Mum thought Grandad was holding on until the 30th, the anniversary of Nanny's death.
Personally I think he was simply an East End boy used to stubbornly holding on to what was his, and his strength gave out.

Wolf you have made a big difference in the lives of her and her family.
And all the kind things other posters have said.
Sorry it's turned out this way.

So sorry, wolf. I hope crazynurse is able to make it home...

Today we are meeting again with the hospice team, and should find out whether they have deemed crazynurse stable enough for transport home. They are doing one more dialysis this morning, so that she'll (hopefully) be clear enough when her granddaughters get her to have some good time with them. That was a cluster to begin with ... before crazynurse got really sick, her daughter moved to Saint Louis. When crazynurse's sister called her Wednesday night to say, this is it ... she's going on hospice, the daughter says ... well, I can't take the kids out of school early, and I'll leave (driving) on Saturday ...

Yeah. We don't expect her to make it that long, dumbass. Get your ass on a plane.

After a number of really angry phone calls and emails, the daughter has agreed to fly, and will be here this afternoon with the grandkids.

It's so sad. :(

I'm really sorry wolf, and ditto what the others have said about having you as a friend.

[/Off topic]

My mother-in-law went through something a bit like that.
My wife made drove from PDX to Montana with each crisis.
We finally got the "This time it's it" call, and she made the trip again.

When she got there, the hospital room was filled with family.
As Edy opened the door, her Mom woke up, looked around, and said:
"I'm so glad you could all come to visit me"

MIL lasted for several more weeks.

[/Back to OP]

Sorry to hear all this, Wolf.

We brought crazynurse home last night.

But we didn't have time to warn the neighborhood.

You see, in emergency services, there are ways to welcome people home.

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6039/6...1971b7cc68.jpg
IMAG0131 by Storm Hawk Rising, on Flickr

The family knew this was going on.

The neighbors didn't. And crazynurse didn't.

Oh, and neither did the guys driving crazynurse's ambulance. As they come around the corner, all they see is flashing lights.

"Something's going on. I don't think that's your house ... Oh, it's your house ..."

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6042/6...1ed2a20286.jpg
IMAG0136 by Storm Hawk Rising, on Flickr

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6231/6...8cafd67812.jpg
IMAG0137 by Storm Hawk Rising, on Flickr

This is how we do it.

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6214/6...5986d7169b.jpg
IMAG0139 by Storm Hawk Rising, on Flickr

Special Thanks to Towamencin Fire Company and Lansdale Volunteer Medical Service Corps. When they left, they hit the sirens.

crazynurse was either a founding member of Lansdale VMSC or darn close to it. And definitely is a founding member of the Montgomery County Critical Incident Stress Management Team.

And an EMT and paramedic instructor. She has had shiny new EMTs come up to her and tell her that she taught their parents or grandparents.

Just wow.
That's a homecoming.

Are you in the pic, Wolf?
I don't think I've ever seen you before.

That was really nice of them. Most tributes are posthumous, she was able to enjoy her's. I think it may get the neighbors involved in the time she has left, too.

I am not in that photo, I'm taking it.

One of my friends took a picture of crazynurse and I in the hospital, I'll see if I can get it from him.

Wow! That's awesome.

Was she alert enough to appreciate what was going on?

That is touching, amazing. It hits me right in the heart.

Warm thoughts to all of you...just wow!

Well done.

Crazynurse was alert and aware during her homecoming, as well as throughout today, much of which was spent holding court for a number of visitors, Including several folks from the nuthouse I havent seen since that fateful day in April. Not sure how many "good" days we have left. Tonight we watched Dances with Wolves, which is one of her favorites.

I also spent time entertaining her seven year old granddaughter. We made a yarn doll, a God's Eye, and did some finger-knitting.

I have to get some sleep, its my turn to cook tomorrow .... Beast Stew and Drunken Dragon Dogs.

Wolf, I know we keep saying it, but you are a true friend. Blessings on you!

I too am impressed by "wolf", and have enjoyed all of her postings.

The world needs many more wolves because we are all likely to become Crazynurses.

I am so sorry to hear this wolf. I was hoping that she had turned the corner on the way to recovery. She is lucky to have had a friend like you by her side this whole time

I remember the Drunken Dragon Hot Dogs. They sound a bit salty for my palate, but I could tinker and use real toms rather than tom sauce.
I reckon some pineapple would go well too...

:) You're a good friend, wolf.

I remember the Drunken Dragon Dogs, too.

:)

Crazynurse passed tonight at around 12:12 pm on 11-21-11. There is more to say, but I can't do it right now.

Thank you all for your kindness.

Sorry to hear wolf. That homecoming was great to see, gotta love how health care folks look out for each other even with the little stuff.

Wolf I am so sorry to hear this. Know that you did everything possible to help your friend. My thoughts are with you.

Sending hugs to Wolf.

I'm sure you made things better.

