slang and wolf really an item? I was thinking this a while ago, but one can never tell.

I was surprised when i found out (just a couple of days ago)...a match made in artillery heaven. :)

Tis indeed true ... I think I told the first date story here elsewhere ... you may recall my tale about the boyfriend who brought a firearm and not flowers. :)

It's love :blush:

:rattat:

:p

:)

So El Syc, diss me again and the laser dot dancing over your forehead may not be mine. Wolf takes care of the long distance work.

Oooh! Using the word "diss." Coming from a redneck like you, I'm mighty impressed. :)

You know, that's a very accurate depiction of slang's and my first date ... :thumb:

I've been working with him to expand his vocabulary and horizons. It's been difficult, but I have a great deal of patience. My professional expertise stands me in good stead here, too ...

What? You shot each other to pieces, stuck your tongues out at each other, then smiled?

You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy.

Well, except for the shot each other to pieces part ... ;)

(we actually have a formal, solemn promise that we will NEVER shoot each other. We left open other ways in which we can kill or cause mayhem, but absolutely no shooting) ;)

At risk of coming across as anything other than a demure young lady ... there was an event involving a firearm, then an event involving tongue, and then lots of smiling. (okay the smiling was pretty much throughout.)

And that's precisely how I like it. "I aspire to be rural," remember?

It's Verbal Advantage for rednecks.......on 8 track, of course.

Nononononono!!! TMI! Take that shit to Yahoo! :)

Really? 8-tracks? That sounds a bit advanced for you folks. Don't you all still use victrolas and reel-to-reel?

It sure does save ya a lot of money on tissues and razors.

(farmers blow snot out their noses over their shoulders and have beards)

Well, hmmm...that's interesting. That description makes you all sound like...the Taliban!

despite a tendency to distrust the govt and stockpile weapons and ammunition, I can assure you that rural gentlemen are nothing like the taliban.

No. They wear towels on their heads, we shave our heads or wear military covers. Or really dirty John Deere ball caps.

And we don't fuck goats......we fuck sheep, like yer spoasta. :D

TMI? But you ASKED ... and I was VERY demure about it. If it went to TMI level then it's YOUR OWN DIRTY MIND THAT TOOK YOU THERE SYCAMORE.

And here I was going to suggest that you take slang along on your expedition to take photographs of naked blonde military pilots. he takes really great pictures, and I think would really enjoy himself.

Hey, "Ham and Cam" that rhymes, did you plan this syc.

my god I go on spring break and the place turns into a frickin' circus. Need to have a couple of beers after reading that thread(wolf and slang, wolf and slang, *shiver* just imagine the carnage).

Ah, yes ... just imagine ... :D but enough of my sweet reverie.

This is where you may come to appreciate our levels of restraint and control.

Also, there's a war on, and I, at least, feel the need to conserve as much ammunition as possible. Saving it for a rainy day or a several weeks long stand off, you know ... that doesn't mean I won't make an exception should I run into anyone who's in need of some bilateral lead therapy.

"slangirlfriend. and damn proud of it, too. :) "

Heh, and I was starting to think Wolf's rural Beau was gonna lose out to ole Slang! Cool.

Little didja know ... 'twas the slangster the whole time. ;)
(actually I was surprised that nobody put it together before now ...)

Demure my azz!

Slang? You up for it? Nudie pics of military chicks?

I figured that slang knew someone here when he mentioned that he had heard of Jag's antics (back in the days when Slang was Mr. Asshole, just before being deposed by Cairo).

Sorry. That would only distract me from the focus of my life right now, getting the fuck out of the shitjob before I euthanise someone. I gotta stay focused.

I'm still Mr Asshole, I just dont communicate that to you guys.

I ain't buying that. You gotta mix a little play in with the work.

And yeah, you're still an asshole...just a kindler, gentler one.

I stand in the mirror with my pistol wearing my dumb assed gas garb and tell people to fuck off pointing the gun at them for fun.

"Yeah fuck head, I'll stamp yer god damned card alright (points gun into the morror)"

"NO, I dont know when the fucking gas is coming down in price"

"Yes, I know it's fucking nasty outside dumbass, I'm standing in the rain"

"No , I wont check yer oil.....fucking grow a pair, will ya"

"I dont really give a monkey fucking rats ass if you are in a hurry, I'm listening to the radio in this earbud.....you got a problem with that!!?"

"Go fuck yerself asslick, yer getting $80 worth of dimes back for change, what were you thinking bringing me a $100 bill at 6:15!?"

"Yeah, go ahead and bitch to the boss, he'll fire me for sure, because people that will show up, can make change and that *havent* been convicted of homocide are lining up at the office to work for $6 bucks an hour......dumbass"

And yes, the career gaspumper I work with, the one that actually busts his ass to get you your gas in a pleasant efficient manner, thinks I am an incredible asshole, as does the boss. For that matter, I'm so miserable everyone I talk to thinks the same.

boss and co-workers: you fuck this up, you fuck that up, you need to do *this*, you need to do *that*....bitch , moan, whine.

slang: (very politely) Let me clarify my role here gentlemen, until I graduate, this will likely be my job, which I do willingly. I am not interested in climbing your "corp ladder" here and I dont care who has seniority, this is a shitjob. The *only* thing I really need to know is when I should stop dragging my ass here to eat your shit sandwhiches. Is there anything I have just said that isn't chrystal clear?

