we don't pay you to notice things
 

Joe Versus the Volcano:
Mr. Waturi tells Joe, "You've gotta get yourself into a flexible frame." (makes a rigid square shape with his hands)

ha ha ha wtf is a flexible frame ?? bosses don't care, just do it

What Bruce said, when it's your name on the door you get to make the rules. Sad but true.

Sad, true, but not necessary. It is entirely possible to give a voice to the workers, and even build a society with a more reasonable value system. I would mention the names of these things but I don't want to scare anybody. ... scroll down for the shock of your life

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Labor Unions, and Socialism.

Things have been slow lately at work for me, and I've been taking on odd tasks in an effort to stay busy and keep my job.

Today I am off to the US Court of Appeals for Veterans Claims, which I think is fitting considering Veterans Day is tomorrow. I'll be supporting a pro bono case my firm took on. We have several of these veterans cases, and I should be doing more of this in the future.

The VA sent us a disk containing all the records for this veteran. But sometimes they forget to include stuff. So I'll go over there and look at their actual record and compare it to what they gave us and make sure we have it all. It should take me most of the day. I'll go through page by page for a few thousand pages.

I should be doing more of these in the future. Maybe once a week or so. Today I'm going over with a guy who's done this several times and he'll show me the ropes. Lots of red tape over there apparently. Lots. Like there will be someone sitting in the room with us watching us as we go through a few thousand pages of records, page by page. And I'll have to ask permission to use the bathroom and be escorted or something. :eyebrow:

Well, that sounds like, uh--

That sounds awful, actually.

Put vodka in ya thermos, and Irish up ya coffee.

Often.

It was actually kind of fun at times. I'm back now. We didn't finish. The computer they gave us to use is horrible. You have to click through 3-4 error messages every time you open a PDF and after looking at PDF files for an hour, the computer freezes. So you have to call the guy who logged you in to the system and get him to insert his ID into the reader on the keyboard and reboot the computer.

We got through about 200 PDF files in 4.5 hours of time, but that was only 2 hours of actual working time. The rest was sitting around waiting for things to get fixed for us. And during those 2 productive hours, I'd guess 50% of the time was closing error messages that were popping up.

I don't know how government workers can stand working there.

So I was friendly with everyone and joking with everyone and they were all nice.

For lunch I walked over to the Harris Teeter for the 9.99 prime rib special. I was on the clock during lunch and the firm picked up the tab.

The lady at Harris Teeter cut the prime rib about an inch and a half thick. as I carried the clam shell box up to the register to pay, it literally felt like about 3 pounds or so of food. I was looking for a scale so I could actually weigh it, but unfortunately, none were nearby.

This is the carving station.
Attachment 62329
And this was my lunch.
Attachment 62328

I couldn't finish it and didn't want to bring the leftovers back into the VA.

The 72 year old batty lady who was babysitting us dropped several hints that she wanted to leave for her 3 day weekend at 2:30 this afternoon, and the computer had frozen up at about 1:45 and the contact hadn't come yet to reboot it for us, so we left at 2:00.

we didn't finish the file review, so we'll try to go back on Tuesday.

At least you got a good lunch out of the deal.

Maybe your firm can help me with my case. I'm trying to get the VA to give me a private duty female nurse who's 20 something, pretty, with a killer bod and nymphomaniac tendencies. I'm not sick or injured; but, it would help me with my PTSD (pastime sexual depravity). When she's finally done with me I hope to be 100% disabled. That's the only cure.

We can make that happen; however there will be someone sitting in the room with you watching as you go through whatever it is you go through. And you'll have to ask permission to use the bathroom and be escorted or something.

A 20-something, hot, nympho, nurse...

AND an audience?

I'm in.

My two year nightmare will be over this week, as they are expanding, and need to abuse a new hire for a while.

My new seat will be in a cube, on a second floor, oddly isolated from everyone. It's perfect. I expect my stress to cut in half and my productivity to double. It might even keep me in this job.

Yeah!

Awesome! Maybe they'll notice how much better you're performing up there and keep others away from that area for longer.

Is this 'scratch-your-balls-privacy', or 'pick-your-nose-privacy', or, 'youporn-in-another-tab-privacy'?;)

Either way, sounds like you're better off.

