Without making this all mememe:

My collagues at my main job (here) are all married with children. They are also on approx 3x my salary, which shouldn't make a difference, but it does in terms of the things they do with their spare time. I have to save up to do the things they see as spontaneous.

My colleagues at my Saturday job are more varied:
- the shop's owners. Lovely people but quite insular. Don't usually go out except with friends they have known for years who are also married with children - I am hired to babysit (which I appreciate)
- 60yo rock chick, who makes me laugh now, but drove me fruitloop for the 1st year I knew her. She stage manages a band and took me to a couple of gigs. I had a brief fling with the bass-player who was sexy but stupid and now I just go to her house for dinner.
- 16yo girl - nuff said. A sweet girl but not socialising material!
- Chinese graduate - v intelligent, killing time til (Chinese) bf graduates. Much younger than me & have never heard her talk about socialising

Please believe me, I'm not dismissing any viable sources of introduction. My friend & I actually fell out over this. After splitting up with his GF (and I was there for him every weekend despite being in a state myself) we talked and talked about forging a new social life together and how good it would be for both of use. He then got a girlfriend & ignored me after 4 years of friendship.

This is not in the nature of a complaint - just an explanation about why it is hard for me to meet people. I am more than open to Dwellars questioning this - there might be something I am genuinely not considering.

ANYWAY - if I'm ever in Philly I'll look you up ;)

That'd be nice, there are a bunch of us right around here - I wish I could somehow help. *hug*

I know what you are saying SG. I have opportunities to meet people because of work, etc. but I don't meet many who are really on my wavelength. I also HATE dating...I never did like it. I don't get the concept really. If I am interested in someone it usually works out that we just end up hanging out together...none of that "we went on 3 dates and we didn't click" or "this might turn into something" or anything like that. Too much pressure, too much stress, and I am basically not interested in that way of starting a relationship. My relationships normally start out as friendships, and that means it is someone I have occasion to be around enough (I don't pursue friendships either.)


When I first got divorced, my "friend" was all over me to get onto the dating websites...after all she was doing it and having so much success (not.) That is also not my style and I'd rather be boiled in oil. Her experience only confirmed my feelings. I'm not saying it doesn't work out for some.

I don't feel the need to have a "special someone" in my life at all times. If it happens it happens. If not, OK.

You made me laugh with your hairdresser comment. I hate having to chat it up when I'm getting my hair cut, also. Let me zone, make me gorgeous...I wish we could convey that up front without sounding like an ass!

Yet I do feel that people are interested in what I have to say, most of the time. People do think me unusual, as you said, but I like that. Many have said I wouldn't be me without my quirks, and I am unlike most "normal" people I know.

In any event, I do feel a bond to many people here, on what is perhaps a different level. I think many of us who congregate here are a bit different (in a good way.)

I guess my response got a little windy, too. Thanks for listening.

Not at all - it really helps to know that I'm not a freak! Or at least if I am, I'm in good company here. I'm glad you get where I'm coming from.

I just wish there was a real life Cellar I could hang out in... Get drunk with the party girls sometimes, suck up herbal tea and sage advice at others, listen to the musical Dwellars perform, hang round the edge of the same old arguments about gun control, watch some stand-up cock puppetry etc etc.

But part of what I'm trying to do not is not live inside my own head so much. The daydream of The Cellar Bar is a great one, but I need to accept that the Cellar is (just) a great forum and look for company closer to home.

Does that sound healthy?

You just said what I should have been thinking. I too wish for the Cellar to be a real life place, and I too am trying to get rid of some of my walls.

You sound very healthy, and real. You're very refreshing.

Ok, thats it! We are all gonna have to get together for a major picnic or something of some sort (no weapons allowed) and just hang. I think UT did this a long time ago with a BBQ or something similar. Lets pick a centralized location and make it happen. Who's in?

I think this already happens once a year...

Maybe this should be a project for me! I will make an effort to save in order to come to one. 2008? After all if I can crash at someone's place it needn't cost much more than the airfare & I can save a couple of quid a week.

Hell, I went to San Francisco for 2 days because my ex was at a conference and felt lonely, I reckon I could manage it for a BBQ :)

I would need to save up, too...but I would love to do something like that.
SG, if I win some big money I'll make sure you can fly over...you can always stay with me, or probably some other Cellarite would put us up (or put up with us) for a night or two.

There have been a number of regional meetings, and a couple of years ago we ended up grafted onto Plastic Forks.

Newsflash
I'm sorry, but Plastic Forks, as we know it, is on hiatus until 2007. Please come back next year!



Details, we need details.

Just following the tradition of naming the building levels in the UK -where the first floor is upstairs?

That would make it easy for British elevator software programmers...

