I'd chain her to the dog cart. :whip:

I'm getting pretty excited about my wife coming here. I'm also a bit nervous. It will be a huge lifestyle change for me to live with another person. My apartment isn't very big, and my closets are pretty full without any of her stuff. There is going to be an adjustment period for both of us.

I boxed up all my porno and brought in a couple of maids and had them work for 3 hours to get my place spotless. That way when Hoa comes here, I can tell her this is how I normally keep the apartment and how I expect her to keep it. :D

Seriously though, I just didn't want her to come here to a dirty place. She's going to be here in 3 days. She arrives on the 24th of June at 9pm.

Understatement of your life. Til you have kids.
Uh, little typo there. I think you meant to say burned instead. And if you didn't, yes, you did. Go with me on this one.

What BigV said.

If she finds it she'll burn it anyway, plus you'll have a big teary-eyed fight about it. Or, sell it and use the money to take her to dinner. Then you can have real sex.

What???? Why????
:confused:

Look, if I'm right, I'm right. (yeah, like that's gonna happen)

But if I'm wrong, they can look at her porno. Or your porno.

This is the opposite of taking an umbrella out with you on a cloudy day. In this case, better to want it and not have it (and then go get it) than to have it and not want it.

your mileage clearly varies. That's cool too.

Seems a little dishonest to me.
If you're into it, and you told her you're not or just hid it from her, and then she finds it - you lied. Why did you lie? What else have you lied about? How can she trust you now? Why don't you trust her enough to share the truth with her?*


*The things that will be going thru her mind instead of "Oh. Porn."

She hasn't been her before. Tell her it's required for American men to have porn in order to protect the Constitution from infringement. :blush:

For me, it was more the case of "out with the old and in with the new" or out with the fake and in with the real. what mrnoodle said.

Not everything that I used to do before I was married is appropos after we were married. And that's hardly a trust thing, consider dating. Did then, don't now. Or living alone, did, now don't. There are 1001 ways my life before and after marriage are different. Most good, most voluntary, some are no biggie, some medium, some are real sacrifices.

As to why did I lie and what did I lie about...you're not channelling my therapist, are you? Those are good, solid, meaty questions. Substantial questions, questions worthy of another thread, another tapestry even. I sense you ask in a hypothetical way, to encourage me to think about it. Ok, I'll bite.

*thinks about lying...*

A major motivation for lying is shame. Another is fear. Distrust. Laziness. There are other motivations for lying that are superficially more noble. To simplify. To avoid pain for one/both parties. Wishful thinking. To win. I have all these motivations, and more, in fluctuating proportions. These are flaws of mine. Flaws present in many people, flaws that are recognizable to many I imagine.

As I continue to mature and grow in grace as I grow in age, I strive to strengthen myself where I am weak. This striving happens in bursts. Sometimes, I have the chance to indulge one or more of these weaknesses and tell a lie. Every time I don't lie, I make that area of my life a little better. But I have a lot of room for improvement.

Still getting used to the wife being here. I woke up this morning and was suprised to see her. It's my mom's birthday and I can't get her to eat American food. Up 'till now, I've done everything the "Vietnamese way", but now she's in America and she's going to have to get used to the idea that she's going to have to meet me half way.

Better chain her to the hot dog cart before it's to late. Didn't you tell her in the US the man wears the pants in the family? The woman only tells him which pair. :lol:
Seriously though, if she isn't willing to respect your mother as I'm sure you respected all her family over there, then you've got some serious work to do.

Maybe you could take her to a hippie vegetarian restaurant, you know tofu, veggies, etc. Kind of cross–over/gateway food, ease her into the whole american culinary scene.

Seriously though, expect the culture shock to be real and profound. I never felt it when I left the US, but boy when I came back it was harsh. I love the US, but there are things about the way we live that are just plain whacked.

Isn't the best food in Cali anyway? When I vistied SF I was so jealous of the food you all had access to.