Glatt, that lunch looks like a typical slab from Texas! It's making me HUNGRY!!!! I haven't eaten in ten days now other than broth and tea. One more week until I get to see a doctor and maybe even begin treatment, although I hold little hope of that so soon.

Yeah, it's all of the above privacy: I'm one of three people on the second floor, and the other two are in private offices on the other side of a huge room. Then there's a cube partition that protects anyone from seeing my screens.

Now, the only unfortunate thing is that a lot of people use the bathrooms that are ten feet away, so there will still be a regular march of people, just not as regular; and for the most part they won't have any need to look in at me.

The long-term plan is to move all of engineering in this room of cubes, but this company is shitty at executing long-term plans. I might be in this level of privacy for a while.

Cool. I figured your exit interview would be very floor plan focused.

Focus
 

I've been working late, like until 2-4am, on a big migration project that is very high profile that it's 100% my responsibility to sign-off that I have tested every possible function of all systems/interfaces--compiled a list of scenarios, devised a test methodology, work through technical issues, take every variable into account.

This requires a total focus that I can only achieve after normal business hours.

Yesterday, mid-morning, I was on a con call with the vendor, and they wanted me to queue up a new test scenario--a process that takes about 20 minutes and that I've devised a workflow that cannot be deviated from --and can easily be ƒucked up.

Halfway through, a couple of co-workers started up a casual conversation about 10 feet away from my desk. And my brain just stopped. And I realized, it's literally, physically impossible for me to do this task while people--that I can see out of the corner of my eye!--are over-writing my internal dialogue--a repository of variables that must be available on-demand.

And that's why I've been working until 4am --because there's literally no other time that it's possible for me to do this work.



...or...what if...I had an office with a door...

Here ya go and put on the headphones:

https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/wh...eGenerator.php

In my previous office I had to run this at a very loud volume, and spike the frequencies that match voices, to achieve total isolation. Not great but it's better than nothing.

Yeah, you're right. I think I posted a few years back, I tried out different "sound isolating" headphones, but nothing beat my Sony MDR-7506s. I would play "Music For The Mozart Effect, Volume 2, Heal the Body" and behind that, run https://simplynoise.com/ to fill in the gaps (constant pink noise, oscillating white noise).

UT, this is great
https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/wh...eGenerator.php

I love graphic EQs <3 <3 <3

I am about to be moved into the strangest office arrangement I’ve ever seen in a clinic. Our patient care space is being expanded and will eat up the two docs’ offices that exist. Okay. A third doc is being added. The powers that be have arranged for little cubicle-things to be constructed in the (previous) conference room. The cubicles are about 7 feet square, do not reach to the ceiling, and have all-glass fronts!! The plan is to put desks against the wall (they’re putting in the wiring now).

So we will be in little fishbowls of glass, with no hindrance to sound (so much for HIPAA and the confidential calls I make as an MRO to inform a company rep that their employee is positive for X, Y, and Z).

And our computer screens will face the front glass, so anyone can read over our shoulders ... and the cubicles are so small there will be no problem doing that. There will be lots of opportunity for people to gawk, as they all have to walk past the 3 cubicles to get to the single staff bathroom. There are so many privacy/HIPAA issues here ... leaving aside how horrid these things will be to work in.

I am just shaking my head. Can’t even begin. And no input has been/will be requested or welcomed. Construction on these things began only a few days ago and is nearly complete, because they’re ‘assemble by number’ items out of boxes.

That's just bonkers.

Does your organization have a Compliance Officer you can report HIPAA violations to? Sounds like you will need to move into the cubicles and then document everything that qualifies as a regulatory issue, and report that through the proper channels. They should be required--by policy--to remediate the issues, and you should be shielded--by policy--from retaliation--but obviously confirm these things.

There is a Compliance Officer, but reporting this will be my quickest way to unemployment. Been there, done that, don’t want another t-shirt. The government says nice things about protecting whistleblowers and those who report problems, but for the most part it’s just noise.

Set a picture of people mooning as your computer screen background and switch to it when people get nosy.

If anyone complains, tell them it's online proctology CME.

The push for energy efficiency...

My new digs are such a different feeling, it changes *everything*.

Suddenly, I can concentrate. My job is now suddenly much easier.

