Precog dreams lead to choices that make them self fulfilling. ;)

I call that "Vuja De".

I went to my grampa's funeral when I was 10. Scared the living crap out of me! I would never put a child through that unless they were older and fully briefed on what to expect. I for one don't like funerals. Give me a memorail service, celebration, fiesta! whatever. Show pictures, run videos, Power Point presentation. I do not intend to make an appearance. It may be rude but who cares...I'm dead. Sue me!

In January I helped plan the memorial service for one of my best friends (suicide at 32). Planning the service and putting together the power point presentation were very helpful in the healing process. The actual service felt like it was staged for a bunch of people who hardly knew him, except when my friend the piper played Amazing Grace at the end. Couldn't get the projector to work during the service so we set it up on a loop at the wake which was way better - people could look and remember fondly at their leisure. The best was when an intimate group took the boat out and scattered his ashes at sea. Total closure.
Great. Now I got tears in my keyboard. I miss him.

funerals make me a little nervous because i know someone will make what they consider to be an important gesture and it will go horribly horribly wrong. flubbed eulogy is one thing. one of the best friends who agreed to play a song on his guitar finishing up by repeatedly smashing the guitar over the coffin is another. yes it really happened. out in Hobbs' neck of the woods.

I have both attended and officiated at funerals. The nicest one I went to was a Quaker Meeting for Memorial. I also thought the Conservative Jewish funeral I went to was well presented.

Catholic funerals are very difficult, IMHO.

good luck. I'll tell you a story sometime.