The Cellar

The Cellar (http://cellar.org/index.php)
-   Current Events (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=4)
-   -   Weird News (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=16997)

Undertoad 07-14-2008 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetwater (Post 468980)
concerns over the zoonotic nature of brucellosis

Two new dictionary words in one sentence, that rarely happens, thanks sw.

classicman 07-15-2008 01:51 PM

Woman finds brand new grenade in backyard

What more can I say, but.... Gooood Morning.

HungLikeJesus 07-15-2008 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 469354)
Woman finds brand new grenade in backyard

What more can I say, but.... Gooood Morning.

I like this quote:

Quote:

"It is quite unusual for someone to find a grenade in their backyard, especially one that hasn't been spent," Edmonton police spokeswoman Patrycia Chalupczynska said.

PIMPnazT 07-15-2008 06:26 PM

imagine that...
 
http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Sky...00828510447559

Crimson Ghost 07-15-2008 08:52 PM

"Edmonton police spokeswoman Patrycia Chalupczynska"


Hi Pat. I'd like to buy a vowel.

classicman 07-15-2008 09:56 PM

Tell him what he's won ....

HungLikeJesus 07-16-2008 12:09 AM

Police: GPS sucks, stop using it

Complete with pictures of crashes caused by people following their car GPS directions, even when it leads them astray. Like this:

http://www.gpsnuvi.com/blog/wp-conte...ps-train-1.jpg

TheMercenary 07-30-2008 02:43 PM

Preacher Freezer!

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/A...=1&oref=slogin

Shawnee123 07-30-2008 03:17 PM

Damn, and he's such a good actor. I guess that was the role of his life! :rolleyes:

lookout123 07-30-2008 03:27 PM

why would he have not disposed of the pieces at some point in the last three years? seriously stupid criminals.

glatt 07-30-2008 03:32 PM

Did he keep the fava beans and Chianti in the freezer next to her liver?

HungLikeJesus 07-30-2008 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123 (Post 472502)
why would he have not disposed of the pieces at some point in the last three years? seriously stupid criminals.

What a waste. The meat wouldn't be much good after three years.

Cicero 07-30-2008 07:17 PM

Anthony Hopkins? You have to be kidding me?!? lol!

Shawnee123 07-31-2008 11:11 AM

Who woulda thunk?

TheMercenary 07-31-2008 01:25 PM

Greyhead bus lines

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNew...hub=TopStories

Cicero 07-31-2008 06:49 PM

I would demand a refund. :)

That sounds pretty damned gruesome. Horror movies are made of less.

TheMercenary 07-31-2008 07:36 PM

Spikey

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2479...tal-spike.html

Sundae 08-13-2008 09:41 AM

1 Attachment(s)
From the BBC:
Quote:

A giant inflatable dog turd brought down a power line after being blown away from a Swiss museum.

The artwork, entitled Complex Shit, was carried 200 metres on the night of 31 July, reportedly breaking a greenhouse window before it landed again.

The sculpture, by American artist Paul McCarthy, was equipped with a safety system that should have deflated it.

The fake faeces has been returned and will remain on display at the Zentrum Paul Klee in Bern until October.

McCarthy is well known for his inflatable artworks, two of which - Blockhead and Daddies Bighead - were displayed outside the Tate Modern in London in 2003.

Sheldonrs 08-13-2008 10:05 AM

Shit happens.

Lena 08-13-2008 08:52 PM

dunno if it's true, but we'll find out Friday
 
http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/is-...307063964.html

Quote:

The search for Bigfoot is over, according to two US hunters who say they have found the body of the hairy ape-like creature and will back their claims up at a press conference tomorrow.

Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer say they discovered the body in a forest in northern Georgia, a south-east US state, about two weeks ago.

The pair, who reportedly operate a Bigfoot tracking business, will present "DNA evidence and photo evidence of the creature" at a press conference in California tomorrow.

Photos already released on the internet show a large ape-like animal crammed into a freezer, where it was being preserved.
Quote:

The body is reportedly male, over two metres tall, weighs over 230 kilograms, has reddish hair, blackish-grey eyes and human-like teeth.

"I got to be honest, when I first saw it I hated to see it in that state it was in. I wanted to capture one so the world could see it walking. I guess this is the next best thing for the time being," he said.

He said a video filmed by the two men the day they found the body showed at least "three others walking upright like a man".

