Some times I wish I was the King of the world, but then I remember that I am Emperor of the Knowen Universe.

Aging has never bothered me. But having had my three score & ten,(plus a couple more), I'm not so chuffed with it.
I ain't wiser. Far from it.
I wanna reverse he whole procedure.
:sniff:

Sometimes I pretend that I actually have my shit together and know where I put it.

The last time I did that I got fired. Three of us dressed up as one of the other girls at work. One of the others got fired too. The Mavericks don't last at that company.

No, I need a fresh start at this new place.

Well, you haven't been following my sporadic history here (no reason for you to). I do have some friends and acquantances here, I've been supportive and have gotten advice and support, on a very limited number of topics.

When did this become a contest? Besides, I'm sure by the time you are 50 you will have some significant items on your resume.

That's kind of the point of my story. Instead of jumping in on every conversation, voicing my opinion on everything I hear, I put on my head phones and go back to coding.

It's hard for a company to integrate a new senior person. I've seen so many of them come in and on their first day imply to everyone that they're doing a bad job, and he's going to save our sorry asses.

At my new job, I always say people are making good decisions, and instead of making suggestions, I confirm the good suggestions that people offer.

Yet, I also must show expertise and enough leadership to get a F/T job there.

Fair enough. My oversight. Sorry to come across harsh.

I like to pretend to be a cat. My cat always gets excited when I do this and has become friendlier as a result. Sometimes I try to block out all the signs and buildings and power lines and pretend I can see the world around me the way it was before all the people cluttered it up. I also pretend I am performing for an audience when I practice but I don't think it will help me be any less nervous when the time comes to do it for real.

Telling Lies
 

"Outdoor Cinema on the Pont Neuf with movies projected onto the Seine. Tickets include foot passage over the bridge. Clement weather only, April through October. Viewing times dependent upon sunset and smoothness of the river. Well known for continuous screenings of Orpheaus. Bring your own chair.

The Pont Neuf cinema became an historical edifice when one night's screening slipped away from the projector and started to flow gently down the Seine. The audience, without hesitation, leapt up and ran along the embankment so as not to miss a moment of the movie's journey downriver.

A pillow on our visible bed. The fish looks into the dream, the pillow turns into a miniature air mattress and floats down the Seine, with a doll as passenger. It just so happens the Pont Neuf cinema is showing a midnight series, and the doll floats into one of the movies ad finds what she's looking for: a stolen watch in Les Enfants du Paradis."

http://www.thesilverimage.co.uk/thumbs/seine_thumb.jpg

I occasionally practice my witty banter to be used when I appear on The Tonight Show in conjunction with publication of my brilliant and successful novel.

right now i wish my puppy would quit rolling in things he shouldn't!:thepain3:

Argh, yea, our 120 lb dog sometimes comes inside smelling "fragrant". We send her right outside and take her to Pet Club for a quick wash. Summertime, we just hose her down in the backyard.

With no context, I'm sure that post made me sound like a serious primmadonna. No Harm, no foul.

It probably helped to write it down, because yesterday I met privately with one of the Technical Directors about doing the Director of Engineering gig instead of indivdual contributor. That would mean instead of reporting to him, he would report to me. We agreed to think about it for a few days.

Tomorrow I will probably meet with each of the other Technical Directors about this idea. My proposal is to defer the position of VP of Engineering for a year and let me do the Director of Engineering thing. I believe I can build a consensus for this, especially since they have rejected so may VPE candidates. It's hard to hire your own boss. So, I figure they might want to live with the devil they know (me) than the one they don't. It helps that I have a CS PhD and 10 more years of experience than any of them. And, I'm not a devil at all, but a consensus builder.

The whole thing is trickly, no matter how you slice it.

Please allow me just one moment to dream of the pure joy that would bring me within my own world here. Having the situations reversed at any one of the places that I've worked at.

:love: :love: :love: :love:


Ok, thanks.

my imaginary blog entry for today:

i have done a lot of soul searching today. i read my earlier entry, and realized that i am suffering from a form of melancholy. i went to the library and checked out some self-help books. the librarian was checking me out. he thinks i’m hot. i could tell by the way his hand shook as he handed me back my library card. i have that affect on men and small animals. at any rate, after checking out my books, i waited outside for him. i hid in the bushes, and followed him home to make sure he was not being followed by some lunatic. i know where he lives now, i will have to drop in sometime to chat.

i have only read a few chapters of the book entitled “I’m Okay and You’re Okay.“ it put things into perspective for me. it made me realize, despite my insanity, i can do anything i put my mind to. the United Galactic Council can piss off. i will achieve liberation, and my soul WILL be transmitted to the universal fax network mother. nothing will stand in my way. i am in control of my destiny. Not my mother, my dog nor my fear.

There's definitely something of the Phtrethnog, of the race of Drarth that dwells upon the planet Snagell 3 in the constellation Kryngax about you, my dear....