asks you for yet another thing, just smile and say, "Sure, we'll get that done."

It doesn't have to be all in a perky way or anything, just kind of smiley. And if they ask when it will be done, but you aren't sure, say "...I'll take a look at that for you and let you know very soon!"

If someone comes up to you kind of annoyed, because they've been waiting awhile for the thing they want/need, say "I am so, so sorry. Things have been a little crazy around here, but it's in the works."

This won't solve everything of course, but the more reassured that people feel (even temporarily), the less likely they will hound you and throw negativity your way. It will help calm things down around you, and allow you to organize your stuff. For reals, try it out.

When asked to do several hundred things at once I would look at my boss and say, "You know no one can possibly do all that in 8 hours/40 hours/whatever. So. What is YOUR PRIORITY here? What would you like first, then second and I'll let you know when the third thing can be started but I need your priorities. Surely you know one nurse to ten patients hooked up to IV's and chest tubes takes such and such time...even a doofus would know that" then smile.

Or, craft a plan to quit while getting the most benes. You can live on welfare and food stamps for three months till the other money kicks in---it's hard but with friends and family you can do it. When can you take your 200 hours of vaca? Why haven't you taken it? Do you want to cash it in and need to wait a certain amount of time? I always took my vaca immediately so never had any banked.

And termination doesn't guarantee unemployment benes; though you know that.

PLAN. then do it. LEAVE. You are working in a hostile environment. take THAT to the fucking HEAD of the college. The BIG BOY. I never fussed around with middle management bullshit types when things went wrong (I mean I would go to them once so I could say "yes, i followed the chain of command") but I ALWAYS got the head honcho to hear my story. Even when I worked for the state. I said, and I quote, "You are all thugs." too bad, so sad, glad you're mad. In five months of my leaving that place closed. HA!

I had hoped that 'this time' things would get better. I haven't totally counted that out, but I also haven't counted out that this could be my last day.

Vacation time accrues with every pay period. I never had many times where I could say "it would be a good time to take some vacation" and hence I would instead get sick (both physically and mentally) and take sick time. Now, it seems, I can't even use 15 min. personal time if I happen to be late (and I'm typically here earlier than a lot of folks who live like two minutes away...and I have that long commute through the gauntlet to hell.)

So, after today, you're right. I need to make plans. I will undoubtedly take a pay cut. I will undoubtedly not have the bennies I get here. There's the rub. Money isn't everything, I know I know I know...but living paycheck to paycheck had its own stressors.

I ran into the woman that the Reign of Terror put through the ringer before getting rid of her (I haven't been through anything like what they put her through...it was sinful) and she told me she was so beat down before she left here that she's taking baggage to her new work, without realizing she's doing it at first. However, she is very happy and has a new career and even looks better.

I'm doing better, but I know I have a long way to go. I will bide my time here for a while, because I need to keep working on my coping...until I feel strong enough for leaving. If they accelerate that process by popping a cap in my ass, I will deal with that...but that offers a little more freedom and hope for compensation than me walking out.

Blue, I do try that. I mean, it is what it is (I know, cliche) and I can't do more than I can do...but that doesn't mean much if they don't acknowledge it. They think I'm just sandbagging.

The interim Dir seems to be an advocate for me. That could be illusion: he could just be THAT good...but if he is the person he seems to be I *think* he is picking up what I'm throwing down.

So thanks again everyone for putting up with my continued rants. I knew that there would be no easy fixes, but I still get very overwhelmed, and feel scared (of the unknown of losing this job) and am wracked with anxiety. But I'm doing better. Venting here has helped more than y'all could know. Hearing others' stories helps more than I can say.

p.s. the precious minutes spent typing this were while waiting for the results of a test run on one of my processes I'm trying to fix...so work is actually occurring as I type...as it usually is. :o

You'll get through this infi and you will find something better.

Sorry, I don't have any awesome advice for you. All the other cellarites have said pretty much everything.

All good advice, Infi. In the meantime do some meditation (OOOhhhmmm) or drugs. :p:

I have tons of medication. Oh, you said 'meditation.' Ahhh well, I've killed two boids with one stoned.