HungLikeJesus 08-13-2008 08:59 PM

Quote:

The body is reportedly male, over two metres tall, weighs over 230 kilograms, has reddish hair, blackish-grey eyes and human-like teeth....
I'm sure someone is going to claim that this is their mother-in-law.

Aliantha 08-13-2008 09:05 PM

Actually, it sounds a lot like my cousin...

HungLikeJesus 08-13-2008 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha (Post 476007)
Actually, it sounds a lot like my cousin...

Including the "human-like teeth"?

Aliantha 08-13-2008 09:14 PM

Well that's the bit that makes me think it's probably couldn't be him.

Crimson Ghost 08-14-2008 12:33 AM

I'm kinda hoping that during the press conference, a reporter holds up a missing person report......

Shawnee123 08-15-2008 02:54 PM

They'll present DNA evidence? What, we know who Bigfoot's parents are? Are they assuming he isn't human and would not have human DNA (so we'll think he's an ape) or are they assuming he's human and will have human DNA (and we'll think he's just a big hairy human.)

I'll be watching this unfold over the weekend, you can count on that! But you know, isn't there a little part in every one of us that hopes Bigfoot (and Nessie) are real?

:lol:

HungLikeJesus 08-15-2008 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123 (Post 476429)
...
But you know, isn't there a little part in every one of us that hopes Bigfoot (and Nessie) are real?

:lol:

I just hope that you and the rest of the Cellar cast are real.

Shawnee123 08-15-2008 03:01 PM

We are frighteningly real. Emphasis on frighteningly.

Lena 08-15-2008 07:29 PM

An update on the Geogia Bigfoot article
 
http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...l?page=3&cat=8

Quote:

The long and short of it is this: the press conference was called to hype Tom Biscardi's internet talk show and both Bigfoot tracker businesses involved -- Searching For Bigfoot, Inc. and Bigfoot Tracker Atlanta. As is per usual in these cases, no real or hard evidence was presented, and, again as usual, promised at a later date. The public is left wanting, curious, and feeling a bit cheated (if of nothing other than their time). The Bigfoot press conference was nothing new and certainly produced nothing proving the existence of Bigfoot.
So basically, nothing is proven or disproven.

zippyt 08-19-2008 06:59 PM

Date line Fla , as a tropical storm comes ashor , Dumb ass Kite surfer desides it 'll be fun to step out in the wind with his Kite ,
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=cb5_1219102524

He May be ok !!

Sorta reminds me of the kid that steped out into a 90 knot wind with a Parachute when I was stationed in ICELAND ,
I beleve the quote was " Hey YA"LL WATCH THIS !!!! "
He pulled the rip cord and was GONE !!!!
We surched for 3 days for him , never found so much as a shoe
But there WAS a Parachute missing and there was a teenager missing


I guess its the Big Guys way of thinning the heard of Idgets !!!

lookout123 08-19-2008 08:45 PM

now that is hilarious zip. i wish that was caught on video.

BigV 08-22-2008 09:54 AM

RIP Wall Arch

Urbane Guerrilla 08-22-2008 03:35 PM

Quote:

But you know, isn't there a little part in every one of us that hopes Bigfoot (and Nessie) are real?

Quote:

I just hope that you and the rest of the Cellar cast are real.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123 (Post 476433)
We are frighteningly real. Emphasis on frighteningly.

Wot Shawnee sed. And Grrr! Snarl! <wave big hooky claws>

Crimson Ghost 08-24-2008 12:19 AM

I'm not real.

I'm just a pigmentation of your imagination.

Sundae 09-05-2008 04:15 AM

From the Star Tribune

A typo turns the annual stamp into a calling card for a phone-sex service.

By PAUL WALSH, Star Tribune

The federal government says it has no choice but to reluctantly keep distributing to millions of waterfowl hunters a toll-free phone-sex-service number that features a breathy woman promising callers that they can "talk only to the girls who turn you on" for $1.99 per minute.

About 3.5 million federal "duck stamps," featuring artwork by a Plymouth artist, are affixed to a card that bears the misprinted number, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service said Wednesday.

All waterfowl hunters age 16 and older must buy and carry the current Migratory Bird Conservation and Hunting Stamp, commonly known as the duck stamp. Sales of the stamp, which is produced by the U.S. Postal Service for Fish and Wildlife, raise about $25 million each year to fund wetland habitat acquisition for the national Wildlife Refuge System. The agency annually sells about 120,000 federal duck stamps in Minnesota. The stamp isn't valid for routine postage.

