I'm curious. Is it really a good idea to hang a handle like piggy on a kid. I wonder if other kids would seize that and tease her. Also for a little kid it's cute but at what age does it become a liability. I have no clue so I wonder what you think. :confused:

      My own girl-child did something similar when she was four, I think. I called her by name and she, in an accusatory voice, said, "Daddy, you're supposed to call me 'Daughter'." So it's been ever since, she's either 'Daughter' or 'girl-child'.
      Once her mom asked if she was also supposed to call the kid 'Daughter' and the girl says, "No, only my Daddy has to call me that."
      She did relent and tell her mom she could call her 'Daughter' if she really wanted to. I think she was just being kind because her mom acted a bit taken back by her response though.

Kids have their own take on things. I read today where a second grader asked the teacher if she could use the phone to call her Mom. Questioning by the teacher revealed the girl had forgotten her coat at school the day before. The mother told the kid that morning to find her coat and not to come home without it. She couldn't find the coat and wanted to call her Mom and ask where she should go. :)

Found a more recent pic of the kids. It's a great one of the kids, but I look horrible. Or maybe I really look like this and I just have to accept that. Anyway, here it is.

http://members.cox.net/onyxcougar/meandkids1.jpg

God you guys are so cute. And Onyx - I think you look beautiful!

You are good looking yourself!!! Give yourself some credit girl!!!

Actually - I have a friend that could be your twin. Its kinda eerie.

I you feel frustrated how do you think we(subscribers) feel. They keep raising the rates and adding bullshit while taking away things we want. Actually they use the increases to stifle competition. :(

I thought about this story all morning. It really bugs me.

I don't know the right answer and I don't think there is one. I think we are in a fractured, broken society in many ways.

This is what bugged me about dave, because he saw fit to be harsh on people and felt it was playful. No, it's only playful if the person on the receiving end thinks it is, and sometimes you can't tell.

I think we have less and less in common as people, and so we have fewer taboos, fewer lines that aren't to be crossed and we don't see how that affects us.

The bitch was out of line, purely. I can understand her frustration and confusion, but things change, and you gotta change with them or do without them.

Our cable bill is astronomical, because we have *everything* they offer. RoadRunner, all digital services, a digital box on four TVs and a DVR/cable box on another, and all premium channels. But no one forced us to do that. We did it because we love and use the services. We have five people in our home right now, and it takes a lot of diversity (and a lot of bandwidth) to satisfy everyone. We pay for that, and we know it.

If I *did* have a complaint, though, I'd never resort to calling a customer service person names, especially not those referring to them as violent criminals.

The word "rape" is so vulgar and ugly to me, that I could only use it in certain connotations/situations.

Getting screwed by the cable company? Absolutely. Taking it up the ass from the cable company? Sure. Raped? Nah...it ain't THAT bad. You don't like your cable, go with a dish or go without.

I'd come back with "Geez, I thought you had dropped off the face of the earth too. Well I can't just up and pay you immediately, I'm so broke. I mean you can't expect me to suddenly find a big ball of dough. How about $50 a month?"

Nobody with any good intention left would turn that down. Then just pay the first month immediately, the second a month later (in ratty-looking cash to make it physically look like a hardship), and then progressively forget until she finds it too much trouble to re-contact you every time for what is diminishing returns, only $50 quickly and then less and less principal each time.

This is the passive-aggressive approach but these people have never had your concerns in mind. In general, my guiding principle in life is "be kind to everyone", but in this case you did that and they only took advantage of you.

No.

Re: Seriousness That Changed You
 

That's easy: June, 2001. The month that I found out that my life would change due to kidney failure. I was already type 2 diabetic since 1993, and I thought I was handling that ok. But, to have someone tell you that something in your body is failing, and that you now have to go on dialysis for pretty much the rest of your life...that's pretty mind boggling.

It didn't hit me fully until later on that year when I actually started on hemodialysis. That meant getting a Permacath in my neck (which was uncomfortable). I was fine with it for a bit, but I had to start off by going to the clinic at 6am. I'm not an early morning person, so I asked if they had a later schedule. Not so at that particular clinic, so I had to go to another one in the system (Belmont Court Dialysis). That was a nightmare. I got a catheter infection twice while I was there, and the techs were not as good as at the first clinic. So, I had to switch places for a third time (which was the charm). However, while on hemo, I couldn't work, so I switched to Peritoneal Dialysis. This way, I could do my treatments at night while I slept, and return to work during the day.