Lifts, dear, they're called lifts. ;)

Without being a member of the site you are able to click the "What" "Why" "When" etc. links on the left of the page.

Or, just do a Cellar search for "Plastic Forks."

Or, look here.

Going back to an earlier post - my Mandarin Chinese course has been cancelled. Not enough participants.

Good news because I was beginning to wonder if I'd bitten off more than I could chew after listening to the CD. Bad news because the primary reason for the course was to get out and meet people.

I will have to keep looking at local adverts, see if there is something else I can do instead.

Thought I'd dig this up.

I didn't make a big deal out of it (I hope) but I went speed dating last week.
There were no men that I clicked with, but I did come away with the mobile number of the lady who was sat next to me - thanks to there being almost double the amount of women to men we were able to chat for a while.

We agreed to go out next week, but today in a Sunday magazine I read an article on a club night called Big Girls' Paradise which is held in London once a month. It's next weekend.

I am going to try to persuade her to come to this with me. She is larger than me, so I hope she won't be offended, but it seems ideal. I love to dance - I mean really love to dance - and haven't been to a place that plays mainstream music where I can really let go in ages. I know she is looking for love, but I am really just up for a good time - no euphemism intended. For her, there might be men there who are interested. For me there should be good music, dancing and not feeling out of place.

I have ordered a corset from eBay. Here's hoping it looks good and she agrees. I might go alone otherwise.

I'm back to trying to meet people, can you tell?

Yay SG! Hope you have a fab time! I expect the Cellar guys'll want a picture of you in the corset, eh :rolleyes: ?!

Or out of it. Whatever works.

I have always wanted to get a corset. I found this great website that looks like it has great ones, but a little expensive. www.absolutecorsets.com I want the over the bust kind so that I can wear it like clothes :D

Meetup
Helps groups of people with shared interests plan meetings and form offline clubs in local communities around the world.

This is it (images from eBay - this is not me!)

And thanks for the link Classic - that's a great idea!
I wish I could search by postcode though.

Oh, just remembered I have my own laptop now!
I can go through all the meetings at my leisure tonight...

That's gorgeous, Sundae!

Now I want one.

I Love that corset SG! That is the kind of style that I want! :)

you can search by zipcode, same as postcode methinks

No - we don't get an option for that
London is London acording to Meetup
Still, I've already joined one group and have my eye on another

In other, sadder news - it's highly unlikely I will get my corset in time now
The Magic 8 Ball was right apparently
Am frantically going through what I could possibly wear instead
Nothing that fills me with such glee I'm afraid

if you can't afford that, you can always get one of these: corset necklaces

disclaimer: that's beautiful Daughter No. 1's website.

Lovely work there Cloud!

Okay, not only do I have my corset
But I decided to check out Craig's List as well

I know, I know - but it's a way of meeting people
Have already contacted someone who will be in London in a few weeks
Just a dinner and chat thing

I think that if you want to meet new people and there's a way to do it easily then it doesn't matter what avenue you use.

If you're looking on craigslist then chances are there's other people just as nice as you there too. Don't you think?

As nice as me...?
I'm hoping there's a better class of people than that ;)

But yes - I want to believe that there are honest men who just want dinner and a chat because they're in a strange city. It's not a relationship thing, just a companion thing. And I don't think I'm into random sex any more, even if my libido is waking up. So I can just say no and walk away if that's what they're about.

It's not really caught on in the UK yet - so the people posting are mostly Americans here on business. Suits me - I have years experience of translating now!

Well I don't reckon they get much better than you matey, but I suppose it's possible.

I think you've got the right attitude...and anyway, if you do get a bit of fluff on the side, that'd be ok wouldn't it? Just for shits and giggles... ;)

Just be carefull, we, men are pigs!

My breasts would fall out of that. that's not good is it

For you, maybe not. For us, woo hoo. ;)

Okay - a pic from last night (bottom!).

And me moving.


So

Back to the actual night. It worked in that I felt amazing. I felt like a Queen and I was treated as one. Heads turned when I walked past, I was courted, I was mobbed on the dance floor. But it wasn't me. Not esentially me anyway. I want to be appreciated for who I am, not what I look like. A useful lesson. Fun times, dancing and drinks. But no conversation worth having.

[Photo] Please excuse the expression on my face. HM doesn't seem to get the convention which is, "I'm about to take the picture, smile!" Or the digital courtesy of, "Do you like this? I can always take another."

Thanks for telling us about the experience - I wouldn't have had the nerve! I hope you mean to keep the corset, because when you meet the guy who appreciates you for who you are, he won't be able to believe his luck when he gets to see you in it ;) .

oooh, you look lovely! yay for you!

:( video is no longer available?

Works for me???

Very nice SG! Keep that one.

You look great!! I am so glad you got the corset in time.