I'm weaning off the anti-depressants because I don't think I'll need them now

I'll be able to continue the weight loss I need to forge ahead with

My rotator cuff tendonitis is falling away

All good news!

It's wonderful to hear this. :)

In just 3 weeks it'll make your hair shiny and more manageable.

Good news everyone!

There will be more of it, I expect.

Lots of anxiety these days, and I need to vent.

My title is "Assistant to the Director" and what that means in practice is that a bunch of the administrative stuff the Director would have to do is my responsibility instead. I just do it without supervision. So I'm like a mini-director. I've been here 27 years and I have 27 years worth of good reviews sitting in my personnel file.

The director (my boss) retired at the end of 2017. It's been 3.5 months since she left. They haven't hired a new director. One of the roles the director had was to assign each new litigation to a team when those new cases came in. They got a senior paralegal to take over that role temporarily. I still do the same stuff I have always done, but it isn't keeping me 100% busy. I help out a couple days a week by running over to Veterans Affairs and reviewing files for new pro bono cases that come in. Feb and March were busy, but April is looking a little slow.

I report to the Chief Human Resources officer, but have only met with her once for 20 minutes two months ago. Basically, I have no boss. No person to keep happy. No person to review me.

Top firm management has brought in consultants to look at the structure of our department, and the IT department that works with our department. The consultants have chatted with some of our paralegals, but never bothered to talk to me.

I'm good, and well regarded. But the consultants don't know me. Our firm's CEO doesn't know me. He makes a real effort to not know anyone, presumably so it's easier on him when he fires them. Most of the big partners I have worked with in the past are retiring, and I don't have as strong relationships with the next generation. They are the ones in charge now.

All this is to say, I think my position is likely to be eliminated. I have a bunch of work I do that will be reallocated to others. Our department and the IT department will likely be merged, I suspect, and I'll be one of the casualties.

So I'm looking around for a place to leap to before I get squashed. I think I have a decent shot at being a Trademark Legal Assistant. The boss of that department is a poor manager, and the workers are overworked. They need more workers. I ran a report of their hours and they work longer hours than I am accustomed to, and they don't take vacations very often, even though they have the leave built up.

So I think I'm going to try to make this move. I'd be good in the job, but the department is poorly managed, and I may be unhappy there. I'm used to having a good boss, and having a poor manager as a boss will be a change. The attorneys in that group are not all that great either. One guy is a really nice guy though.

I could also wait and maybe things will turn out OK. Maybe I'll survive the coming shake up. That's delusional thinking though.

Yesterday morning I sent an e-mail requesting a meeting with the Chief HR person to talk this over. But she didn't acknowledge my email. Maybe I'm already too late. Or maybe she just forgot to respond. I'm going to follow up with her secretary this afternoon and see if I can get on her schedule.

My wife is being really supportive, and we have a nest egg that might last as much as a year.

No need to reply, just venting.

Oh, and one real positive about joining this trademark group is that I would be very marketable once I got training. Right now, my job is so unique there is basically none other like it. I'd have to completely reinvent myself to find a job elsewhere.

Oh, and to get back on topic, my wife and I just realized on Monday that in the two years since I got placed in this open office, we have stopped chatting with each other during the day, and I think it's negatively impacting our relationship.

That sucks. Hope it shakes out better than you're expecting. I guess it's impossible that they might be promoting you to director instead?

Maybe, but I am skeptical.

I got this email two weeks ago. Hidden recipients list.

http://cellar.org/2017/office-space-bobs.png

Good luck sir. I hope that it will work out for the best.

In one sense then, if it's hurting your most important relationship, is it change that's overdue?

Absolutely overdue.

I just hope I can make the jump before I am swatted.

Ugh. Who moved my cheese?

That is anxiety-inducing. At the least.

:fingerx:

Wait, so... April 5th was a week ago. It was just a generic session the way it was described, no one got let go right there on the spot?

It's actually kind of funny. I mean, it's my life they are fucking with, so it's not funny. But seriously, who sets up a training like that?

Gah! Hope it all turns out ok for you Glatt. Sounds like you are doing all the smart things. If the job in the trademark department is a stepping stone maybe the bad bits of it will be more bearable. X


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No one got let go on the spot.

So either it's a really fucked up generic session, or they are trying to scare people into leaving of their own accord instead of firing them.