Rachel Levin, a Fish and Wildlife spokeswoman, called the misprint, which connects callers to a phone-sex service, "an unfortunate typographical error" that her agency "really regrets." She adds that the agency will keep selling the $15 stamps with the naughty number because reprinting the card would cost too much.

The correct number, 1-800-STAMP24 (1-800-782-6724), is for people wishing to order additional duck stamps. Levin said two digits of the phone number are transposed on the card that holds the self-adhesive version of the stamp. That incorrect number, 1-800-872-6724, translates to 1-800-TRAMP24. Callers to "Intimate Connections" are warned that they must be 18 years or older before proceeding.

Levin doubted that the digits were purposely transposed. "As far as we know," she said, "it was just an error."

The stamps were produced by Ashton Potter Ltd. of Williamsville, N.Y. Messages left with Ashton Potter's executives were not returned.

Shawnee123 09-05-2008 08:21 AM

"Thank you for calling...would you like a duck, or a fuck?"

glatt 09-05-2008 08:40 AM

So is it a typo or a misprint?

A typo would probably be the fault of the agency and a misprint would be the fault of the printer. If it's the fault of the printer, then it should be fixed for free. The agency is saying it will cost money to fix it, so that tells me it's the agency's fault. So why even mention the printer's name or use the word "misprint?" The story should clearly state that the agency gave out the wrong phone number and not even mention the printer or the word "print."

Why do I even care? It's the last sentence that tries to sound all ominous that the printer refused to comment. Like that makes them guilty or something.

Flint 09-05-2008 10:07 AM

Quote:

Why do I even care? It's the last sentence that tries to sound all ominous that the printer refused to comment. Like that makes them guilty or something.
We're conditioned to assume that a news story is a compact summary of the relevant material, which has been scoured over by an editor to remove superfluous verbage; therefore we assume that any sentences contained are actually pertinent to the story.

One of my least favorite tricks of the journalistic trade is to include a total non sequitur in the story, and let the assumed reason for including the sentence create a connection that doesn't exist, or can't be demonstrated directly.

This one is very popular: "couldn't be reached for comment" equals "GUILTY AS HELL."

TheMercenary 09-05-2008 11:15 AM

SG, that is funny as hell. Thanks for the story. I am passing it around.

BigV 09-05-2008 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint (Post 481204)
We're conditioned to assume that a news story is a compact summary of the relevant material, which has been scoured over by an editor to remove superfluous verbage; therefore we assume that any sentences contained are actually pertinent to the story.

One of my least favorite tricks of the journalistic trade is to include a total non sequitur in the story, and let the assumed reason for including the sentence create a connection that doesn't exist, or can't be demonstrated directly.

This one is very popular: "couldn't be reached for comment" equals "GUILTY AS HELL."

Flint:

Since the reader creates that connection only in his own head, how much of the responsibility for the unsupported conclusion does he bear?

Flint 09-05-2008 01:47 PM

The reader bears full responsibility.

However "The Media" (cue ominous music) has a standard vocabulary of assumption-producing statements, which they have "trained" the public to interpret in a certain way. It plays better on TV, where "tone" and facial expression can inform you "how" to hear a sentence.

From The Simpsons:
Quote:

Remember Marge, there's "the truth" [shakes head while frowning] and then there's "the truth!" [smiles enthusiastically while nodding].
Careful readers like glatt are savvy enough to recognize these pitfalls, but, I assure you, they don't end up in new stories on accident.

BigV 09-05-2008 03:13 PM

So the Constant Reader assumes all responsibility for the conclusions drawn from an article, despite your assertion that these misleading statements are not put in the stories by accident.

There's still a disconnect, for me, in your statements.

Perhaps these "assumption producing statements" wind up in stories by habit.

glatt 09-05-2008 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV (Post 481370)
Perhaps these "assumption producing statements" wind up in stories by habit.

Or so the Germans would have you believe.

Flint 09-05-2008 03:38 PM

Let me say this plainly: they put bullshit into news stories designed to INTENTIONALLY MISLEAD you.

That being said, it is YOUR FAULT if you fall for said bullshit.

There's no disconnect in that.

BigV 09-05-2008 03:51 PM

I tell a lie, you believe it and it's your fault?

Is there no... reciprocal responsibility on my part to *tell* the truth?

Flint 09-05-2008 03:56 PM

Okay, I understand what you're saying.

We're talking about being a careful reader and looking for "spin" in a new story. That's good advice. I advocate that. Yes, it's your fault if you are a sloppy reader. Life isn't a passive activity.