That was May of 2002. The first year was ok, but going into the second, things started to change. I started to gain weight (the LAST thing I needed, considering I was already way overweight to begin with), my sugars were not stable, my skin and hair changed...I was a hot mess. In addition, my electrolytes are out of wack, and certain hormones have been depleted (haven't had my monthy in well over a year...not that I'm complaining!!). But, all that reeks havoc over one's overall well being, and three weeks ago, I agreed to see a psychiatrist that specializes in chronic illnesses to help me deal better with this "new" way of life, which in many ways, stills sucks.

I'm not going to lie: I'm not one of those people who is "brave" and "I'm going to fight this with every fiber of my being!" and all that. I'm not a natural born fighter, IMO. When things go wrong, the first thing I want to do is curl up in a ball and hope things work out. Getting better with that though. But, IMO, this isn't about bravery, but getting by the best way I know how. The old cliche, "One day at a time" is very true. But, I'm not going about this with a big grin on my face, and fake cheerfulness because I'm grateful that I am alive. I AM glad that I'm alive, but that doesn't mean that I'm not mad/angry/upset about this turn of events. It's hard to let go of the old me, and the things that I was able to do a lot more easier than I can do now. For instance, I'm leery about traveling now, because I have to lug a big ass machine and supplies with me. which is no picnic. I've heard that some people have had trouble at airport security checkpoints, because they are not familiar with the machine (some have even been told to set up the whole machine to prove that it's not a bomb!). I also have a lot of aches and pains due to an elevated parathyroid hormone level (basically, it depletes calcium from your bones...not good), which makes it hard to get around (as Jim and Jinx witnessed at the car show in January). I'm still having trouble getting work the "regular" way, so I'm checking out a program that Social Security has that helps disabled people in obtaining work.

This is not easy to totally accept. Not that I'm in denial, but I don't want to feel like I'm giving in to this. I'm young, and I feel that I have a lot more to do in life, and I would love to be able to have the piece of mind to say that I *can* and *will* experience it...but I can't...realistically. Even with a transplant, my life isn't guaranteed (no one's life IS, but I know that my mortality rate is much lower than the "average" healthy person). I don't know anyone's transplanted kidney that lasted more than 20 years. Sure, that's 20 years, but damn, that would mean my organ would last me until my 50s, and then I'd have to go back on dialysis (and hopefully, not back on hemo!). And I know how I am...I'd be pissed to all hell to have to do that.

These are just the many issues that I constantly have to deal with, and work out with the professional in the coming weeks.

Life doesn't suck as much as I thought it did about a year ago, but certain aspects of it still "really, really, sucks". :( :mad:

*just keeping it real*

It sounds a little like Tay-Sachs , except for the male-female component. Then again, there are more than a few recesssive diseases out there.

On a public policy front, I think requiring blood tests for couples seeking marriage is not a bad idea. Just letting future parents know if they are carriers of recessive diseases would help to prevent Tay-Sachs and sickle cell anemia.

*blurry monitor moment* :)

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Yep, it's hard, but it's getting better, bit by bit.

And you're right...I am not a 'lay down and die' type. It just seems like people with chronic illnesses are supposed to act "brave" and be this strong, fighter type, which I can not claim to be 100%, and that's just me keeping it real. It's like if you dare to complain, then you are ungrateful for being alive and having the health that you DO have. That's not the case at all. It's just that for me, I feel that it's best to be truthful about how I feel about all of this, instead of keeping it all inside and then blowing up all at once later on. That's not good for me, or for Syc. (hehe)

I feel bad because I did forget to mention Syc in my rant, about how he's been my rock and my anchor in all of this. :joylove:

The one thing that I am proud of at this point is being a co-administrator for a dialysis board which allows patients to vent whenever they feel the need, but we also provide support and possible options in regards to patient and caregiver issues. There is also a fair amount of research, meaning many websites are posted for people to surf that may help them in their treatment and care. I try to encourage dialogue and to be more pro-active in individual care, because fear and ignorance is the worse thing for chronically ill patients.

Perhaps something along the lines of this:

Understanding Gene Testing

My son is almost 20 and autistic. He goes to school and has been job training at the same job for a few years. He has wanted to drive a car ever since his brother got his license. As far as we can tell, his physical health is fine. My greatest hope is that he can acheive some form of independence.

The thing about autism is that it is still more of a symptom than a disease. Noone has found a clear genetic component yet. It could be hereditary, environmental, or some combination. Not knowing still bothers me, although finding out that I might have passed this onto him would also be a terrible discovery.

I once got into a discussion with a distant cousin. We were comparing notes on our children. His oldest son does not appear to have any impairment in intelligence, but has a severe behavior disorder. He is scarred from self-inflicted scratches and cuts. He has been thrown out of schools and institutions. However, he has 'normal' speech and intelligence and can communicate with his father, even if they yell at each other.

So my cousin and I were talking about all of this and trying to figure out who had it worse, the man with the son who is semi-independent but who disappears and reappears, and who may one day turn up missing or dead, or the man whose son lives at home and is relatively well-behaved, but who cannot communicate with his father at an adult level.

Unless there is some dramatic change, I will always speak to my son as if he is a young child. I do get to see him happy, and we do get to do things together, but I will never know him as a man. My goal is for him to be in some kind of group home arrangement, and I hope that his training will allow him to reach that point. But if that happens, it will still not seem real to me. It will still seem like visiting a child at camp and not an independent person in his home.

My son goes to a school for autistic children. A while ago, he was in a much larger special school, which had a group of children with a larger range of disabilities. I remember the graduation there years ago when I watched children with very mild to unbelievably severe disabilities as they graduated. In Pennsylvania, special education students are in school until age 21. I could imagine the parents of these children, and even back then, when my son was 11 or 12, I could imagine the future, when it would be my son graduating.

That future is two years away.

I can remember being deliberately cynical as a kid. Really I figured the world was a pretty messed up place. The age we were living in seemed to teem with danger and disarray....But really I felt all of that against the backdrop of a very sheltered and actually quite rosie view of my immediate little bit of the world...Apart from a chronic illness which I dont need to bore ya with here ( nothing serious enough to be lifethreatening or permanently injurous, just enough to fuck up my schooling and spend waaaay too much time reading ;P) The world had really presnted me with a lot of good vibes. Even when my mum was injured at work and had to give up her career, she rode it out with reasonable equanimity as she did most things....

Dogs came and eventually went. Relatives mainly got along with a few lost to illness and injury along the way...None of this really made me see the world as the fucked up place it is; always has been and always will be.

I threw myself into my teenage years, experimented with drugs, drink, depression and radical left politics......dropped out of my education and went off with my equally leftwing boyfriend to live in a bedsit and plan the revolution whilst also marching against racism and other unpleasant stuff....Mainly what I saw there started to clue me in a little that some elements of society were perhaps not as innocent in intent as i had always kind of assumed....

Thatchers Britain (1990) on the front lines of a large demo looking at a row of very heavily armoured policemen none of whome were wearing their identity numbers on their epaulets....I'll leave the rest to your imagination, suffice it to say it was one helluva ruck....But even then when the dark underbelly of the capitalist system showed itself briefly to me, it was lightened somewhat by the other less agressive bobbys who were doing their damnedest to make sure the quarter of a million pissed off citizens who were exercising their right to be peacefully kicked in by mounted police got safely back to their coaches and vans afterwards, despite the rather tempestous riot that had erupted all around them....again I saw a great deal that showed me the strength and bravery of humans so even that didnt really sink my optimism.

Living in a poor northern milltown whose industry had long since fled, my fell and I eked out our days and saw whole regions die under the tories and the country felt tired. Sleaze corruption and degradation, the nation talked much of the changes that needed to come. The measures got crueller the lot of the poor darker and then the nation that heaved such a heavy sigh elected the same discredited government to another four years.....I was devastated. I could not believe that it had happened. Right up til the exit polls they were predicting a change of government and then......But...I picked myself up ....after a couple of years I could even talk about it without twitching.

Genocide and destruction rages in our world. A million dead Rwandans a million displaced Sudanese.....a hundred thousand fleeing conscripts massacred on the road to Basra....All of this horror and yet the world is as its ever been. We see it now as it happens, we even may care. But the world is as it has always been. Genocide and racial hatred, wars of conquest and malevalent occupiers. In a hundred years all the things that anger me in the news will be articles in history books and the world will be much as it is now.

A few years ago my fella was running down some stone steps and slipped...reached his hand out on instinct and fell with such force his hand gripped the rail in reflex and the whole weight was taken by his arm, dislocating his shoulder in a really nasty way.

We didnt know it was dislocated straight off. He was in a lot of pain though. It was such forceful dislocation that even ater it had been put back in it was strapped up for weeks and for 6 months it looked like he may have paralysed his right arm.

This completely threw me. The noise I had heard him make when I thought he had just taken a fall and banged his shoulder is still clear in my mind. We'd just had a row so when I heard that sound( which was strangely muted for a yell of agony)I was halfway between irritated and concerned thinking it a pissed off response to a minor fall.....Funny how these things stay with you. ....I waited with him at the emergency room for hours with him nearly blacking out with the pain and doing that guy thing of being really angry and prickly seeming when in severe distress.....

