my husband is russian. you know that metallica song (enter sandman, i think) where they sing "exit light!" well, he thought they were saying "amstel light"

Rock me, Amadeus!
 

Fuck me, I'm a danish.

Depeche Mode's "Pimpf"

Sounds like they might be saying: "Cold...beer! Cold...beer!"
Is actually: Them making noises that aren't actually words

Also from DM, "Enjoy the Silence"

Sounds like they might be saying: "All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is him, in my arms."
Is actually: "All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is here, in my arms."

I went to England to see Depeche Mode at the Crystal Palace Soccer Stadium years ago. I won the tickets from a radio station in Las Vegas. They gave 2 VIP tickets, airfare, hotel, and spending money to whomever would do the craziest thing to win them.

My dad had never been out of the country so I decided to bring him. Also because I didnt have that much spending money. It was a mistake to bring my dad though because he was hardly a D'Mode fan and I couldn't even get him to check out the sites in England. I couldn't get him to leave the pub at the hotel unless it was to go to another Pub. I'll be the first to admit they've got great beer, but we flew for over 10 hours and I think we should have gone to check out Stratford upon Avon, Stonehenge, etc.

C'mon Radar, you're going to make me ask, aren't you. OK, how'd you win the tickets?:D

LOL - Trust me, some things are better left unsaid. :)

Oh, you still have political aspirations, don't you.:haha:

I will still run for office, but it's better left unsaid just because it's gross and freaky.

Well now you have to tell us !!!!!!!

I really needed a good laugh. Tell us how you won the tickets and then post more messed up songs. I live with the king of messed up songs. My husband thought the "In Your Letter" by REO Speedwagon was about a girl named Ebuletta... Ebuletta, ooh Ebuletta...Ebuletta, you said you didn't love me...Songs are like names, you really should know how to pronounce them, but if you don't, post it here because I think it is really funny.

Let me preface this by saying I knew a guy in the Navy who could pull his dog tag chain through his nose and out his mouth. I was with a friend when the radio station asked for people to fax in some crazy stunt they'd do. I was goofing around with a friend and sent them a note saying I would snort life guppies up my nose and cough them out of my mouth still alive. I didn't anticipate they would actually call me and I had never done it before. I didn't even know if it could be done. I thought it could because of my friend in the navy and because it was small and wet I figured it would be like hocking up a big loogie.

The radio station not only accepted my offer, but started advertising it all day everyday. They told people to bring a fishing pole and check out a guy snorting live guppies.

I started getting nervous and the day of the event I bought some guppies and tried it for the first time 2 hours before I was supposed to do it on stage.

Several hundred people showed up and others did some fairly lame "crazy stunts". A couple showed up and the woman put peanut butter and jelly all over the man covered him with bread and ate sandwiches. Some woman showed up in a bikini and asked guys to pour beer all over her, some guy mixed up alpo dog food, ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish, etc. and ate it. Then he shoved his finger down his throat barfed it up and ate it again.

I was called and came on stage and people were cheering me. I snorted one up the left side, one on the right, then two at the same time. One of them got stuck. I hadn't anticipated the wriggling in the sinuses and I had to blow it out. The crowd loved it. Then I got the glass of water with fish in it and drank it down and swallowed it. They all went nuts.

I was interviewed by all the local news stations, and the local paper in Vegas. For a while it was hard to go to a bar without someone calling me "the guppy guy". When I got to England some tabloid sort of paper over there wanted me to do a repeat performance but I already had my tickets so I refused. One of my friends wanted me to do it on Letterman as a stupid people trick, but I'll pass on that too.

Mine wasn't necessarily the grossest stunt, but it was stylish and freaky, and fit the bill of "crazy".

On a side note...

I figured out that if you snort too small of a fish it will go right down your throat before you can stop it. If I ever had to do it again, I'd use slightly larger fish.

Well, now I'm faced with a horrible dichotomy. On the one hand, I have a really hard time taking seriously any political rhetoric from a guy who snorts live aquarium fish. On the other hand, the fact that Radar claims to have snorted live aquarium fish has caused me to have more respect for him than I ever thought possible.

Being so torn makes me crazy; but Radar...dude...my hat is off to you!

Radar's story reminds me of something that happened back in St. Louis...

Late Spring 1994: Pink Floyd released their most recent studio album, The Division Bell, and were doing a spring/summer tour of the US. They weren't coming to St. Louis, but were playing at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City on June 20th. Well, about 2 weeks before the show, the major rock station in St. Louis at the time had a contest: what would you do to win tickets to see Pink Floyd in KC?

So, people were doing stupid shit on the morning show, trying to win these tickets...and they apparently had a winner: a guy that ate a tree branch.

Well, they were about to give the guy the tickets, but they had to wait a moment because the "winner" was vomiting. Another nut job that was down at the station (where this was going on) then volunteered to drink tree branch guy's vomit.

He did so, and wound up winning the tickets.

This could go in the "funny things kids say" thread, but whatever.

My son has begun singing some of the songs he hears from his mom, dad and babysitter. Lots of funny things, but the best of the lot is:

"when the dog barks, when the bean stinks..."

should be "when the dog bites, when the bee stings..."

I laugh like crazy every time he does it. On a side note, if you ask him "Who's house?" he replies "Run's house! Say what?"