I imagine it'll be a tough time as you become accustomed to the change. You're in my thoughts, SG. Hang in there!

Didn't we already have a thread about getting rear-ended?

If I didn't, somebody else would.

I echo that. I was injured in an accident, and I STILL have problems with my neck and back because of it. Those kinds of things do not always show up right away, and they are expensive to treat. From the damage you describe, it sounds like he hit you pretty hard.

Not to scare you or anything, but Natasha Richardson died recently after developing a headache after a skiing accident where she hit her head. Choco should go get checked out asap. You really do not want to screw with injuries like that. It could be nothing, or it could be something, and the sooner she is treated the better.

my son treats me like shit.


he really does. it makes me a stew of sadness and angery...Angry, sad stew. and I love my son, but; wow. He can really wipe his shoes on me like I'm some doormat. Brings up a lot of feelings....

Damn Bri. *hugs*

thanks. I guess it's typical 17 year-old stuff; but it's ALSO the way I've let him treat me all these guilty years...


my fault, of course.

Bri, my stepson does the same exact thing to his father. I hate to see it, but am powerless to change it. Gary lets him walk all over him too.

man.

phone call from the son who is with a friend at another friend's house. Time: 11.00.

"Mom, I hit my head pretty bad on some monkey bars (playing nighttime tag) and I've got a big gash in my head..."

Me, just waking up..."uh.....ok....I'll come get you."

I get the kid. I am obliged to take kid to his father's house so the MAN can decide what course of action to take (remember, I am the unreliabe and crazy AND newly recovering from god-only-knows-what THIS time ex-wife). I have JUST been woken out of a sound sleep. Father decides I am drunk or high and tells me to leave the boy and the friend with him, he'll take kid to ED and I should just run along home.

I feel two things: mad because he thinks i'm high when really I'm just sleep-sodden, and like, well, I deserve this treatment as I haven't been the driven snow all my life, now, have I?

*hugs* Bri. Just gotta stand up to it, as hard as that might be, and remember it is not for forever. It is typical teenage stuff. *more hugs*


SG- we're here for you, and believe in you!

Leaving aside the marginally useful subject of blame for the moment....

Let me first say, I'm so sorry to hear this. It is unpleasant, having experienced it firsthand myself.

But I want to ask you this: When will it be better time for him to learn the proper way to interact? When will the habits become less ingrained? When will the accumulated hurt be less? Decide when that time is and ACT at that time.

I don't know your sons. I don't know *how* to communicate the importance of respect to them. But you and I both know it is important, even if he doesn't know it or won't acknowledge it. And seventeen is probably old enough to possess the maturity to understand. So he can learn. He needs to know right and act right. And it will be a hard, and likely long battle.

Think of it as a gift to them. Be strong, show them the way. You can do it, and they need you to show them.

Why didn't/couldn't you take him straight to the ER?

Who here has behaved in a way that makes them ineligible for basic human respect?!

No one.

If your child behaved badly would you lose your respect for them? Would you counsel them to not expect to be respected? To shun it? To reject it?

Do not model such behavior for them. Show them how to deserve respect. Even if it means showing them how to earn it after it has been lost.

eta:
I sound like a preachy m*therf*cker. I don't mean to be preachy or self righteous. I'm not. I just know that kids, even seventeen year old kids, need limits. Limits are crucial for a kid's well being and proper development. The world, (of which they have had limited experience) is a largely unknown place, and many of the places where they *think* they know, they're misled. From the playground talk to marketing poison, they're surrounded with misinformation. And at seventeen, they can do an impeccable job of appearing to know what the f*ck is going on. Don't be misled. They might be partly right, by talent or accident. But they don't have it all nailed. And treating their parents like shit is part of the wrongheadedness, for whatever reason. They want to know the right way. Even if they protest otherwise.

--zippin my lip.

At the moment what's upsetting me is my tummy. Blech. Chicken soup, matzoh and tea for dinner tonight.

Oh I know Big V. I established boundaries with this kid very early on in the marriage. He knows what gets him in trouble with me and he knows that I always mean business. Therefore, I really get very little lip from him...or at least for not as long. His Dad is another story. Its like a practiced dialogue with the two of them. Gary gets angry and theres tons of yelling, but the boy yells right back. THAT drives me insane. As soon as the kid raises his voice to me he is in for it...I ground him or take the keys away. Gary seems to allow it. *shrugs*