Hahahha: so would THIS make you paranoid? Int Asst Dir: will you be here until 5? Yes, I will. OK, just checking.

Huh?

Granted, almost everybody and their dog takes Fridays off, and the rest wander out about 1:00, and I DO have to cover for all of them up front (another way they've helped me fix things and do my job (not)...give me TWO days a week to cover their every whim, when traditionally NO ONE ever had more than one back up day a week, and get nothing else done.) That's probably what it's about, but it may be the start of Infinite Monkey's Excellent Adventure.

Yeah, that's almost certainly just a coverage question. She probably assumed others were going to be there until 5 and they surprised her by announcing they were leaving early, so now she's just checking everyone.

Short interesting piece on quitting.

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate...-quit-your-job

Calculating abandonment!

I LOVE it!

Do that!!!!!

File all the papers you need to file to let them know about the hostile work environment, the personal harassment, the public dressing downs, etc.

Then mention Dyer, Garofalo, Mann and Schultz. I told this to a woman at a hosp. they were trying to fire and SHE GOT THEM AND SHE WON!!! I shit you not.

ALWAYS get the TIGER on your side. :tigersmilie: Just a phone call from them scares the snot out of people. I thought they only did personal injury though.

I've documented just about everything. And...FMLA. I would have faith in my chances if it ever came to that. But I hope it doesn't. Think 'm stressed now? Can you imagine me in a courtroom? Then again, you pretty much hand it all over to the lawyers, not unlike "letting go and letting god." ;)

Thanks for that article, Griff. Really hits home!

Quote:

Like scientists over rats in a maze, companies condition us to stay by implementing variable reinforcement schedules. That’s a behavioral psychologist’s way of describing how corporations drop bonuses, promotions and other rewards into our career paths at unscheduled intervals, enticing us to remain long enough to grab the next pellet. People are also premature optimizers: we’re generally accustomed to making small tweaks to our professional lives, rather than big leaps. Engineers call this the “local maxima” problem: as we busily scale the peak we’re on, we miss entirely the higher mountain nearby.

Breathe... concentrate on the air coming in thru your nose hold it for a micro second then let it all out thru your mouth > lather rinse and repeat! :)

PM us your boss's (all of them) emails and we can send them this article....

http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-...src=RSS_PUBLIC

Quote:

WebMD News from HealthDay

By Robert Preidt
HealthDay Reporter

THURSDAY, Feb. 14 (HealthDay News) -- Abusive bosses not only cause misery for the employees they target, but they also poison the work environment for the victims' co-workers, a new study indicates.

The "secondhand" effects caused by abusive bosses can lead to job frustration, abuse of other co-workers and questions about the company's support of employees, according to the researchers. The behavior of bully bosses -- such as publicly criticizing and ridiculing workers or giving them the silent treatment -- is a type of dysfunctional leadership.

"Although the effects of abusive supervision may not be as physically harmful as other types of dysfunctional behavior, such as workplace violence or aggression, the actions are likely to leave longer-lasting wounds, in part, because abusive supervision can continue for a long time," study author Paul Harvey, an associate professor of organizational behavior at the University of New Hampshire, said in a university news release. Co-workers of the victims of abusive bosses experience long-term negative effects, according to the survey of 233 people who work in a wide range of jobs in the southeastern United States.

The study authors said that seeing or being aware of a co-worker being bullied by a boss is called "vicarious supervisory abuse." It includes things such as hearing rumors of abusive behavior by a boss, reading about such behaviors in an email or actually witnessing a fellow worker being bullied by a boss.
"When vicarious abusive supervision is present, employees realize that the organization is allowing this negative treatment to exist, even if they are not experiencing it directly," the researchers wrote.

The study was published recently in the Journal of Social Psychology.
The findings suggest that the harm caused by an abusive boss can spread beyond the targeted workers and affect many other employees. Top managers need to be aware of the potential widespread impact of abusive bosses and take action to prevent it or reduce its effects, the researchers concluded.

I take it you aren't in a union Infi?