No

Is that a banana in your pocket?

No. It's a plantain.

Have you ever eaten a deep-fried Twinkie?

No, but I would probably enjoy doing so.

Do you actually like cole slaw, or do you only eat it because you get it free with your sandwich?

yes.

does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

yes...



do you randomly call out other people's names during sex?

No

Have you ever had your back hair waxed?

no

have you ever had someone elses mail sitting in your house for a days with the intention of walking down the street to put it in their mail box but then wondered what could be inside and openned it and it actually had money in it?

No Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?

yes, and she wore a blue dress.

have you ever gone anywhere in drag?

Yes (halloween party - I felt free :blush: )

Do you think the Drew Carey Show was funny?

no

Don't you hate his glasses?

No, they work for his facial structure.

Do you swear in front of your mother?

fuck yeah

will you marry me?

I thought you'd never ask. Can I bring me mum?

yes, if you feel that strongly about flowers, but I always thought roses were more romantic.

Have you ever claimed a food allergy because you just really don't like something ?

no, i really am allergic to pumpkin. took years for people to believe me though.

will humans wipe themselves out?

Yes, but hopefully they'll wipe themselves off, first.

Have you ever had so much green creme de minthe that the next day your shit was green?

No.
Did you ever put off cleaning your bathroom for six months?

yes

Ever had to much GoldShlager and woken up with a gold tooth the next morning ??

No

Have you ever played strip poker with someone(s) of the opposite sex?

Yes

Have you ever been skinny-dipping?

YES

Have you ever been woken up by a cowboy who politely tips his hat and then says "sorry ma'am but I do believe you are trespassing on my ranch?"

No

Have you ever left your house in the morning and forgotten where you parked your car?

no

Have you ever gotten into your can and forgotten where your house was?

Yes (i assume you meant *car* but if you meant a *can* of beer then, well, Yes to that too.

ever been wrongly accused by the law?

yes (and i meant car -- o cna't tpye)

Have you ever been RIGHTLY accused by the law?

yes (riding on the back of a train that just happened to have undercover cops on it)

have you ever answered yes or no to a post to admit that you wet yourself frequently?

ahh, no. wait! i mean, yes? i'm not sure, i was on the moon. . . . with steve.

have you ever had the feeling that you've been here before?

no

have you ever eaten tongue?

no

have you ever eat....hang on...havent i been here before?

yes

have you ever wished on a star?

Yes.

Have you ever wished on a truckload of hay?

no.

Have you ever wished FOR a truckload of hay?

No

Have you ever wished for a boatload of money?

YES (every fuckin' day.)

Have you ever won anything substantial? (not the $20 scratch-off)

Yes

Have you ever thrown up off of a third floor deck, or higher?

NO

Have you ever been thrown off the third deck or higher?

no


ever wish you'd never met someone?

most assuredly, yes.

have you ever been in a hot air balloon?

no, but i've had to dodge a few

ever had dreams shattered by a loved one?

yes.

ever had a blessing fall into your lap, figuratively speaking.

YES

Ever had what you thought was a blessing turn into THE BEAST FROM HELL?

YES

Have you ever been smart enough to shitcan the beast, right from jumpstreet?

pssssstttttt..... I guess I'll never learn.

No.


Have you ever left the house wearing two different shoes?

Every day. A left and a right.

Have you ever wished you had worded something differently?

no, i mean yes (ps. nice answer)

have you ever had something in your teeth all day and none of your friends pointed in out?

YES, but probably not what you think

Have you ever reported someone to the IRS just for grins?

Not until right now, Capn. :lol:

As you were.

No.

Have you ever given up on something you formerly believed very strongly?

Yes...I was anti-gun until a few years ago.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, but I do believe that the infatuation referred to can become love.

Do you have a gut?

Yes

Do you have guts?

yes, (in my gut)

have you ever been to legoland?

No.

Do you crave the smell of Play-Doh?

Not often.

Is there really nothing like the smell of NaPalm in the morning?

Yes, Victory

Is one of your testicles (men) / breasts (women) noticably bigger than the other?

No.

Do you have an amusing birthmark?

yes? (i have a birthmark on my leg so i guess it's got a stand up career)

have you been to Kauai?

No.

Do you think 'beauty marks' a-la Cindy Crawford's mole make then more attractive?

(They annoy me, personally. Take Matt Damon. He's cute, but that thing on his face would drive me nuts.)

No

Do you want to see a birthmark on someone's genitals?