I wonder if anyone went to the session? I was at the Veterans Affairs, reviewing files and didn't go.

It's possible I'm just reading too much into a whole bunch of coincidental stuff, but I spoke to my old boss on Monday (She called to wish me a happy birthday) and she told me I should be anxious about my job and TM was a good idea.

And then this morning I spoke to the paralegal who is sort of an acting director, and she started off telling me everything was all rosy, but then when I told her I was thinking about TM, she was like "Seriously dude, you should do that."

Doooo eeeeet! WoooOOOOooo, glaaat, DOO EEEET! [/ghost of Christmas future]

ugh.

Change abounds at my place too. I'm safe, but I don't think my (awesome) boss is and next in line is insufferable.

Jesus Christ. Good luck brother, work on the marriage relationship at least as much as the work.

^ so this.

Ok, so it's Friday and I am still here.

This is unfolding a little more awkwardly than I had hoped.

I wanted to meet the HR person and then have her approach the trademark manager to sell her on the idea, but the HR person was blowing me off. She went almost 3 days before getting back to me about even getting on her schedule.

So I contacted the trademark manager directly. We know each other superficially and I had done a few little projects for her before. So I shot her an email asking if we could talk. Two minutes later, I got an email from the HR person saying she was sorry it had taken so long but we could meet Friday. I assumed the trademark person called HR and now HR was running interference.

But then the trademark person responded and said I could come by then.

So I spoke to the trademark person, and it was pleasant. Maybe cordial is the word. But she was surprised by my request. Literally. Wasn't prepared for a response. She said she would talk it over with others and get back to me. I told her I had an appointment with HR for Friday and she said that was perfect. I should get the ball rolling with HR.

So I'm meeting with HR this afternoon. Maybe it's an appointment with my executioner, or maybe they will hear me out and things will just fall into place.

Meanwhile, there is a firm Management Committee meeting today, and I've briefed one of the partners on that committee on a particular issue, so they are going to be throwing my name around as a fount of knowledge and wisdom in this meeting that is chaired by the CEO who might be considering laying me off.

The cool thing is, I feel great. I've been anxious for a fucking year or two about this and one way or another it's going to be over soon. And I am the one who is making it happen now.

I totally validate your feeling--knowing that your expertise will be highlighted in an important meeting is like a warm blanket that comforts you. Also, taking charge, being proactive rather than being trapped in anxiety--very liberating. You're an awesome dude, everybody knows it.

This. Progress is way better than stagnation, and the fact that it might turn out happily after all is just icing on the cake. Hope it works out the way you want it to, but glad it will work out regardless!

Echo on flint and clod, taking charge of this was smart and healthy.

Good on ya, glatt. Keeping my fingers crossed that all works out in your favor! :fingerx:

Meeting went well. But no resolution one way or another. I clearly got the message across that I am willing to help out elsewhere and am a team player.

HR manager is skilled. I like her. Even though she may end up firing me one day.

She is going to make inquiries about me joining trademark.

Glatt, you’re making all the right moves at work. (Don’t forget to chat up the wife). X


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I'll be the wet blanket.

Don't forget that the HR manager is in charge of managing the Resources of the company of type Human. You're a product, not a customer, to put it in current event terms. She doesn't work for you, though she may like you.

True.

But on the other hand, if she has one spot in a lifeboat, and I am in her good graces, she is more likely to give that spot to me than to an employee who is not trying.

Also true.

For the record, I think you're doing the best you can, including maintaining (the appearance of) a good relationship with the HR team--with everyone who can help you. Just plain good.

YOU work for you, and that's a damn good team, albeit, small. I'm *definitely* Team glatt. :cheer:

GO GLATT!

By the sounds of it you read it and played it just right.

I've dealt with a lot of HR from two companies recently, and -whilst I echo BigV's sentiments about their official loyalties- I've learned that they are also networking for when you or they jump ship. They may have to fire you ...but in your next job you may be in a position to hire them.... they know better than anyone how the impression and networking things work, and they want to do the best by you as they can in the circumstances because it's good for them too.

Yey Glatt - you sound like you're handling this brilliantly. It really doesn't hurt to remind the people who may be making decisions on staffing that you have useful skills that are transferable across departments.

HR operates for the benefit of the company (in theory) - but that also includes good use and retention of human resources.