ours does the opposite, tries to send you through fields on roads that were never built/completed. And finds our lack of faith disturbing.

Tech issues:
1) I will not use voice interfaces. Siri is the first thing I disable on a phone. The idea of Alexis gives me the creeps let alone being in a house that uses it. The human voice is too intimate to share with our AI masters.
2) I generally have zero interest in new functionality.
3) Give me a new interface and you've ruined my day. I learn only what I need to about the systems I use, there is no explore or get familiar with.

It has become apparent that I am not future man.

I'm with you on #1 except for in the car. "ok google navigate home"

The boss has alexa all over. The office had to learn to say "alexa stop" in his office door whenever the alarm goes off and he's not there. Which is, you know, almost every day. "alexa shut the fuck up" also works.

Does it? That's hilarious.

Echo is an alternate name for alexa.

yeah. that's weird

1) The length of the individual digits of my left and right hands are not equal (for example, my left pinky is not equal in length to my right pinky) however the sum of the length of the digits on each hand is equal to the other.

2) When planning a project of moderate-to-severe importance, I sequence the events as a series of tasks which can be described with an acronym. If the acronym does not take the form of a palindrome, I whisper the project scope into a glass jar, leave it out overnight, and at dawn of the next day I observe the frost patterns on the jar for signs that indicate whether I'm over-complicating things.

3) I did not pass through normal developmental phases as a toddler. I began walking, but never crawled. I didn't begin speaking until I was able to form complete sentences.

These are both common for folks on the spectrum, my friend. :)

:thumb:

1) I have an obsessive need to own analogue synthesizers, despite the fact that I cannot actually *play* them in anything but a rudimentary fashion. Fortunately, they've gotten a lot more affordable thanks to modern technology.

2) I have no real conception of my age beyond the physical deterioration. I still feel and think the same as I always remember feeling and thinking. In my mind, I'm still sixteen or something.

3) I have habitually twisted and squished my ears since I was an infant. Like some people twist their hair or suck their thumbs, I'm an ear squisher. This has resulted in my ears looking as though I was a boxer or a wrestler, and I have, in fact, been asked about that dozens of times throughout my life.

But in
But in the town it was well-known when he got home at night
his fat and psychopathic wife would THRASH HIM within inches of his life

We don't need no education.

all of this, but especially #1

Oooh that reminds me, the nail beds on my right hand are significantly longer than those on my left, especially the pinkie finger. this is my new #2, the old one is toast

NSFW (?)
 

Nail beds, huh? Kinky.