I remind you that they aren't technically telling a lie, just throwing a vague suggestion out there and hoping that you're a sponge that absorbs anything, without assessing it's toxicity.

lookout123 09-08-2008 06:15 PM

if you know that a source regularly lies yet you choose not to apply a very critical view of all new information they give you, then yes - you are to blame for being fooled.

Sundae 09-09-2008 08:15 AM

This really made me laugh.
I keep reading it and snorting.

From here
Louis Galvan at the Fresno Bee reports:
Quote:

A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed food seasoning over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.

Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he's ever heard of, said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.

Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.

"It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.

Arrested was Antonio Vasquez Jr., 21, of Fresno.

Burrimond said deputies headed to the victims' home in the 300 block of South Thompson Avenue near Kings Canyon Road shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday regarding a burglary in progress.

The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying "Pappy's Seasoning" to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.

Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims' kitchen.

After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.

Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.

"That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said.

"I tell you, this was one weird case."

lookout123 09-09-2008 01:22 PM

That is some funny shiznit.

supervisor: "how'd you get that bruise on your head phil?"

Phil: "I don't want to talk about it."

Super:"And what's that smell? have you been cooking?"

Phil: "I don't want to talk about it."
Super: "Did you hear about that weird burglary last night?"

Phil: "Shut the hell up, I don't want to talk about it!"

dar512 09-09-2008 04:51 PM

snopes says this one is false, but it makes me laugh anyway.

[Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:"Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early one Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out.

A replacement fuse was not available, but Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.

'Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off, or we might both be dead,' stated Wallis.

'I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened,' said the investigating officer.

On being notified of the wreck, Lavinia Poole asked how many frogs the boys had caught and whether anyone had gotten them from the truck!

Undertoad 09-09-2008 05:07 PM

Hey Mythbusters did that one early on:
Quote:

The bullet did work as a replacement fuse, however when a short circuit was created, the wiring burnt up and the bullet did not fire. When the wiring was upgraded to a higher gauge, the bullet did fire out of the fusebox, but not with enough velocity to cause any serious injury. Though both Adam and Jamie admitted that the myth was plausible from their tests, they had to call it busted due to a lack of conclusive evidence...

Crimson Ghost 09-10-2008 01:12 AM

dar, I first heard that one from Lewis Black.
Don't care if it's real or not, it's funny as hell.

morethanpretty 09-19-2008 08:30 PM

Quote:

With real estate values plummeting and foreclosed homes sitting empty, a family of bobcats apparently decided the time was right to pounce.

So last week, they slipped out of the parched foothills of Lake Elsinore and into a spacious vacant home in well-groomed Tuscany Hills.

Residents of the development got their first look Aug. 27 when the feline squatters -- at least two adults and three kittens -- lolled atop a wall outside the Spanish-style house.

Someone called 911, reporting mountain lions. Four police cruisers showed up, and officers ordered everyone inside. But soon they were out snapping photos along with the neighbors.

Bobcats are not known to attack humans, said Monique Middleton of Animal Friends of the Valley, which provides animal-control services. "But are they pussycats? No. Can they do a lot of damage? Yes," she said. "They usually look for a food-and-water source, and there is an old koi pond in the backyard and that's where they are headed."

She said she expected the animals to move on in a few weeks, when the kittens are old enough to travel.

Tuscany Hills has been hit hard by foreclosures, and the house on Vista Palermo has been empty at least six months, neighbors said.

Said Scott Brown, who with his wife, Karen, moved there from Long Beach to be close to nature: "They are great neighbors, and as long as they don't want to baby-sit my kids, it's not a problem."

--David Kelly
From here:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/unle...homeowner.html

HungLikeJesus 09-19-2008 09:33 PM

They lol-ed atop the wall...

xoxoxoBruce 09-21-2008 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512 (Post 482508)
snopes says this one is false, but it makes me laugh anyway.

Headlight circuits don't have fuses, but yes, it's a great story.:D

BigV 09-24-2008 05:20 PM

speaking of headlights....

PETA urges Ben and Jerry's to use breast milk instead of cow milk.

Cicero 09-24-2008 09:54 PM

I urge PETA to quit acting like dumb asses. :)

classicman 09-24-2008 10:14 PM

I urge PETA to dissolve itself.

xoxoxoBruce 09-25-2008 02:44 AM

I vote for implode. ;)

classicman 09-25-2008 08:20 AM

THat works too - better in fact!


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:56 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.