Plus a side of :lobstah: and some :frog: legs.

until he found the :worm:at the bottom of the tequilla bottle just before the :ninja: showed up and killed it with his bare hands.

but when our hero woke up the next morning from his wormy, ninja whipped, frog leg eating, crawdad sucking, small print writing, pimp having ailen killen, sheep dippin escaped he discovered that his wallet and ID were missing and now the US considered him an illegal immigrant:biggrinba (in a really poor looking sombrero) but just then he looked down and saw.....

that he had some morning wood happening, so rubbed out a quick one.http://www.websmileys.com/sm/obscene/eck24.gif

After he was done rubbing one out, he noticed a :tux: watching him from outside the window!

and he said...:sweat: "it's too damn hot for a penguin to just be walkin around! I gotta take you back to the north pole."

This reminded our hero also that it was "nudie magazine day" He was very happy and danced a jig. :jig:

He was sad :sniff: that he had already squacked. He flipped through his newly received porn, but nothing was happening :worm:

He tried and he tried... but it just wasn't happening... :redface:
he couldn't bear to look at himself anymore because of his failure :bawling:

then, he had the urge to :turd:, once that was done, he felt like a new man and went off to his weekly :handball: game.

He was a very good player :juggle: but he lost :flipbird:. Only then did he remember to wipe. :bogroll:

Suddenly, he had an idea! :idea:

which was shocking in itself:shocking:. He thought that even if things weren't working down there:doit:, he could still please his woman. As they say - if you can't cut the mustard, lick it :frog:.

:confused: by his failure and spent after his game he went home to find his girlfriend Mariska Muskrat...

Had run off with the hippie next door:earth: . It just wasn't his night. Come to think of it, it just wasn't his life! He sat on the couch and was inspired by an idea:drunk: