ok the finger smashing story.


One day I was using a labeler. It is a little square box that looks like the game cube. It was on a rolling table and I had the scanner part of it in my right hand I crouched on the floor spreading my left hand out onto the carpet. I was hating that job so much I felt like all my negative energys built up so much that, that box took a leap right down onto my left middle finger. I knew I smashed it but I wasn't prepared for what I saw when I looked at it. The tip of my finger was gone! My fingernail hung by a tiny bit of flesh. In my shock all I could think about is how perfect our fingernails look. "Just like those fake ones in the box' I said to myself. I held my finger tight and went to the phone and paged for emergency assistance. I walked to where the help was comming. I looked at my finger and just about passed out. There was the tip of my finger bone poking out. .....




The rest is history. Once the shock wore off I was in alot of pain. I asked people to go look for my finger. I guess there was a bunch of them looking for it. My boss drove me to the hospitail and stayed there the whole time. I got stitched up, drugged up and fortunatly my finger was still there. It had just shatterd and split. My nail grew back. My finger is flatter than the others but I think I grew my finger back quite well. I can almost trim that nail too which is really exciting.

oh yuck Sky, that sounds awful.

I have been the searcher of a finger, but never lost one thankfully.

Thanks ducks..it's all 'o tay' now. :)



umm so ducks did you ever find a finger ? To find someone elses finger would be something really more yukky than yuk.

I drive a bus for my day job. A drunk got on recently, looked at me after he paid his fare, smiled, and said "how would you like a punch in the face?" I paused with a pensive look omy face, and replied "I don't think I'd like it very much". He said "oh, ok" and went to sit down.
Man, I could write a book with the stuff that happens every day. Better yet, I'll just keep adding to this thread! :D

I've been wondering when they're going to put those thick plexiglass shields, like they have at check cashing places, around bus drivers? :(

That wouldn't be passenger-friendly. It would only make sense to protec the drivers from the crazies. Can you detect my sarcasm? ;)

Yesterday was one of those extraordinarily bad days that luckily we only have about one of each quarter.

This was just plain bad. I even had a freakout (which consisted of me yelling for about five minutes "That's it, I'm fucking done, I'm not fucking seeing another fucking person, I've had it, I can't take anymore, etc."), after which my dear ambulanceboi said, "Are you done, Momma?" and I said, "Yes," and went back to working.

But that's not my story of weirdness.

My night started with a woman who was screaming and yelling, and basically unhappy with coming to see me. She had even gotten loose from handcuffs in the back of a police car, and had swung the empty cuff around like a medieval morning star. She was eventually subdued and restrained to a litter.

I was helping out with trying to get her medicated.

She continued to shriek and struggle, wasn't allowing us to pull her pants down far enough to roll her and shoot her in the ass. It was a good sized target, too. As we are trying to pull her stretch pants down her hips a bit, I had a very surreal little moment.

All of a sudden I realized ... this lunatic and I are wearing the same underwear.

And there's three more days 'til the full moon. I'd wear a thong until then, if I were you.

Thanks Wolf, I needed that!

Okay, I have been resisting the desire to post this. I am a paralegal. One day a few months ago, while talking with a client, she proceeded to show me the results of her most-recent surgical procedure. A boob job. She lifted her shirt, pulled down her bra, and showed me her new big boobs. I still can't believe it!!!

I want your job.

holy crap wolf, i think i'll stop complining about my job now ;)

Are you a guy or a girl?

I left out the part where she spit at me, just in case you needed an additional reason not to do what I do.

Pull down my pants and you might get spit at again, from a different angle.;)

Murmetz = Female.

:)

Just to be clear, was this at all job-related? I mean, was she suing her surgeon or something like that?

Good God, no - that might make sense. She was just proud of her new boobs. My boss (male) was extremely jealous. . .

Weird ain't it , chicks that just got boob jobs will show and have another girl FEEL their recent additions , but let a guy try and they get all weird ??!!??!!??

To be totally honest, there was another party in the room (female). She actually poked at the new boobs, and said "don't they look great?!?! Do you want to touch them?"

(For the record, I didn't touch OR WANT TO TOUCH. . .)

I would have....just out of curiousity.....like a science experiment......or the Franklin Institute's "Please Touch" museum....so I could report back to you people, the results....it's my duty.....:D

I had a young lady (HA!) get on my bus Friday evening, wearing a skirt, high heels, clearly going downtown to party. Sat right at teh bak of the bus and spent the whole trip with her legs spread - no panties. Sometimes I wish the rear view mirrow wasn't so damn big :o

LOL wow. I mean, I know all kinds of people have crazy things that happen to them at work. I'm just glad you guys share. I like to laugh. Thanks Guys.

