Mrs. Dallas formerly managed a sheet music store that sub-let space from a piano store. I forget what was going on, but the upshot is that they needed some help and some equipment (cough) from the store's handyman. Mrs. Dallas' assistant manager called back to arrange for said assistance. He then hung up the phone and said to her, "Fred said he'll be here in a minute. He's got a really long pole that should do the job."

They just looked at each other for a minute and then cracked up.

This'n is a verbal one so I dunno if it counts...

Me at work: Oooh you might wanna double bag that...the caulk always tends to poke out.
Guy customer: *snort, supressed laughter*
Me: *grin* Yeah, it's always awful, seeing customers half across the parking lot with their caulk poking out.
Guy customer: *laughs*
Wife of guy customer: *oblivious* Wha? ...Wait, why are you laughing?!
Guy customer: Nothing. I'm being good. *more laughter*

I love working at a hardware store :D

Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver?

Overheard at a furniture store:
Look, when we get home, I'll stick it in and see if it fits.

And at a local hardware store:
Miss, what I'm looking for is a nice long screw.

absolutely - it's like saying - What's going on?:D

Since I work with alot "piping/plumbing" people vendors/employees, they are always talkin about "nipples" & "male/female" couplings. When I first started working here and heard that stuff, I was like wtf?

Do they ever stop talking and just lay some pipe?

I may have posted this, but it applies.

Me, at Outback curbside takeaway:

The server dude is a little....a lot....flamboyant. He runs in and out of there like a happy little running faggot....

anyway....and i know he does this on purpose....he always offers to "put it in the back door"


referring to the big bag of food...but he doesn't need the word 'door', does he?

i bet he gets a lot of dates that way

Hey fella, in your end-o:3_eyes:

I found myself at a table full of food during happy hour at a new bar. I said to the waitress who was serving, "Five minutes ago the line was out the door and now there's no one here." And she replied, "Yeah, my customers come in spurts."

Sexually Ambiguous Words
 

Mattress salesman.....

"A little bit 'o me comes with every mattress you buy"

So, this cute wholesaler that I deal with all the time, always closes our phone calls with....


"Ok, you keep in touch with yourself now"

Godspeed thru Texas, faggot...

I was having a conversation at work.

Someone who had a pseudo-relation to my family was admitted, and some comments were made about the patient's dad's name. I explained the origin of what was actually a nickname, and in the course of the anecdote, I explained the situation ... they had both worked for the same well-known local confectionery company.

wolf: My uncle was the Master Baker, see.

cow orker: Master Baker? So was the nut's dad a big Master Baker too?

wolf: No, he was just a Pie Driver. My uncle was the Master Baker. My Grandfather was a Master Baker also. It runs in the family.

Kum and Go: We Go All Out!

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