That day and night and the months of painful physio I realised how fucked up life could really feel. Such a helpless feeling. And all the what ifs....This fall the shoulder. What if it had been his neck?

All the horror of the world, all the pain of a sickly childhood and the disappointments of adulthood didnt really rock my equanimity but when the steps of my backyard became dangerous, so did my world.

Bingo! Excellent point, Dana. The reason we're ruminating about the global implosion, is that our own little worlds are relatively safe.
If there is a tornado in the area, you tune in the local weather, not the world news. ;)

For those of you who remember this thread and the stuff I brought up here (as well as the website from prison entries...) you may remember that I told you his lawyer contacted me in regards to whether or not he was sexually abused as a child, and I told her no, but he abused his cousins. I wondered aloud (here) what he was up to.

I found out:

This is edited for content....

The short version is that they tested him, he's not crazy, and his lawyer did a well enough job, and so they denied his appeal.

So that little letter from the lawyer was to help establish he was mental. What bullshit. They wanted me, the person he beat and raped and abused, to give them information to help him get out of prison?????

You gotta be kidding me.

Just keeping you updated. :)

Google works.

Dickhead's brother, we'll call him Shaun, has PM'd me. His wife found me from this thread. While this is somewhat alarming, it's not wholly unexpected. I'm still not sure how I feel about this. Shaun is on the dickhead's mother's side of the family, and that's the side of the family that had the (now) 17 year old.

Shaun is asking about the 17 year old. Through my cautious inquiries he has sent pics of himself (which went a long way toward making sure this was him and not somebody I don't want to be dealing with) and his wife, told me where he was, and where other members of the family are.

I have not told him where I am, although it's possible to narrow me down to one state from my posts here.

I'm very very wary, but at the same time, the 17 year old is an adult in less than 6 months, and while I don't want to "throw him to the wolves", my part in this is nearly ended. I've shielded him from as much backlash and influence as I could, and especially now that he is going to the ex, perhaps my role in that is over.

What do you guys think?

I'm confused... Shaun is his brother, but is "on dickhead's mother's side of the family?" Wouldn't a brother be on both sides of the family, just like Dickhead?

I'd ask the 17 year old. He probably remembers at least something of these people who raised him for awhile, and may feel very strongly one way or the other about whether he wants to be reunited with them. This is all assuming the 17 year old knows the whole story about Dickhead?

Well, I should have said closer to the mother's side. He hsn't mentioned much about the dad's side, but the dad's side I'm not really worried about anyway, since the dad's side had nothing to do with the 17 year old.

He knows the story, not the details. Due to all the drama right now, I'm not sure he is in a place emotionally to make a decision like that. I don't know. *sigh*

helloo ladies and gents
 

well maybe i can clear a few things up here i am as yall call him lol dickheads brother and as nikki has said i will go by shaun as for my "brother" well i am not wanting to have a damn thing to do with him and as far as i am concerened he can rot in jail and i hope like hell he does yes i am very bitter towards him and i have very good reasons that i will not go into detail about at this time i will just saay that there was alot of "stuff" that happened to me at dickheads hands but i want to claer a couple of things up here i am dickheads full brother (mom and dad divorced before i was born)i try and stay in contace with my dad and such as much as i can but it was my mother that raised me and that is the info that i have been giving to cougar and if she wants more all she has toi do is ask and she knows this as i have told her i do not want to cause anytrouble with her and my nephew i just want to get o know him if at all possiable and i have left the ball in cougars court and she will do as she sees fit and i would have it no other way i do however what the folks that have been folowing this thread and know about what is going on that i mean noone any harm i am nothing like dickhead and i know this sounds rather cheesy but i am pretty much the complete oppisite of him thankfully if yall have any questions i will answer as best i can i have nothing to hide and i wont do so all ya got to do is ask i will give you an answer weather you like that answer or not is another question lol ok i will close for now and let yall see this lol and see how many folks "gang up " on me lol just kidding chatch yall later :D

Not trying to gang up on you, I promise... but the occasional period or comma would be really helpful. ;)

Eeek.

reminds me of my three year old neice: "and then and then and then giggle giggle giggle and then and then and then........."

[quote]Tymebomb28 - So if she asks you to go away quitely and stay away you'll do that? You should, you know, if that's what she thinks is best. - for her and the nephew.

yea yea yea i know
 

yea i know my puction sucks lol i never got a good grade in english so sue me lol. <<<< is that better

well ,, dude not realy , and the folks here can tell you that if'n I am saying something about it , it must be REAL BAD !!!!