Ok, I'm done whining for tonight. :)

Sycamore: "And that's our show -- biotch!"

Theme music, "Holiday in Cambodia", perfromed by the Chronos Quartet, swells.

Slang: "Oh yeah?" Grunt. Shuffle. *Flick, flick, flick*. "Hnnnnh! ..."

***FOOSH!!!***
***KABLAM!!!***

*Screams, panic, general mayhem*...

Sycamore: "Oh God!!! I'm covered in Slang!"

"Now buy our sponsor's crap so we can avoid real jobs" :)

There's a talk show in St. Louis--Frank O. Pinion during afternoon drive time on KTRS-AM...Goddamn...he's funny. Rather than drawing a salary from KTRS, he makes all his money off his sponsors. And he always works them into his show somehow.

"So, I went to get a new chair for the living room this weekend."

"Where did you get it, Frank?"

"Well, I went to the place with the greatest stuff in town...Gringo Joe's."

We could do shit like that.

"So Syc, what did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, the woman and I went out for cheesesteaks."

"That sounds good? Where'd you git em from?"

"The best damned cheesesteak joint in South Philadelphia...Philip's, at 23rd and Passyunk."

I think you forgot one sweetie ...

"You talkin' to me?"

(yes, I'm watching for the mohawk.)

You could wear the pimpin' coat and use the way cool cellphone. Before long millions of people would want the "stuff Syc uses". :D

Ok, so looks like your fortune is made, how the fuck am I gonna get rich with this?

Open an e-store to sell Officially Licensed Pimpin' Coats(TM) and Pimpin' Wireless(tm), of course!

I thought you were going to sell the advertising space on your forehead.

;)

In addition to your own product endorsements (including Glock, Federal, Carhart, and a heavy equipment company to be named later) there are mutiple merchandising opportunities.

I'll ghostwrite the series of best-selling books and commentary for yah. (you will notice that this is the exclusive province of the conservative member of a lib/cons talk team ... Hannity's selling like hotcakes, nothing from Colmes. Buchanan's making a mint, no books from Press ... wait, my bad. Press DOES have a book. It's even just come out in paperback! Amazon.com sales rank is #70,979. Oops. Just for comparison ... Death of the West's sales rank is 13,186. both books were published within a month of each other, so it's not a matter of time of availability)

There will also be the exciting and educational Slangsurvival video series, in which you share your handy hints for preparing for the coming apocalypse.

The SlanGame, a first-person-shooter, in which you have the opportunity to tote a variety of weapons, make an assortment of funny remarks, hose down coworkers at the SJFH with high-octane fuel, which you THEN set alight by lighting one of your own farts in the asshead's general direction is also sure to be a great hit.

As companion products to the video game, the Slang™ action figure, accessories, and playsets will surely be a big hit with the children. (And why do we do this if NOT "for the children"?)

I'm only getting warmed up here. This is a marketing GOLDMINE. :)

THEN you head down to the bank, cash the checks, and head down to the nice coin merchant down the street. Come home, we bury it in the backyard.

i would totally play that. maybe radar can be the an early game enemy, like the imps in doom. or for a better example, the goombas in super mario bros.

~james

I like it. Slangame will make Sin City look like a sunday school game.

At last a profitable venture for my own brand of rural violent insanity.

How does this tie into the show again? Oh, Syc is wearing the Pimpin' Coat and calling on the Pimpin Cell phone in the game as I am spinning shock and awe in my own game. Gotcha.

Radar's not a good enemy, but he's a *great* irritator. Maybe one of the obstacles in the game can be Radar on a soapbox that you have to knock over to find a key er something.

His words would be like chalk squeeking across a board. Maybe he could throw some mixed drinks on the person trying to uncover the key too.

This could be a great game. Maybe HB could hand people their asses too? We could get everybody in on this. Even Pie. :)

Hey I just thought of some accessories. Everyone playing the game gets an electrode hooked up to them. When yer character takes a hit, ya get a shock. Whaddya think?

That could actually be dangerous to the user later in the game ... because if you light a fart too soon after getting coated in liquor, you could burst into open flame ...

SlanGame would deduct points and life for that.

See Slang...it's not that hard to make the green.

Now then, I will take issue with the whole book thing. Wolf, we're talking ME here. Rank #70,000 my azz. Don't forget that while writing "new liberal" material (I like that...I'm going to start the New Liberal Party), I will also be selling books of my poetry.

And do you think people actually READ those books they're buying right now? They sit on coffee tables to look good.

There isn't any room left on my coffee table for those books ... (yes, even if I move the AK parts off of it).

And I've actaully read all of 'em ... I'm telling you there is a goldmine in them thar pages. You're just jealous because as the token liberal you won't get as lucrative a book deal.

You know how it is ... conservatives read, liberals watch TV.

Because I like you very much, Syc, I'm not even going to start the discussion of sales figures of books of poetry ... even ones by extremely popular poets. (you, of course, would set an entirely new standard and past experience does not apply here).

But don't worry Syc, you still have the Pimpin Coat and Accessories.

Don't be so sure...how much you think Michael Moore will get for his next book? Or either Clinton...for that matter, can you imagine the kind of cash Chelsea Clinton could get for a book about growing up in the White House? Gonzo bucks.

Shit, I'd be happy with a $1-2 mil advance...hell, I'd take $200K at this point. :)