Hugs from here as well. You did everything and more than a friend could. I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry too wolf. *hugs*

I'm sorry wolf. Thinking of you.

wolf, maybe in the near future you'll find some comfort in this:

I was so impressed with crazynurse's homecoming. I was telling my mom about it. She worked at the hospital for years (in registration) and has the utmost respect and admiration for people in the medical field, having seen every day what they do for people.

She exclaimed "Well isn't that wonderful?" and we both got a little teary at the idea.

Your friend touched the lives of people she's never even met. That's pretty amazing.

Sorry, wolf.

I've been thinking about that homecoming over the last couple of days. It was really beautiful. You are a most excellent friend.

sorry wolf.

Well, shit wolf. I'm so sorry. I don't know how (but you do) please take care of yourself *TOO*. I know, we all know you take care of others. Give yourself some of that love too, for us if you must.

((((((wolf))))))

sorry to hear this Wolf ,
glad she had a friend like you to help her thru this

As do you, Wolf. You are a deeply compassionate person.

So sorry you lost a friend.
Thank you for sharing her story with us.

I am so sorry to hear of her passing. You absolutely inspired me with all that you did for her. I can't imagine how difficult, frustrating... it all must have been for you.
I think ANYONE would be truly blessed to have a friend care for them as you have.
Again, I'm so sorry for her and her family. My condolences to all.
Hugs to you.

Sorry for your loss, Wolf.

I'm sorry about your friend's passing. At least she was home where she wanted.

I am at home. Yesterday was spent making the arrangements with the funeral director, which is another entire story to tell.

Crazynurse's homecoming was followed by a weekend of joy, love, and laughter. Visitors came to share memories, and occasionally tell a bad joke.

Each night crazynurse chose a movie to watch. Saturday was Dances with Wolves, and Sunday was Spaceballs. We were going to work our way through some other Mel Brooks movies next.

While we were watching the movie, crazynurse's 15 month old grandson was playing alone in the kitchen. He was running around and giggling, showing one of his first birthday cards to someone, and running around like he was being chased, and holding his arms up the way he does when he wants to be picked up by someone. The older daughter and I were watching him, looked at each other and wondered if he were playing with Pop-Pop Bob, who had promised to come for crazynurse when it was time.

As her daughter and I were settling her in for the night on Sunday, crazynurse asked me if I were staying. I had prepared to do so, and had a bag at the house already. I told my intention for that night was to go home, but that if she wanted me to stay, I would stay. She asked me to stay, and so I grabbed my bag, brushed my teeth, pulled off my sweatshirt, kicked off my sneakers and laid down on the couch.

Notice, please, that I didn't say that I got my adorably cute jammies out of my bag, put them on, and laid down. I was fully dressed.

We were all exhausted. I was asleep within a couple of minutes.

I had a very vivid dream about going to talk to crazynurse's spirit guide, and to offer her food for the journey. Her daughters both told me (the one in the room next to her, as well as the one with the baby monitor, that they heard crazynurse and I talking to each other … but “not in English, in some other language I never heard.”)

I woke up suddenly after that, I think in response to a change in crazynurse's breathing. I woke up her daughter who got the younger daughter downstairs.

Within a few minutes of that, with all of us there talking to her, holding her hand, crazynurse passed, at 12:12 am on Monday, November 21, 2011 … not the exact 20th anniversary of her husband's death, but, like him, three days before Thanksgiving.

We'll all miss you Janie.

Wow, that dream and speaking in tongues thing is spooky.

When I go, I want it to be like that. Seriously, I can't think of a better way. Surrounded by loved ones in my own house. You did good, wolf.

Oh Wolf, how moving! How marvellous that you helped her to be at home, surrounded by love an laughter (and bad jokes) in her last few days. That really does sound like it couldn't have been any better. Well done, for all you did!

There was at least one narrowly averted disaster involving a visit. There was a group of (mostly) nurses that worked at the nuthouse who came to see crazynurse. These ladies called themselves "The Sisterhood" and had a lot of good and crazy and supportive times with each other. All of them had arrived at one time and were having a joint visit.

I was busy in the kitchen doing some cooking, and letting them have their time. One of them came up to me with a smudge stick and a candle and asked me if I had any matches.

"Not for you!" I said.

She was quite taken aback, thinking I was being insulting toward her and their wanting to do a ceremony to ease crazynurse's transition ... before she could blast me (I saw it building up), I said one word that changed everything. "Oxygen."

They're nurses, but they're psych nurses, you see.

So, they thanked me for preventing them from blowing up themselves, crazynurse, and the house. I taught them how to do a dry smudging, and they proceeded.

At one point they asked me into their Circle, because crazynurse was again thanking me for all the help and support I had given. One of the nursesisters made mention of the empty place in their circle, and how they would honor her. Then crazynurse did it. She suggested that I should be brought into their circle to hold that space.

So, I've been inducted.

As they went around the Circle, saying their last goodbyes, I started some chants for them ... The Peace Chant (an intertribal), and then Atabey (Earth Mother's) Change Chant (a Taino/Central American chant).