The seriousness that changed my life was a doctor appointment for my sixteen month old daughter. She was vomiting and had diahrrea. When the doc felt her abdomen and ordered a blood sample and cat scan I started freaking. Two days later she was diagnosed with a childhood cancer - stage 4 neuroblastoma and given a 20% chance to live. (primary tumor started in left kidney, cancer spread to lymph nodes, spine and skull bones.) After two surgeries, chemo and an autologous (no donor involvement)bone marrow transplant, she became an angel at the age of 2 1/2.
When someone asks how my day is (on a bad one), I always reply "I've had worse." Thinking of her with her diaper area too blistered from radiation to wear a diaper and her spitting out blood and tissue for a week from radiation burns inside makes any problems seem petty. But.....also I have to admit that at my lowest times during that 13 months, I did meet people who actually were worse off than I. There are worse things in life than dying.

And - it always makes me feel good - feel better about the people in this world - when I read about the parents in this forum who have disabled kids and the tremendous jobs they are doing helping the kids lead happy productive lives. They are my heros! They don't complain, they're always positive instead of negative. I know they have to get tired, but they don't let that hold them up from the demanding job they have been chosen to do. I always think of the poem about planning a trip to Paris and ending up in Holland instead........

okkkkkkkk then
 

and yes bretts honey i will quitely dissappear i wont like it but i will do it. lol i am not a stalker by any means

I don't think I want him to "go away", I just don't know how to handle it.

I told the 17 year old about it, and he's curious, but also wondering what to do. The first thing he asked is "Do they know where we are?"

I think I'll just keep in email contact with Shaun and when the 17 year old asks, I'll give him the address. That way I can get a little comfortability with Shaun over time and we can tackle this. I want the 17 year old to know the other part of his family, but due to circumstances it will be on his terms. *shrug* That's all I can do.

well couger that is all that i ask is keep an open mind to it all and go with the flow shall we say. i am glad that you are keeping an open mind so far and as i have told you i mean yall no harm and i definitly dont want to cause you any stress. like i have said i only want to get to know my nephew more than i did when he was a kid :D

Zippyt, Man that is funny. And here I've been feelin' bad for busting on your spelling, but I see you laugh at it too.

Getting sick earlier this year was the best thing to ever happen to me. God works in strange ways, sometimes.

If that's the case, I can certainly respect that. I have a nephew that I've never met, and two half brothers I haven't seen in over twenty years, so I understand. It can't be real easy for you, OC, you obviously just have your son's best interests in mind - good for you!

I've got my own domain now, so I'm checking my pages for broken links, and found a link to the ex was broken, so I dogpile'd him to get the new one and found this:

http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/male/travis-1895.htm

What I'm trippin on is the release date, 2015. It was my understanding he was in for life, no possibility of parole. Is there a way I can check for sure with authorities instead of a compulsive psychotic liar?

Tyme, do you know the skinny on this?

Christ, from reading that link, I'd marry him. :thepain3:

They call that being in jail? Let them stay a few days in the red river parish in LA. Boy what a ride.

Holy fuck!

I've read this thread from start to finish, and now seeing the link to the ex just freaked me out!!

That is just wrong. I'm sorry you ever had to be in the same space as this person.

Thanks, Seak.

Oregon doesn't have an online database, so I emailed them and just got a reply this morning:

Inst admission date... 10/11/1995
Earliest release date. No parole

So there you go. I was pretty sure he was lying, but wanted verification, just to make myself feel better. :) Carry on...

(And by the way, Bruce, he HATES bubblebaths, and wouldn't wash my hair if I begged him, but then, prison changes a man.....)

He probably just listed the stuff he remembered you wanting him to do, so he'd seem more sensitive.

I think he was just looking for opportunities to say things like "ride bareback" and "tending bushes."

He doesn't really seem like a horticulturalist.

That man hated to go outside. He watches too much TV in medium security prison.

What you don't have in prison is often what you want most.

I read that whole link/article as a complete joke. I mean, he's obviously kidding (lying would be the more accurate word) about everything. He likes chick flicks and wants to cuddle? The woman who would fall for that line of shit probably deserves what she gets.

And, for what it's worth, I think he looks like a low-life greaser white-trash wannabe who finally found the weight room. Um, er, gross.

Unless he's thinking of the old joke: You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

You can learn to like anything once you've been made to do it often enough... :mg:

Geez, I haven't heard that one in years.

What I don't get is why bother to put the ad up in the first place? He's not going anywhere soon, so what does he get out of it?

Sociopaths love the thrill of the hunt. He's hunting to play mind games with someone. He set the trap and now he's waiting to see who falls in.

They need to have a spot for customer response.