The Cellar - Products You Never Knew Existed

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For when a sidecar isn't posh enough for your passender.

Can ya get these for your eyes?

Attachment 38495

I have a sharp stick you can borrow...?

A couple Titanic products...bathtub plug, and ice cube tray.

Attachment 38584 Attachment 38585

Lime sold separately.

Bone Suckin' Sauce?

Attachment 38737 Attachment 38738

Quote:

Take home these 14-ounces of delicious unicorn meat, canned for your convenience Imported from a small independent cannery in County Meath, Ireland. Crunchy horn bits in every bite- an excellent source of Calcium. Tastes like rotisserie chicken but with a hint of marshmallow sweetness. Easily spreadable for sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres, and more. Sparkly meat lends the unmistakable air of class and sophistication to your parties! Unlike other meats, unicorn fat is polyunsaturated and lowers your LDL cholesterol. Not yet approved by the USDA or FDA, but the nuns have eaten it for centuries and they're healthy as horses. Okay, for real: you can't eat this. It's a dismembered stuffed unicorn in a can. The bottom of the tin is easily removable to gain access to the mini dead unicorn inside. No can opener needed! Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.

Hah! I bought that for my niece at Christmas. She's a veggie :p

Inside the can is a plush unicorn that's been cut up into body parts. The 'joints' show red and white at the ends of the portions, and on the head the tongue lolls out the side of its mouth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 811437)

Hah! I bought that for my niece at Christmas. She's a veggie :p

Veggiephobe.

Toooooootally unrelated:

Attachment 38746

Classic, that's Mr Paparazzi himself, Darren Lyons.

Fab as that torture device looks, Dazza actually went under the knife to get his babe-magnet six-pack-alike.

Grav - what? You've never sucked bones in your time?
I know I have.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 811438)

Inside the can is a plush unicorn that's been cut up into body parts. The 'joints' show red and white at the ends of the portions, and on the head the tongue lolls out the side of its mouth.

Ha ha ha.
But really, you can't eat it?

Do not want. Disappoint.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae (Post 811540)

Ha ha ha.
But really, you can't eat it?

Do not want. Disappoint.

Why not? It's *very* high in fiber, after all!

...aaaaand it's filling.

I'd like to take this opportunity

to stop now.

:D