Crazynurse sure liked it. So did they.

And now I'm invited to a Christmas Dinner, at which there will be an empty chair with a Strawberry Daquiri at it ... and a glass of water, which crazynurse said she'd make move to show that she was there with them.

cheers to you, cheers to crazynurse.

Oh, wolf. How touching!
How beautiful that you were there with her!!

It sounds like a really good passing.

peace, my friend.

crazynurse's funeral was today.

It turns out that I remember a lot of the Catholic Mass. That thing, where they say give me your children to me until they are twelve, and they will be mine forever? It's kind of true.

It was a lovely service. The priest's homily was very good, and hit on a lot of significant points of crazynurse's life and work, rather than being a cookie-cutter "she was a good wife and mother" sort of thing.

After the communion, I was invited to the altar for my eulogy. One of my friends said that as I finished, the sun came through the stained glass windows, and lit first me, and then the whole altar.

I didn't notice. I was busy trying not to lose my place. Or stutter. Or fall down the altar steps when I finished.

I made her mother and daughters cry, and a lot of people laugh. I gave the printed copy to her mom. Everybody seemed to like it.

As we drove to the cemetery, I was listening to a CD in the car. It was a "mix" CD I had burned nine or ten years ago. It's labelled "atomic." It has every song I could find about the Atomic Bomb ... Hiroshima by Utopia, Enola Gay by Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark, Manhattan Project by Rush, the classical piece Threnody for the Children of Hiroshima, and so on. Well ... there aren't 80 minutes of songs about the bomb, so I filled the rest of the CD with other stuff, including the original and the 1995 remix of Paul Hardcastle's 19, and, a song I do not remember being part of the CD ... It's Raining Men.

Crazynurse LOVED that song. At every nuthouse party, the song would be played, crazynurse would go to the middle of the dance floor, and every single man at the party, employee or not, was told by their wives and girlfriends to go dirty dance with crazynurse.

So, after I got over the shock of discovering this on my CD, what did I do?

I played it all the way to the cemetery. LOUD. With the windows and sunroof open.

Oh, and another funny thing. The cortege was lead by the hearse, followed immediately by an ambulance. There were a couple people scratching their heads over that one ... Nice little bonus ... the ambulance has that thing that turns traffic lights green ... so even though it's common for a funeral procession not to stop, we actually didn't have to for the entire ride.

love the eulogy, still so sorry you lost your friend.

Wolf your eulogy has me in tears.
I didn't know her except through you, but I'm crying for her anyway.

Thank you.

What a fantastic eulogy, for someone who was clearly a fantastic friend! You are so right when you say that we can continue what the friend or relative we have lost gave us even when they are gone.

Anyone can do the right thing once, or every now and then.

It's much harder to do the right thing day after day - to keep giving even when you're tired.


Well done, Wolf.

Keep an eye on that water glass. You never know.

Wolf, I expect you to be employed very soon. You have done so much above and beyond the call of duty in the name of friendship and love, but in a professional and caring manner, it's impossible that someone who needs a person with your qualities hasn't noticed

..and I don't just mean what you did for crazynurse, which obviously wasn't duty...

wolf, your eulogy made me cry too. thanks for that, kinda.

you're a good person, a good friend.

So, I spent most of yesterday humping stuff from one place to another, in this case crazynurse's house to a storage facility.

Well, there was this one little side-trip.

There was some extra furniture that crazynurse's daughter gave to me.

Nice furniture.

Well, better than furniture, really.

Only thing is, it was kind of disturbing this morning when it woke me up for the physical jerks, but after BB's speech, I feel much better, happier and content.

I don't understand this at all, but are you saying she gave you the TV? Holy cow!

Do the words "Room 101" mean anything to you?

(I'm not trying to sound as snarky as that does when I read it after initially posting it. I thought the book was required reading in most high school lit classes.)

Yes, crazynurse's daughter and son-in-law gave it to me. gothychick and I moved it into my apt yesterday. I can't wall mount it, so they gave me the stand too.

NO

Better clue?

you fell a sleep with the TV on ??

OK I'm totaly familiar with that book, wolf, but I didn't get the reference either. I assumed crazy nurse had some sort of exercise channel programmed as an alarm, and I couldn't work out what the hell Buster had to do with it, just wondered if I'd missed a blossoming cellar relationship.....

Yes, crazynurse's daughter and son-in-law gave it to me. gothychick and I moved it into my apt yesterday. I can't wall mount it, so they gave me the stand too.

Cool !

Ha, no, 1984 as required reading became cliche, no one I know (that's my same age) was required to read it. I did have to read Lord of the Flies, The Scarlet Letter, Catcher in the Rye, and Grapes of Wrath though, so there was still plenty of cliche to go around.

I believe the reason that 1984 was dropped from the curriculum is that it now counts as current events.

Ba-dum-dum TISH!

:D