Love the black humor. I've never seen this one.

Wait....what? You've never seen Life of Brian?

Nope. I take it it's a must-see? I

God Damn, I slept through a hurricane here. Sounds like you've been to hell and back. Well I'm glad you got back, now one day at a time, and keep us up to date, please. :ipray:

Oops, last post went too soon. I thought it had, but couldn't retrieve it at the time. Anyway - haven't seen Life of Brian.

Sorry about the drama, Bruce. Bad night last night, but doing better today. Just blurry vision after chemo physically, and the rest I'll put on hold until another day.

Don't be sorry, not at all. Take it one day at a time and we'll keep up. I promise. :grouphug:

So sorry to hear about all you're going through, ortho. I can identify most with the kid-stuff, obviously, and on the one hand it hurts and scares me to read but on the other hand you give me hope. Because I look at you and I say, "If she's through it, she's out the other side and has her head held high (and bald :),) then it must be do-able." I know you don't feel like it right now, but your strength is an inspiration to other people. You don't have to fight for that strength, it's already there inside you.

It is absolutely do-able, not easy but do-able, and from what I've read on the board you're doing an amazing job. I used dietary approaches as well, with some benefit, and just tried to find as many resources and as much support as possible. Every child is different; my second child was extremely challenging at every step and had multiple diagnoses, and that's not always the case. I did have in-home support but we couldn't keep workers; he was too violent. Yet he was sweet-hearted between rages and never fit the 'sociopath' label one or two docs put on him. If he'd gone to residential he would've been taken advantage of to the nth degree by the real Conduct Disorder kids there; that's essentially what happened in high school and college anyway. He was an easy mark for the smart, bad kids, always very naive and believing at face-value whatever he was told.

My oldest has been more recently diagnosed with Asperger's, and since Asperger's can have psychotic episodes and mood issues, I think it's a much better fit than the original schizophrenia label. Either that or he had scz but improved, for whatever reason, and has done well. He hasn't had psychotic episodes in years. There's a school of thought that includes a proportion of improving patients in long-term outcome, and another that rejects improvement as being inconsistent with the diagnosis. I prefer the Asperger's concept in his case.

Anyway ... there is a way through. And the good times with the kids are always there, and seeing improvements means SO much - I've always appreciated every milestone so intensely. Now they're adults I stay in the background and let them know they have my love and support always, 24/7, and sometimes they lean on that and other times they fly solo. It's good to see them spread their wings.

Your life may have not turned out the way you imagined it would, but I'd be god damned to let anyone call you a failure. You've led an amazing life with great achievements against incredible odds. Your chin should high and proud.
http://cellar.org/2012/aaclap.gif

Wise words.

I think that, at some point, most of us find ourselves somewhere we hadn't quite planned or chosen to be in life. I've come to a place where I try to take the attitude of 'be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle'.

It doesn't excuse naïveté or stupidity on my part, but it helps keep things in perspective. As do the good people here. I truly appreciate this community.

Here are two poems for you Ortho:

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
-- Mary Oliver


The Journey

One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice--
though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the
old tug at your ankles. “Mend my life!” each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop. You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very
foundations, though their melancholy was terrible.
It was already late enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen branches and stones.
But little by little, as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly recognized as your own,
that kept you company as you strode
deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do
the only thing you could do-- determined to save
the only life you could save.
-- Mary Oliver

Here's one of my favorite old sayings for you ortho: Life is hard, then you die.

I prefer footses poems. Especially the second one.


Sent by thought transference