I'll research some good comebacks, but most of the short people I know wrestled and were charming. The ones that weren't charming would just sucker-punch (or head-butt if you are British) the commenter then proceed to go completely apeshit on him until they were pulled off. End of comments. for. ever.

In a similar vein, when it comes to comebacks they have to be swift and decisive, almost always leading to stuff like "Your mother/sister/girlfriend didn't think I was short last night." Then he has to follow that up with an ass kicking, probably.

The whole thing has to be very first and second chakra, don't bother appealing to their purported intellect.

Wait, what? That's got to be a regional definition. To me, a sucker punch is an unprovoked/unexpected punch with the fist.

Yes, a sucker punch as I mean it is an unexpected punch with the fist usually to the head. I think the Brits employ a headbutt where we would employ a suckerpunch. i.e. A surprise attack. Not to mean the terms or actions are synonymous, just parallel.

Ah, it must be those stiff upper lips that cause them to prefer headbutting.

AKA the Glasgow Kiss.