I'm pretty sure the only connection between "Please Touch' and fi.edu is that Please Touch is across the street. At least that used to be the case.

The Franklin Institute was a fixture of my youth and a profound influence on me; I was a student member for ages. It's been excruciating to watch the Professional Museum Fundraisers^h^h^h^h^h^h People turn the place into a goddamned theme park over the years.

The last straw for me was when they tossed W3AA out. I'll never go there again.

Okay, I'll bite: what was the W3AA?

W3AA (oringinally licenced in 1952 as W3TKQ) was a public demonstration amateur radio station.

In the 1960's:
http://www.phil-mont.org/w3tkqSmall.jpg

More recently:
http://www.phil-mont.org/images/w3aa_sm.jpg

W3TKQ/W3AA history

The Phil-Mont Mobile Radio Club

Why, did he want big boobs, too?

Yeah, in his face.

I miss the airplane. That was my definition of coolness. Not quite up there with the Nazi sub of my favorite childhood museum, but good.

I assume you mean the 707? There was also the T-33 inside (still there last I knew). Before the T-33 there was a P-47 Thunderbolt in the same space. Amelia Earhadt's Lockheed Vega was there too, as was a (flyable) Wright Flier Model B; both have since gone to NASM.

Yes, the 707 that was parked outside. One of my friends had a row of seats from that plane installed as the back seat of his car.

I've watched a sergeant shoot himself in the foot while showing a group of privates how to clear a weapon (i.e., how to make sure there's no rounds left inside)...
I've seen an IED go off dead center on a Humvee- the glorious thing being that the moron who set it used an illumination artillery round instead of a high-explosive one, thus treating us all to a harmless, but pretty, fireworks show.
The best one, though, has to be the marine who accidentally discharged an anti-tank missile over/across an air field while giving a class on how to use it. (The thing has something like 6 safeties on it).

(By the way, the soldier/marine above are two of the very few exceptions, not the rule. Or we'd all be dead, of course.)

Has anyone ever seen the clip of a couple police officers who had apparently just arrested someone and brought him into the station, only to find that they didn't pat him down, the officer leaves the room and the man blows his head off?

That was posted in the video thread....or the links thread, but I think the former. :cool:

Oh! good to know Bruce, thank you.

We love that one at work. Very good lesson on making sure you search someone before you bring them in.

My old extension number at work was 1181 and all the Directory Enquiries numbers in the UK start with 118. So if people forgot to press 9 for an outside line and just started dialling, they'd come through to me. Somehow they'd miss the part where I answered with my name and "Medicines Management Team" and roll straight into asking me for telephone numbers.

I came back from annual leave once to find a message from a woman who was sectioned. She'd obviously managed to get access to the internal telephone system. She was marvellously lucid and explained that she'd called me to get the telephone number for the BBC, but as I was on the line she wanted to warn me of a few things, namely that the world was going to end in 48 hours.

She explained that as I was being so helpful, she could save me, and a couple of my friends if I wanted. She knew famous people - the Royal Family & Phil Collins were mentioned - and the Beastie Boys were on their way to pick her up in their private plane, and that's how we would be saved. She not only correctly named the 3 Beastie Boys but also used my name throughout the message (something that genuine callers never seem to get right, leaving messages for Kerry, Gerald, Carol etc).

This was mixed in with complaints about how she was being treated on the ward (they drugged her in order to steal from her apparently). The message cut out after a while, I think she would have been happy to continue for much longer.

There used to be a website of messages from a psych hospital inpatient left with one of the state-level libertarian party offices. I miss those.

Got the following e-mail this morning:

Gotta watch those spell checkers.

LOL....just incase his not showing up for work 'causes you to lose control of your bodily functions...

thanks for the laugh...i needed one...

A student was appealing her financial aid awards, for a legitimate reason, stating that she wouldn't have as much income this year as last due to the fact that her ex husband had to do a lot of catching up on his child support the previous year. According to her, her ex was "no longer in the rears."

I bet he wasn't, Bob!!

Don'tcha love it??? Our last phone system (a Merlin Legend from AT&T/Lucent/Avaya/whatever the hell their name is this week, for those keeping score at home) allowed you to put all your phone menus in spanish by dialing *792 . It just so happens that at our site 7929 is the internal extension for voice mail. Every once in a while somebody would brush the * on their way to the 7 with mildly amusing results.

Perhaps second only to the tough-guy gangsta narc who's lecturing to a bunch of Miami kids about how dangerous guns are and how he's "de only person in dis room po'fesssnul enough to handle this Glock" (with a dramatic thumbing of the slide release) who then *immediately* proceeds to negligent-discharge the thing into his own foot.

He tries to shine it on for a few minutes, but when he decides he's going to show them an AK and everybody yells "no!" and ducks, he realizes it's time to bring the presentation to a close.

