ummm...no

ever wondered who gave you the rash?

Nope. It was Slang. He caught it in the Philippines.:worried: But not from Luisa.


Did you ever have to fight off somebody's dog which was trying to sniff your crotch?

Yes.

Have you ever worn an bicycle inner tube while overseas....just to make sure? :)

Yes

Have you ever smuggled something across a dangerous national border?

Yes. Have you ever been strip searched?

No

Have you ever searched a stripper?

No.

Have you ever stripped a searcher?

NO

Have you ever gone to see a male stripper?

*ahem*

YES!

Have you ever flashed an officer of the law to get out of a speeding ticket?

Yes (Flashed my pearly whites. It worked. She gave me a warning.)

Have you ever started a fire that got out of control?

No.

Have you ever had a threesome?

Yes.

Have you ever participated in an orgy?

how many does it take to make an orgy?

I'd say nine--4 girls, 4 guys and YOU.

then no.

have you ever rubbed one out while driving?

Driving in real life or does a video game count?

in a car

Then no.

Have you ever stolen something from your employer (besides time)?

OMG, yes. Turns out, it was a felony.

Have you ever lied FOR NO REASON?

yes. Have you ever tried to fart and made poopies instead?

yes (blessed be the 1st dry fart after the squits)

have you ever 'spackled' a toilet stall at a public place and left it?

NO (ick)

Have you ever seriously contemplated the fact that you might REALLY be insane?

No...don't need to think too much about it.

Have you ever seriously contemplated whether or not someone else has lost their marbles?

Yes.


Have you ever been the only person who thought something should be done about the aforementioned nutcase so that everybody in their family had an excuse to turn on you instead? (Mari is inelligible for this one)

(I'm cheating, but no, I know for certain that I'm not 100% sane. I have the paperwork to prove it, too.)

Back on track.

No. But I have thought that something needed to NOT be done, so as to continue diverting their family from myself.

Have you ever gotten inordinately annoyed at a TV Show/Movie because they mis-represented an insanity that you are very familiar with? (Either through personal experience, or by being close to someone with personal experience)

Yes. Frequently.

Have you ever sent a gushing, adolescent fan letter to anyone famous, after you were out of adolescence?

Yes. Sometimes we end up corresponding but then I accidentally say something bizarre and end up feeling they must think I am insane.

Have you ever waited in a line to get someone's autograph?

No.

Have you ever heard a songbird chirping in the rain at 2am and wondered if someone was playing a joke on you

No

Ever have an orgasm in a classroom?

Hey! No fair! :D

Back on track:

NO

Have you ever had an orgasm in church?

Nope *lightning strike*
<--- but yer definately asking the wrong person ;)

Have you ever streaked a public place? (but I guess streaking and public place is implied :) )

No



Have you ever ate out of a trashcan?

No.

Have you ever had an orgasm in a trashcan?

No

Have you ever checked out a library book with NO intention of ever returning it?

NO (although I've ended up not returning some for various reasons :blush: )
Have you ever checked out a bunch of books on someone else's card and returned them overdue just for spite?

no

have you ever had an orgasm in a library because you returned overdue books that belonged to a crazy person in your family that wrote letters to famous people?

Yes.

Have you ever lied in an answer to this thread?

no.

do you floss regularly?

yes

Have you ever been embarrassed during sex by choking on a pubic hair?

No (wasn't embarrassing)

Do you trim your pubic hair?

Yes, with a weedwacker.

Okay, that was a lie. No, I do not trim my bush.

Do you ever feel like horrible things happening somewhere else to some other faceless people doesn't affect you at all?

yes

Have you stopped beating your wife?

No.

Did you have sex with that woman?

Yes.

Have you ever committed robberyb against a McDonalds?
well, have ya?

No.

Should the rules be changed for this thread such that no one can answer until it is yes?

No

I was toying with the idea that the question you ask should have the same answer as you just posted above. Even if that's not the way it's played some of the responses are a lot funnier if you read them with that assumption.

Do you still give food you don't like to the dog with the excuse that you're spoiling him rather than admit you don't really like liver?

yes.

Do you still lie to yourself RE: your own (deluded) importance?

It isn't possible...I *am* that important. Humpf. Delusional, indeed.

I mean...yes! I am deluded.

Do you ever wish that something bad would happen to an ex?

Yes. But only as a wake-up call, heh heh


Do you rationalize about slacking off and not getting anything meaningful done at work because you don't like your job or your employer?

duh... yes.

Have you ever overcharged your employer?

Yes, but they deserved it for underpaying me previously.

Have you ever plotted revenge against an employer?

no. I'm self employed.

Did you ever wonder if being self employed really IS better?

No. Writing that check for medical insurance of $845 per month can change your mind quickly.



Have you ever gone to bed with your employer?

yes

last time my gf was on vacation.

yes, i was with your gf last time she was on vacation

have you ever smoked so much choof that you hallucinate a tv commercial that wouldnt come out for 2 weeks?

no... don't smoke it

have you ever forgotten to add the question on this thread following the answer due to PWI?

I did

no (also i cant stand smoking it at all anymore)

have you ever started a thread on the cellar just to see if you could get more than 10 pages so it looks like youve made a difference to the best forum on the net?

NO

Do your friends affectionately call you, "Suck Up"? ;)

No. Never.... Anyway, I don't have friends anymore...just wife and kids.

Have you ever decided to duck out work to work on something else?

Yes, and I got caught too :blush: I called in sick so that I could take a part in a movie that was being filmed in Albuquerque. Then I had to explain to everybody how I managed to show up in the Movie of the Week.


Have you ever caused an accident in the office which was so spectacular or messy that the story will go down in folklore? Extra points if the building had to be evacuated.