After he was fired, he sued DEA in pro se for leaking the video and ruining his reputation...

Gosh...idiot...but, you can pretty much sue for anything these days huh? Er, well, that's the way it seems.

Well I don't know that this is weird. Just stupid.

I needed to order some telephones. So I dropped an email to our sales rep at a particular company and he ordered them for me. (We have a special corporate account with this company. For reasons that make no sense to me our special corporate price is sometimes much higher than the prices in this company's retail stores; when this happens, I have to complain to our sales rep and he manually places the order some way that gets around this problem--what a stupid arrangement. Don't get me started. But that was the deal with these phones.) These are pretty generic basic $25 speakerphones, suitable for placement in a lounge, hallway, or other public area where they may be subject to vandalism or theft.

When my 8 telephones arrived today, they turned out to be non-basic four-line phones with built-in answering machines. At $185 a pop.

I swear, some days I want to lock all my vendors in a room and see who comes out alive.

So, you take a couple of days off work. Should be pretty simple, right? Not a chance.

Within 2 minutes of walking into the office on your first day back, the boss hands you a newspaper clipping without further comment. You recognize the style as that of the police reports of the local paper.

The article explains that one of your coworkers has been arrested for attempting to solicit sex with a minor on the internet. Of course, the 'minor' was actually an adult from one of those groups that goes out baiting traps for people stupid enough to try something like that.

Said coworker is about the last person on your list of people stupid enough to try something like that.

Said coworker is also about the last person on your list of people stupid enough to try something like that from a computer at work.

Admit it - it was you, wasn't it, Anonymous.

OK, not weird I guess. Just stupid.

I ask you, if you are a sales droid, and you're calling people to try to sell your stuff, how many times will you leave a voice mail with the same person, who NEVER returns your call, before you determine that maybe this person doesn't want to buy your product? (I admit it. We have caller ID. I always google outside numbers I don't recognize. This practice has cut the number of cold sales calls I answer waaaaay down.)

I NEVER answer an outside number I don't recognize, and I don't return calls when a cold calling sales droid leaves a message. Some of them have learned that calling the receptionist and being transferred can sometimes work, so now I don't answer calls from the receptionist. It sucks. I let her leave a message, and then I call her right back if it's actually her calling. I kind of shake my head in admiration at some of them. They don't give up.

I used to work for a software company that made screenwriting and story dev. software.
One day a guy came into our offices and asked me if i knew where he could find an attorney to take his case. He wanted to sue the writers and producers of the film "The Devil's Advocate" because he said they got the story from actual events in his own life.
That would mean he was the son of satan and an attorney. :worried:

I will if they're actually selling something I want to buy. It usually doesn't end happily (the last time I did this was when I was looking for a T1, and he told me if I had my network set up properly I really didn't need more than 5 IP addresses) but once in a while something interesting comes of it. My current nemeses are somebody with a training company, and one selling Nortel PBXs.

On our system if the receptionist transfers the call and then lets it go I still get to see the caller ID of the outside caller. And they usually do this because they can tell it's a sales call and they don't feel an urge to stay on the line and say, "Hi Steve, Mr. Farkleston from Amalgamated Network Widgets is on the line."

...mmmmmmm...amalgamated network widgets....

Someone befouled the watercooler by pissing in it. He had removed the 5 gallon bottle first, and then decided that he was thirsty (or wanted more ammo for his gun) and drank directly from the nearly full bottle.

This was after he ripped two phones out of the wall and tore down all of the pictures and signage in the lobby, including the mission and vision statements, some artwork, and the EMTALA notice which is required by federal law to be posted at all times.

Sometimes it doesn't pay to tell a guy with Severe Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, "No, Mr. Johnson, you can't have a cigarette because if you smoke, you will die. You aren't allowed to die here."

You should work in a looney bin, Wolf.

What?

You do?

Oh.

Interesting words chosen...Sounds very Victorian ...

Imagine all of your patients with polite accents and dry humor...

I'm saving this idea, seems useful.

A co-worker?

No, because the coworkers don't make a big deal of it when they piss in the water cooler.

I cashiered last night and we were at a low point in business. One man came up bought coffee and wanted a double chocolate cookie.
Customer:"As if I'm not getting fat enough on all the chocolate I've been eating"
Me, "Chocolate's an aphrodesiac, so it can't be all bad"
Customer,"Well in that case I'll take the whole stack in case I get lucky other than with my hand."
Me: start to laugh, register what he just said, choke laugh, finish his transaction. "Thank you have a good night"
Customer: "Oh I will if what you say is true"




OMG WOW. I was so shocked that he would drop a comment like that to someone he's never seen before. He was atleast 10yrs older then me.